Poems and Other Stuff {including plot bunnies}

Chapter One 'A Spiral Void of Chaos' part 1



We all sat at the table, like any other Thursday Night. Another day of breathing had gone by, even in my case. I sat there quietly admiring the dim light above our heads. It wasn't the light I really wanted to see, but at the moment it would do. In the background I could hear their chewing. The small bits of food sloshing around in their mouths along side with the grinding of teeth. It was a harmony that I had gotten use to.

 I looked to the left then I looked to the right. I was admiring everyone. Their skin, the radiant warmth of their heat, the intake and release of breath, and the beat. The beat of their hearts, the sound of it brought joy to my ears.  If  I could wish anything, I would wish that I could have that back. Oh, if I could wish.

I died in a car accident 5 years ago.

I can remember every single detail.

It is just as if it had happened yesterday.

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The cool wind whipping around the car as we raced down the road, we all felt alive. Me,  my girlfriend Anne, James, and James's girl Monica. It was late autumn and we were heading back from college. We raced down the back roads singing along to the song playing in the car. You Found Me by the Fray.                                                       

'I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad. Where the West was all but won.'

My hands patted the clove box of the car as James gripped the black steering wheel. 

'All alone, just smoking his last cigarette. I said "Where've you been?" He said, "Ask anything."'

We took a pretty sharp turn, making us all bounce in our seats. The girls in back were giggling, amused.

'Where were you, when everything was falling apart. All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang.

I looked back at Anne, her golden honey curls bounced around as her sparkling blue eyes light up. She was being hugged by a smiling Monica. The soft waves of her black hair falling over her beautiful grey eyes.

'And all I needed was a call that never came to the corner of 1st and Amistad.'

I looked over at James. He wasn't singing anymore. There was something about how he looked. Something that was strange. I looked ahead to see what he was looking at.

.....Seconds passed.....

'Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me. Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded.'

I  saw it, just before we hit. The tree that had fallen in the road. If you were going the speed limit you might have seen it. You might have been able to stop. That wasn't the case right now.

'Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late, you found me, you found me.'

We collided. Simple and short, but truly that's what happened. We collided. It was all going so fast; I couldn't fully focus on what was happening. It was as some would put 'a spiral void of chaos' and I was stuck right in the middle. Few things actually became stuck in my mind. Their screaming, the high pitch of it; the calling out all of it so painful. Then Darkness.

 I was surrounded by it.

Consumed by it.

 It was I and I was it.

 Yes this does sound like some psychological bullshit but kid you not- this is what happened. I became fully part of this void of chaos. Time was just a word where I was, just part of your imagination. I never would have thought death to be like this.