Heartbreak Hotel (Editing)

Chapter 43: No Regrets

I was sitting in the studio late one night playing Prelude to a Afternoon of a Faun by Debussy on piano. I wanted to take my mind off of everything, and some how it eased my mind. Everything about playing piano eased my mind. It relaxed me and made me forget about my problems for a while. That's probably why I spent so many hours on the piano back at home when I was younger. If I had my way I would have played all day and night, but of course Sasha wouldn't allow it with her work schedule. She needed as much sleep as possible for her graveyard shifts that she worked. I was glad that I was able to come a studio everyday where I could just play as much as I wanted.

The way my weekend had gone I was in desperate need of some mind easing. My mothers funeral was more hard than I thought it would be. Seeing the casket was like the confirmation of her actually being gone. I literally broke down when I saw it. I cried on Liana's shoulders while the service went on, and when all my wells were emptied I began focusing on Pastor Brown. He said something in his sermon that caught my attention. " You can't help nobody else, if you don't know yourself. You can't help your family if you're not tuned in to yourself. If you are in the dark you need someone who cares enough about you to want to help you. You need someone you who are gonna say you are worth waiting for and helping. You need someone to pull you into light and show you that you are worth something. You don't deserve to drown in your own misery." I immediately began thinking of Michael and the times he had told me that I didn't deserve to live in so much pain. It got me to wondering...did God send him to me? Was he put in my life to save me from myself? Did--

"Hey!" Michael came in carrying To-go plates in his hand distracting me from my thoughts. He sat it down on the table and smiled at me. "You're playing Debussy."

"Yeah, I know."I said as I turned to him eyeing the plates. "Where have you been?" I asked.

"No where, mother sent this for us."

A smile stretched across my face."Really? That's nice of her."Katherine always made the best food. Anytime I was at Havenhurst she would try and feed me because she said I needed meat on my bones. I never complained because she was amazing. I would've sat there and ate all day if I wanted to."I miss Mother, I need to come by and see her when I get back to Encino."

"She misses you too, she was asking about you."

"Really? What'd she say?"I asked, curious.

He shrugged his shoulders tipping his head to the side."Just wondering how you've been. She misses you too. So does Janet and Randy."

I stood up from the bench and walked up to him. "Janet has got to be at least sixteen years old now." Janet and I had became really close with our time together. We were both tom boys who loved riding horses, going swimming, feeding animals, and watching movies all day. We usually teased Michael a lot too. We would ignore him and start doing our own thing just to frustrate him especially when we knew he wanted alone time with me. We always had an instant connection like Michael and I did.

"She is, and she's been askin' about you too."

I smiled.

His face grew serious. "How are you?"

"I've been fine." I said softly.

He walked up to me and hugged me."You sure?" I knew he was asking about how I've been holding up on my mother's death. He was just being caring.

No, I wasn't "fine" anymore. I felt like I was about to erupt being in his arms. His warmth made my heart melt. I inhaled the sweet smell of his cologne,closing my eyes as it stimulated my brain. "Yeah, I'm fine." I reassured him.