Heartbreak Hotel (Editing)

Chapter 88: No Angel

Dear Aaliyah,

Sometimes I wish it was easier to talk to you. You know, heart to heart. But it's obvious that you want nothing to do with me, and I don't hate you for it either.

I've made many mistakes in my life. Some I regret greatly. Some I do not. You have to realize that some of things that happened between us happened for a reason. You can't change your fate, no matter how hard you try. It will catch you one way or another. At this point in your life you have a lot to learn. You're barely an adult, but you've already done more than I could have ever done.

That was getting help. You were strong enough to realize you had a problem. That was something I was never able to do. Even now that I'm clean I know that all it does is take me one time to even look at drugs and I'll be back on it.

I remember the things you told me. You know, on the day when you showed me all the scars that are on your arms. I knew that what I had done to you was wrong and that it had affected you. I just didn't know how bad. I remember how the tears ran from my eyes. They didn't fall because it hurt me. I just hate to see you cry.

After everything I had put you through, I sometimes wish we could be strangers. So I didn't have to look you in your eyes and know your pain. Know that I was the person who caused it. But if I kept myself from danger. I know this emptiness I have will feel the same.