After The Fall

Chapter Thirty Three ❤️

Lisa's pov

I take a deep breath as we are sitting next to one another on the bench in the park. My darling Ji-Ae is running after a wild duckling with the biggest grin on her face.

"Mama" she yells as she chases after that poor thing that definitely aiming for the water.

"Do you see me?" she giggles as her tiny feet do wonder by moving probably too fast to my liking.

"I see you, little love"

I say quickly and breathless as I  pace faster than her tiny feet will ever be and catch her by the back collar just in time before she launches herself inside the pond.

"Ugh, let me go" she fights me as narrows her eyes at the duckling that's probably smirking in victory. "Let me catch that chicken"

She whines once as I lift her up and snuggle my face against her chubby cheek. "I really think that's not a chicken" I say. "No, it is. It got wings, mama. But it couldn't fly"

She says and I laugh at her smartness. She has always been so bright and adorable. "Yeah, but it has a beak" I touch her lip lightly and she grins, probably feeling the tickle.

"And a beak means it's a duckling"

"Oh" her cute little lips forming an o shape and she looks clueless to the new fact before she scrunches her face in a way Roseanne always does. "Then she's the ugly duckling"

The baby smirks and I bite her fluffy cheek. "I think everyone is pretty, you know. There is no such thing as an ugly duckling"

"But ugly mom is real"

She adds and I sort of wheezed. "Wh... What?"

I clear my throat and she looks at me. "When I used to go to school, my friends all got ugly mom. But my mommy is pretty. She's Roseanne Park"

She brags and I shake my head in amusement. "Yeah, Roseanne Park is your mommy" I state. "Bet you already winning in life, yeah?"

I echo before shuffling away from the pond with Roseanne's little baby against my arms.

"Why don't you just play with the Frozen jumping rope that I got for you?"

I point at the blue and white jumping rope that she insisted I bought for her online last week. "Oh yes" she wiggles her body from my grips.

"I want to play that. I can do 100 jumps and you can do 200 jumps and Lili can do more hundred jumps"

She says happily as she runs to grab the thing from her big sister. "Well, that's wonderful, baby" Lili says. "But I might break my legs if I jump too much"

"Then do a hundred" the little baby suggests. "Like me"

"Well, you go ahead first" I kiss her temple. "Mama and Lili are going to watch you from the bench, alright?"

"I'm going to win this challenge"

The baby says to herself before smirking at me as she begins to jump.

A moment later, after probably three jumps, she comes running to me crying saying her tiny little feet are already tired and she needs a timeout.

I laugh as I pick her up and rest her on my lap, holding her juice bottle in place as she takes a long sip.

"So, I heard from mommy"

I begin and Lili is quick to dodge the bullet. "I have everything under control"

She insists but I know for a fact, that she doesn't.

"Lilibear" I clear my throat as her little sister opens her mouth widely as an invitation to the rough wind to fill her tummy up since she's so hungry.

"I'm eating the wind" she says but I just ignore her for a second. "You know, I'm always proud of you, right?"

"I don't need you to always, constantly be proud of me" she replies delicately.

"I'm just..." her voice grows thinner before she clenches her jaws and looking away.

Only her side profile is visible at this stage.

"Just forget it"

She says. "I don't want to talk about it"

"Well, alright" I clear my throat. "But if you really feel like you want to talk about it, just call me, alright? I'll be here for you, Lilibear. I love you"

I say but I know for a fact that she is not convinced at all.

And I'll never understand why.

🥺🥺🥺

"For someone who is dealing with depression, you do seem carefree"

I say to my Chaeyoung who is currently playing with her Xbox on the TV in the living room.

She frowns for a moment as she battles some faceless assassin.

"Why is depression?"

She asks, eyes on the TV rather than on me. I take a deep breath and sigh. Chaeyoung has always been an ignorant.

"Speaking about which, I still need to take you to see the health counselor" I insist and she whines again. "You can't take me there. I'm not crazy"

"Depression doesn't mean you're crazy, Chaeng. It means you need help"

"I don't need one"

"Well, those who need help never say out loud that they need help"

"Mama!"

She whines as a red fonts appear on the screen. It reads You Have Lost.

I ignore her. "Tomorrow, you're coming with me. I'm just gonna ring Lilibear and ..."

"Why are you going to ring Lilibear?"

The kid frowns. "Mama, it's already bad enough that she hogs mommy. Now, she wants to take you too?"

"Chaeng"

I say firmly. "She doesn't hog me or whatsoever. She is as much of my daughter as you and Ji-Ae are"

"Yeah but I don't care"

She retorts. "Mama, you don't have to care for her. She has lots of people who love her. But me? I only have you"

"How may times" I shut my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose as I speak again.

"Must i tell you that your mommy loves you too? More than words can say"

"More than words can say my ass"

Chaeyoung chides and I open my eyes to stare at her disapprovingly. "Chaeyoung, don't be so disrespectful"

But she doesn't seem to care.

"I lost mommy back then. Now I'm gonna lose you too?"

She asks before storming into her room, making sure she slams the door as hard as she can.

"God"

I sit up on the couch, crossing my legs as I think again, where the hell did I mess up.

🙆🙆🙆