Heartbreak Hotel (Editing)

Chapter 42: Sisterhood

Leena's POV

"Ooooh...." Sasha, Liana, Liyah, and I stood in front of my mother's brown casket that sat over her grave. Sasha was crying I could see the tears coming from her eyes as she tried to keep her vocals as smooth as possible. We all held each other tightly as we stared down at her casket. My heart was aching painfully, and with every brush of wind it ached even more. I had cried all my tears out. They were dried on my face; only becoming evidence of my broken heart.

Liyah surprisingly was upset also. I couldn't understand why though, she hated her guts. Didn't want anything to do with her. Yet, here she was in front of us holding her head down. Her crying had also subsided and all I could see was the sorrow in her eyes. She ran her fingers through her long thick hair as she began singing. "Precious Lord.....take my...hand. Lead me on..let me stand. I'm tired, I'm weak, I'm lone..."Her voice was a little shaky. Liana put her hand on her shoulder. "Through the storm..."

"Yes, Jesus..." I heard on of our church members say.

"Throooough....the night...."It amazed me how much emotion that girl could put into a song. It was like...magic almost. "Lead me...on...to the light...yeah. Take my hand...precious Lord, I need you to lead me on...."

"Lead Me on!" We sung.

"When my grows drear precious Lord...linger near...When my....life is almost gone..." She inhaled as she shook her head.."HEAR....MY CRY! Hear...my call, hold my hand...lest I fall..Take my hand...When the darkness appears...and the night draws near..And the day is past and gone......At the river I stand, guide my feet hold my hand. Take my hand..."

"Take my hand.."

"Precious Lord, lead me home..."

"Lead me....home...." Our voices faded and Liyah turned to us with tears in her eyes. Liana was the first to pull her into her arms, cooing her while she cried.

The pastor came up and began his part and by then I was done with this funeral. I couldn't stand church or church people. I couldn't stand the smell of funerals. I hated the sound of them too. The tears the sorrow, all of it was just too much for me to handle. Especially if it was my own relative. I remembered my grandmother's funeral clearly. I remembered all the people around me crying, I remember seeing her lie in that casket. I remember the smell of her. I remember...holding Liyah as she buried her face in my chest. She didn't understand death at the time. She didn't understand a lot of things at that time. She was hurting and I was her comfort. She was the only one I had, and I was the only one she had. That was back when we still showed love for each other. After moving in with my mother....that lobe was buried beneath the pain and the tears that was hidden behind those screaming walls.

We had forgotten about our sisterhood. We had forgotten about the fun times. All the laughter, all the smiles.  It was lost and we never found it. Never tried to search for it either. We just lost touch with each other and it looked like it took for our mother to die to see the truth. I looked at her. She was stating at the preacher, listening to what he was saying.  Sighing I walked up to her and placed my arm around her. I could see the confusion I'm her gray eyes. It slowly changed as she wrapped her arms around me to.

We held each other until the burial service was over and without a words we let each other go and began walking to the car with our heels sinking into the grass. It was a quiet ride back to the house. No one said anything. Not Nikki, not De, or even Jojo. I don't think there was anything for us to say. It had been a depressing day. A depressing week. Conversation was just out of the question.

The day dragged on as more and more people from the church came in bringing food giving us blessings. Honestly all I wanted to do was go home. I didn't imagine myself coming back to Harlem after I had left. I was sitting at the kitchen table while Sasha chatted with one of the church members, Sister Sheriff. She explaining to her how my mother had died and honestly I couldn't understand why. It really wasn't any of her business. "...by an infected needle. They predicted that it happened right before she was arrested."

Sister Sheriff placed her brown hands over her mouth. She shook her head. "Oh, my God...Jesus Christ, we need you Jesus. Lord..."

Lord, if this woman do not shut the hell up...I'm gonna be the one needing help.

I stood up from my chair and walked through the hallway of my old home. I stopped in front of Aj's old bedroom. Where I saw her sitting in the floor in front of the nightstand. She was still in her back dress, with her long hair draping over her shoulder. She was taking what looked like stacks of letters out of her bottom drawer. "Hey, you." I said softly as I sat on the bed.

"Hi,"

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She shook her head." I found those letters she sent to me all those years. I guess I should read them, huh?"

"Yeah, you should." Those letters held all the answers that I had for her and it made me forgive her too, understand her. She admitted that everything she had done was wrong, and she was sorry for all the pain she had caused us.

I watched as she put them in her bag. "You know, you sung the hell out of that song."

She laughed lightheartedly. "Thanks,"

"Momma wanted me to tell you something."

Her eyes peered up at me slowly. "What?"

"When she left she said for me to tell you that she loves you, and that she's so sorry. She felt like she was the reason you had to go to rehab."

I expecting her to agree with her but she shook her head. "No...I had to go based on decisions that I made." She said as she stood up and dusted herself off. "You know, Momma always said that whatever happened in that house stayed in the house. How can anything ever get healed if it stays covered up?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know how to answer that question. "It doesn't heal at all. You think it does, but doesn't. I had to learn that the hard way."

"Why are you saying this?"

"I'm saying that I think it's time I just let the past be the past, forget about my child hood and accept it, before I lose everything that's right in front of me."

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A/N: Sorry for the suckish short chapter.