Life After Death

Solace

MEEREN

"Hi" Jon caressed her face when she started to open her eyes in the morning. Dany squeezed him even more and she did not want to let him go.
"You are still here," she whispered to his chest barely audible.
"Where else would I be?" he asked her quietly and kissed the top of her head. She did not look at him. She avoided the look into his eyes. "Dany?" he placed his finger to her chin and raised her head.
"You... "she was still looking at his chest, his neck, the pillow. Anything else... just not his eyes. "You wanted to ... leave." her voice fell.
"No." he frowned and he was still staring at her. "I never wanted to leave, but I ... thought I have no other choice."
"I don't want you to leave." she finally raised her eyes at him, looked into his eyes. "I..." she felt how her heart was beating in her throat. "I am so sorry." a tear rolled down in her face. "I am so so sorry." she took a deep breath. "I ... did not want to... " she bit her lip and her eyes filled with tears again. "I..."
"Shhhh." Jon pulled her more close. "I know." she buried her face to his neck, and Jon held her in his arms, while a tear poured out from his eyes too. "I know. I am not angry at you," he whispered.
"Can you forgive me?" she took a deep breath, while she barely could breathe. "Ever?"
"I already did." he was squeezing her, while he was crying too.
"Will you stay with me?" she asked so shyly. She was lost and broken. She always tried to hide this side of her... even from him. But now... she was just that little girl. The girl who needed to be loved.
"It depends on you," Jon whispered. "If you let me and accept me and my help. If you talk to me. If you'll be honest with me... I'll stay." it was even hard for him to say those words, but he tried to be strong.
"I need you." her voice was trembling. "I am so sorry." Dany was snuggled closer to him, and she did not want to say another word. She just wanted silence and peace. And after days... that was the first moment when she felt herself the closest to these feelings.

"So you are here." Daario entered into Missandei's room, and he found Nesera there.
"Why do you care?" She raised her eyebrows while rocking the baby in her arms.
"I ... just..." he hesitated.
"Ser Davos sent you?"
"What? No." Daario shook his head.
"You do not come here too often," she stated. "You prefer to spend your time with her mother." she turned her back at him.
"Are you jealous?" he tried to tease her.
"You'd like. But I am not. That ship... is gone." she placed Missandei back to her cradle and gave her a small toy.
"Are you sure it is totally gone?" he stepped closer.
"What do you want?" Nesera turned to him and shook her head. "You did not even pay any attention to me since you had sex with me, and now suddenly you come here and wanna know how I feel myself? You are a little late with this." she was so passionate.
"I love when you are mad at me. It turns me on," he smirked and stepped closer to her.
"I am over you. You better leave, and do your daily task," she answered. Daario leaned his hand towards her and took her chin.
"I am sorry. I did not want to hurt you. I just... I had no idea what I want." he looked into her eyes. He was sexy, charming... yes, she still attracted to him, but she knew... he is an asshole, and his love for Daenerys does not go away. No matter how she wanted him. Now she has someone else in her life, and it was her best choice.
"Well, now it is too late. If you forgive me, I have to take care of Missandei. You better go."

Jon was caressing Dany's back, they were lying there in silence. It was a good feeling. Being close to her, but they cannot stay there the whole day long. They both knew it, or at least Jon knew it. He took a deep breath.
"No. Please." she tried to hold him back. Tried to keep him next to her. Jon took her and laid over her in the bed. Caressed her cheek.
"We have to. We have to get up and ... try to move on." he sighed. "Even if it is hard. Even if we don't want to. That is the only way."
"I don't want to move on. I don't want anything ... I... want to... I..."
"You wanted to start a war." Jon sighed and watching her face. Waiting for her reaction. "Do you really want it? Dany?"
"I don't know what I want. Not anymore." she blurted. "I ... I don't even understand why I am alive. I ... don't deserve to be... "
"Stop." he was so confident or trying to be confident. "You are alive because you have to be alive. You gave birth to a wonderful girl and... in the future you'll... "
"No. Do not continue please." she escaped from his arms and sat to the edge of the bed.
"Dany. We have to talk about it. You know it. You told me you need me, and I need you to talk about it. If you suppress the feeling in yourself it won't help. It is me. You can be honest with me." he sat next to her.
"Then why are you not honest with me?" she looked at him.
"What?" Jon frowned and stared at her eyes.
"I know it was my fault. You've told me to not to leave. You told me it is dangerous, but I did not care about it and I go. I know you. I know you don't want to hurt me, but I also know you ... blame me. I know you are angry and mad at me. You would never say it to me, but I know it... it is written on your face." her lips were trembling and Jon saw it. "Why do you want to be next to me after that? After what I've done?" she shook her head.
"I was mad at you." Jon took her hand. "I was." he nodded and he says it loud finally. "I did not understand, how could you go, not caring about your condition." he sighed. "But I understand why you had to go." he raised his eyes at her.
"I don't" she shook her head and let his hands go. She stood up and walked to the balcony. Jon followed her after some seconds later. He stood right behind her and placed his arms around her body. She placed her arms to his arms.
"I would have never thought... Drogon would take me to a place... which is dangerous for me. But he did." a tear rolled down in her face. "I chose to go with him, but he took me to that place. I've heard stories about Old Valyria. About the ... the story of my family. I've also heard about stories the stone men. I saw greyscale before. I saw it on Ser Jorah, and ... meanwhile when we arrived there... I forgot everything. When I saw the dragon eggs I forgot the more important things." she was so depressed and sad. Even her voice was different. She swiped a tear away from her eyes. "I was so happy. When I saw those eggs. Drogon lost his brothers because of me. He was alone in this world and I was happy because... that ... those eggs meant a family for him. And maybe a new century of dragons. I would have never thought he'll let me injured there. Maybe he wanted it." she shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe he wanted me to lost an important thing too."

Jon frowned and stopped caressing her arms. He also thought Drogon had a huge part in this, but hearing Daenerys talking about Drogon this way... is something that is not okay. It was wrong. It was... Drogon was her son too.
"Only grief speaks from you." Jon sighed and turned her to his direction. "I don't know dragons too well but ... I know that he would never hurt you, just as Ghost would never hurt me." he shook his head. "He did not do it intentionally. I am sure about it. He ... maybe he really just wanted to show you, he has a family too."
"And took mine." Dany raised her eyes at him.
"He is one of the main reasons why you have a family now." Jon trying to form his thoughts into words. "He ... he took you to Kinvara. Without him, you'd have burned ... burned your body "he lowered his voice. He wanted to erase that day from his memory, but that was the truth. "He took me here. He came for me to Westeros. He found me and brought me here. He unites us... again."
"And now he took me to a place, where my child died." Dany was determined in her opinion. No matter what Jon told her, it did not change. He hoped this will change over time. He caressed her cheek. "Maybe it was not the right time. You felt it. You felt it from the beginning." he held his tears back.
"I did not want to kill him." she started to cry again and Jon pulled her to his chest.
"I know." he sniffled and tried to calm her down. It will be a long process. A long healing process. It was not the first time, she lost a child, and he had no idea how she felt herself the last time... but he wanted to make her sure, this thing changes nothing between them. His love has not passed away because of this. "We should..." He placed his palms to her cheek "We should visit our daughter. Together. What do you say?" he asked quietly.

KING'S LANDING

Sansa was sitting in her room. She had no other choice. Bran literally locked her in her room. She agreed to marry Quentin Martell, just for one reason. To save her sister. Arya was the only family she left. Her parents died. Robb and Rickon died. Jon... left her, betrayed her and the family who raised him up, to be with a woman, who wanna kill them... who is insane. Who wanna destroy all King's Landing. Bran became... something different. He became the King of the Six Kingdoms... and his evil side also came to the light. Sansa would have never thought he is that much power-hungry... and evil.
"Can I come in?" Tyrion knocked on her door and walked inside.
"I can't decide anything anymore, so of course. Do what you wanna do." she turned her back at him.
"I am sorry about it." Tyrion sighed. "I thought ... I was happy when you left. I mean... you should have never come here."
"You could've given this advice earlier." she made a face.
"I did not know. I ... always wanted to protect you, Sansa. You have to know that." he stepped closer. "But I failed," he admitted.
"As in everything" she did not spare him. She was mad, puzzled... she hated to be there, as her brother's toy. He literally sold her. Sold her to the Martell's to win the war. He had no right to do it. "You should leave."
"You are right." Tyrion nodded. "I failed. I always chose the wrong ruler. I admit it, but you have to know, I still want to do everything to save you. We'll figure something out."
"Would you tell me how?" Sansa spread her arms.
"I ... " he looked around "I cannot talk about it. I only ask you... to trust me. As you trusted me all time long." he was looking into her eyes. "I am still your friend. Maybe your only friend in King's Landing."