Life After Death

Meet

VOLANTIS

Jon followed her home. He saw how she enters a small flat. He wanted to talk with her, wanted to touch her. Wanted to know, if it is real. She is real, but he was afraid. He was the one who stabbed her. He caused her death. He cannot just go there. He did not know if she'll ever be able to forgive him... he couldn't forgive himself. What he did was not right. That feeling was stronger in him day by day. He did not need 10 years to realize it. He knew it at the moment after he did it, but that was too late.

"Sooner than I thought." the voice came from his back, and he turned in the direction. Kinvara was smiling at him. He was surprised. "Dragons are really intelligent beings, don't you think?"
"Who are you?" he frowned.
"One of the same red priestesses who brought you back from the dead, because our Lord wanted it in that way. Because despite your mistakes, the realm of humans needs you. Both of you, and your power. "
Jon was confused, and he knew it is possible. He was brought back from the dead too, but he could never dream about this. 
"I put a knife in her heart. I killed her." he tried to breathe.
"Just as they did to you. But you are here. As she is. There is a reason why you both are here."
Jon lowered his head. 
"I shouldn't be here. Not after what I've done with her. Drogon should just ... burn me alive"
"But he didn't do it. He went for you and took you here because you have to be here. Because you made life." she answered and took a step closer to him "None of us knows, what the Lord of the Lights wants from us. Not until he reveals his plans, but he gave you the power to make life. Your child is growing in her."
"And I killed both of them." A tear dropped from his eye. That was even worse than he thought. He did not kill just his love, but his child too with that knife. He murdered them. 
"They are alive Jon Snow" Kinvara placed her hand on his shoulder. "Both of them. No matter what you did."
"Does she think this too?" he slowly raised his head. 
"You'll never know if you don't ask her."
He took a deep breath. 
"When Melissandre brought me back. I remembered everything. I remembered the feeling of how they stabbed me, I remembered the darkness and emptiness. I remembered the pain. How could I stand in front of her? She could never forgive me. I could not forgive myself either."
"You are as unbelieving as she is." Kinvara nodded "You are a part of some greater plan. You, she, and your child. If you love her, if you really love her she'll forgive you, but you have to prove it."
"How?"
"Only you can answer this question," she told him and walked towards to her home. Jon did not follow her. He was not ready. Not at that moment. That was too much. The child, the fact, that she is alive. He was happy from the bottom of his heart, but he knew how it feels. He remembered how he felt himself when he came back, and that was even worse. He was betrayed by his brothers in the Night's Watch, but she was betrayed by the one she loved the most. That is a sin, that cannot be forgiven.

A day passed. He spent the last day in the streets, sleep under the sky was not a new thing for him. He did it many times before. Though he could sleep... but his mind was racing. He tried to imagine how he could stand in front of her eyes, what he could say to her. If she would put a knife into his heart, immediately when she sees him, that would be understandable too. He went back to the house and tried to peek at her through the window. 
"Sooner or later you'll die of hunger or thirst." Kinvara stepped next to him "Here." she handed a cup of water and some food to his hand. Jon nodded with a smile. "She is not here." the woman continued. "Come Jon Snow." she walked back to the house. Jon followed her, and Kinvara pointed to the chair with her arms. 
"I don't think it is a good idea, what if ..."
"She'll be away for an hour or two, but if you don't wanna meet with her, why are you still here?" She sat down on the other side of the table.
"I wanna meet her, but... I don't think she wanna meet me." he looked to Kinvara and faked a smile. She did not say anything for an answer, just sitting there and watching him. She knew he has many things in his mind and in his heart.
"I ..." he sighed and started.
"Yes?"
"I ... when I killed her "those words came out from his mouth so hard "and Drogon came. I was ready. I was ready to die. I wanted him to burn me to the ground. Death would be a mercy for me at that moment. But he didn't. Neither Grey Worm nor the dothrakies. They kept me as a prisoner. I was locked in a cell, and all I felt ... was guilt. Remorse. Then my family fought for me. They wanted me to live, so they sent me to the wall, then I break my oath again, and left with the wildings. But there was no happiness for me anymore. I was often alone, in the past few weeks I planned how to kill myself. What would be the well deserved death for a traitor, a murderer like me."
"Nothing is a greater punishment than living with the fact, you killed someone you loved. That will haunt you forever. No escape. It will haunt you forever. Even after death." Kinvara stated. "But she is alive" she added. 
"Not thanks to me." he lowered his head again and clasped his hands.
"She had to be reborn. Just as you." Kinvara told him. Jon was staring at him. He admired her faith and belief. 
"Maybe It would've been better if I stay dead." 

At the moment when he said it, he heard a glass break behind his back. He jumped up and turned around. She was there. She was standing there, in front of him. She was just staring at him and he can easily recognize every emotion in her eyes. The anger, the wrath, the fear... She was even more beautiful than he remembered. 

Dany was destroyed. The man who killed her was right there. The moment she saw him, she just dropped everything from her hands. 
"How did you find me?" she was upset.
"Dany" he whispered her name quietly, it was a miracle. 
"Do not call me that way!" she yelled at him, and she grabbed a dagger from the counter that was next to her "And get out."
"I don't wanna hurt you" he took a step closer slowly
"I said, get out." she pointed to him with the dagger. Jon's eyes were stuck on it. It was the same dagger, that he used when he stabbed her. 
"Dany, I am so sorry. I ... made a mistake." he tried to talk.
"A mistake? That was all I am to you?" she stepped closer and still held the dagger towards him. "A mistake?" her eyes were on fire.
"I did not mean that. What I did to you... that was a..."
"What you did? You killed me. You made me believe you love me, you took advantage of that I trusted you and you put a knife to my heart." She was angry, she hated him. 
"Dany I am..."
"Do not dare to say how sorry you are," Dany yelled at him. "I trusted you. You were the only person I trusted. I wanted to share everything with you. I gave you everything I had. I saved you. I saved you several times, and I sacrificed many things for you and you just killed me." 
"You were not yourself. I thought... we thought you are dangerous for everyone. "
"GET OUT!" she yelled again.
"Dany you killed thousands of innocent people and you did not want to stop. You did not listen to anyone." He told her with tears in his eyes.
"I listened to you but you clearly never loved me. You betrayed me, just like everyone else."
"I loved you... I still..." he tried to not cry.
"Do not dare to say that. If you would really love me ... if you ever loved me, you would never have done it. Get out, I don't wanna see you ever again." she lowered her head. She did not want to give him the joy, to see her crying. 
"I made a mistake." he continued, he was not afraid of her. He did not care about that dagger "I should have listened to my heart." he made a step closer. 
"I swear if you step any closer I will do the same with you," she answered but her voice was trembling.
"Do it" he was staring into her eyes. "I deserve it." he stepped one step closer again, and now the dagger touched his chest. "DO IT!"

The knife fell from her hand and she couldn't hold her tears back anymore. Jon tried to get closer to her, but she stepped back.
"I never want to see you again. Go back to Westeros or wherever you want, and forget me," she told him and started to walk away.
"You cannot deny from me, to see my child." he went after her.
"How do you know it is yours?" Dany turned to him and looked straight into his eyes.
"It is." Kinvara quietly stated from the other side of the room. Dany gave her a killer look. 
"You denied your own child when you put a dagger in my heart," she told to Jon and left him there. He sighed and he suffered. He knew she hates him, but that was worse than he expected. He lost her. No matter whether she is alive or not, she lost her at that moment, when he stabbed her. There is nothing to wonder about. Dany went back to her room and sat on the bed. She was crying. That was something she did not expect. She had no idea why is Jon there. How he found her. She was not ready to see him again. She was not ready to forgive him, no matter whether she carries his child. That was too much. His betrayal was still the most horrible thing for her, and she couldn't let him closer. At that moment she thought, she'll never be able to let him close to herself, or her child. 

"You knew she'll come back" Jon turned to Kinvara and he was mad.
"No. I didn't, but the Lord of the Lights wanted you to meet."
"Enough!" Jon yelled "I have enough of all of this shit." he tried to leave, but before he could close the door Kinvara stopped him.
"You better sit down Jon Snow. She'll need you sooner than she thinks."
"I don't think so," he answered, but they both heard a painful scream from her room. Jon immediately runs there and swung the door. Her face was white and sweating. She held her belly and she had pains. Jon went to her and tried to help her to lie down on the bed.

"Do not touch me." she tried to speak, but he did. He helped her. 
"You can hate me thereafter, but now our child is more important," he told her firmly and Dany tried to breathe normally. 
"This is your fault," she added then she cries out again. 
"Help her." Jon looked to Kinvara, and he begged with his eyes. She nodded with a smile and went closer. Jon was holding Dany's hand. Now he got her back, he did not want to lose her again, even if she never forgives him. He wanted her to survive, he wanted to see their newborn child in her arms. Finally, he understood why Drogon brought him there.