Criminal Minds Imagines

one hundred and sixty: insensitive

"how are you holding up?" garcia asked you as you sat in her office, throwing one of her light up balls towards the ceiling.

"i could be better," you muttered, setting it back on the desk as garcia sat down in front of you. you looked up at her, the sadness seeping through your eyes. "i really miss him."

"hey, at least you didn't break up with him," she replied as you looked at her in confusion. "because then you'd be seen as the one who isn't strong enough to push through all the problems, you know?"

"garcia, i know you're trying to make me feel better but this really isn't helping me at all," you muttered, looking off to the side.

she sighed. "i know, i'm really sorry."

"it's okay, garcia," you replied before looking at the time and standing up. "we need to go. hotch needs us there in two minutes."

she nodded, standing up and following you out of there as you two walked silently to the conference room.

when you got there, you heard some laughter as you looked up, seeing j.j. and reid laughing at something together. you brushed it off because you knew how good of friends she and reid were which was perfectly fine- you didn't have issues with girls you were friends with or not friends with being friends your now ex boyfriend.

however, when hotch walked into the room to call attention towards the case and away from anything else, you saw j.j. press a kiss to his cheek before going over to her seat.

you landed a little loudly in your chair as you felt your heart begin to break, you felt sick to your stomach, and you felt like the oxygen was coming out of your body.

j.j. looked over and suddenly realized you had seen what had happened between the two of them as she looked over at reid while you stared straight forwards at the table.

you were frozen.

reid looked at j.j. with a sad nod before looking back over at you.

you looked so broken- he had done that to you. he felt horrible for causing this.

and here he went making it worse with one of your friends only a week after the two of you had broken up.

-
on the plane ride there, everyone was going over details of the case in order to solidify it in their minds as you sat next to morgan on the outer chair that was closer to everyone.

"so, he wanted them to suffer?" you asked, hoping for someone other than reid or j.j. to respond but you knew him too well.

"he clearly wanted them to know something important to him that they wouldn't of known. studies have shown that people can force things onto people that may not be actual facts but more of what they believe is a fact," reid replied as you looked towards the wall of the plane before looking at garcia.

she nodded slightly to you as you felt nausea bubbling in your throat that you feel like you couldn't contain.

everyone looked over at you, j.j. observing how you looked at the wall, then at garcia, then towards your hands before focusing back on the table.

she felt horrible for her and reid dating. at least, for her and reid dating so soon after you two had broken up.

"maybe he wanted them to not only know what had happened to him but understand his loss?" j.j. spoke up as you cleared your throat, getting up and excusing yourself to go to the back of the jet where you sat down, putting your head in your hands as you just started crying.

he had already moved on from you and onto your best friend.

you obviously didn't mean that much to him.

-
when getting off the plane, you felt terrible. you felt like a huge weight was pushing down on your body and you couldn't breathe and at this point, you just wanted it to keep pressing.

"hey, ____," j.j. said as she caught up to you. you didn't say anything or look at her. "can we talk?"

you nodded. "yeah, sure."

she stopped you, looking at you with sorry eyes.

"_____, i'm so sorry for what reid did to you," she began. "and he has a right to move on, right? but maybe we shouldn't of done it so quickly perhaps."

you nodded, continuing to avoid eye contact.

"reid can do what he wants. he's his own person and i'm mine. and because i'm my own person, i want to be left alone right now since i just got my heart broken by a guy that i dated for four years before he broke up with me just to get with my friend at work."

you walked away from her as you tried to quiet the small cries coming from your lips but they were clearly heard as morgan came over and walked with you.

reid came over to the j.j. as he looked over at you.

"did i do that?" he asked softly.

she nodded. "you broke her heart, reid."

he continued to stare at you.

"i feel like such a crappy boyfriend," he muttered. "i didn't want to. i thought i let her down easy."

"spence, you and _____ dated for four years. that's a long time. it'll take more than letting her down easy to fix her heart. she's going to need time- time away from you, time away from me, time away from us. she's going to need her friends and i messed that up. she's going to need time trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she doesn't have you anymore and that's hard."

he nodded, letting out a sigh.

"i wish i could help her," he muttered.

j.j. sighed. "the only way to help her right now is to let her heal from everything."

he nodded, watching you as you wiped the tears from your eyes but couldn't stop crying.

he had done that.

he was insensitive.

and he caused this.