After The Fall

BTF: Chapter Twenty - Five 💙

Rosie's pov

"What you mean you're going away?"

The baby tries a frown and it's totally funny to look on her adorable face. Next to the baby, Chaeyoungie clicks her tongue, crossing her legs altogether. Lilibear watches closely, her two younger sisters.

"It means" I collect the baby from her place on the couch and rest her in my lap. "I'm not going to be home for quite some time so you and Chaeyoungie have to be nice with Lilibear running the house, helping mama"

"Nooo"

The baby's lips quiver slightly as her eyes start to water. "Don't go" her voice goes thin than a whisper. Her fingers clutching to my arms tightly. "Don't go, mommy"

She pouts and my heart breaks.

"It's not like that"

I clear my throat. Chaeyoungie sits there on the couch, her expression is almost unreadable. "I'm gonna be back. But not always. I would be away and it's miles away, baby"

"What if I miss you?"

She asks again, her voice is still think like a whisper. I take a deep breath, forcing a smile as I cradle her face. I can't cry, I keep telling myself. Because Lilibear is watching me.

"I know you will, baby"

I kiss her forehead. She pouts again. Her eyes watery.

"But, I'll be back, you know. Whenever I can. So that I can be with you"

I assure the baby who now looks so tiny as she presses herself hard into my side and hides her face against my left ribcage. I hear soft sobbing and her frame shakes a little as a rush of emotion hits her.

But instead of just watching her slowly breaking apart that also breaks me in the same time, I wrap my arms around her body, kissing her cheeks, wiping away all her tears. "I'm sorry I have to go" I tell her. "But no matter where I am, you would always be my baby"

"Even Mars?"

The baby says, tiny small, mischievous smile pops all over her face in a teasing manner which makes her identical to Lisa in such way provokes a smile put me too.

I nod my head, playing with her thick, bob - cut hair.

"Yes, even Mars, my love"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

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"Pourquoi pleures-tu toujours ?" Why are you always crying?

Lilibear asks as she stares at me from the vanity mirror I'm currently stand in front of. I take a deep breath.

She is always the living version of my mother.

But in a great way that I could never lived up to.

"How about English in the first place?"

I wash my face and dry it with a warm towel. She looks at me amusingly, clearly waiting for me to finish my thought.

Her left shoulder digs into the wall as she crosses her arms. "Dis moi pourquoi?" Tell me why?

"You know why"

I say, rolling my eyes playfully at her smirk.

"J'ai besoin de l'entendre. Allez, maman"

"Mon français est nul" I say in the best French accent I can muster but that alone makes my Lilibear smiles, shaking her head as she finally nods her head in agreement.

"Alright, English only"

She teases, taking a deep breath and I see from the reflection in the mirror of how similar we both look like. Or how well my Lili has grown up to resemble me in every way possible.

But I would say this:

That she would always be the expensive, unaffordable version of me.

"Well, thank you" I mock her back which makes her smile in return. "I'm very honored to speak only English with you"

"Well, then I guess you should proceed"

"Do you think Chaeyoungie understand?"

I ask and she clicks her tongue, her eyebrows are shot upward for a moment before she nods her head. "She would have to. It's your job to go and sing for the world anyway. You can't deny your job or passion. You are not doing it for anyone else. It's for you"

"But she didn't say anything when I told her that"

"You were telling Ji-Ae"

Lilibear clarifies. "And Chaeyoungie just trying to be an adult but we both know she isn't qualified for that yet so I'll be talking to her soon. You know, to instill some senses into her brain"

"Don't you think I should be the one who do that?"

I ask expectantly and Lilibear gives a small smile.

"I don't think so. You're suck at making everything clear although with Ji - Ae, you did moderately good which I'm proud of you"

"Why are you always like your Halmoni?"

I state. "She always has these words attacking me"

"These words are not attacking you" she says as she steps forward, arms all wrapped around my waist.

"We both just want the best for you. And considering you are the very essence to all of our existences, we want you to do only the best"

I smile at her, clearly at the very of crying again but she wipes my tears away even before they can roll down my cheeks. "You're always crying"

She jokes. "But we all love you, mommy. All very dearly"

"And I love you too" I breathe in her hair. She always smells so expensive.

My one and only Lilibear.

"So so much, Lili"

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