~~~
Sleep comes for her eventually. But, when her eyes open again, the early morning of January struggles to brighten up the sky with its meek, useless sun. It sneaks in through the crack in Kira's curtains, piercing right into her eyelids, waking her from her slumber. It's finally a new day and Kira feels like she hardly slept at all.
She rubs her sleepy eyes and prepares for a fresh day, finally back to school after a week at Endeavour's agency. Classes are merely a blur, her eyes cast down at her booklets, as she scribbles down anything and everything the teachers say. Finals are steadily approaching, so aside from mastering her Quirks and physical feats, she needs to progress her mind, her logical responses.
Kira no doubt has to continue her training with Shinso today too, as her Quirk control is equally as important, if not, more so. Her Atomic Power hasn't revealed itself since Nabu Island and she's proud of herself. She hasn't even felt this uncontrollable power bubbling inside her at all. Perhaps her progress with Bakugou has something to with it. After all, he is the core of her problems, her focus.
The school day finishes abruptly and Kira follows the crowd of students out of UA, heading towards the dorms. She has a lot of weight on her shoulders, her plate crammed full of issues, but she can't allow her mind to cling to distractions. She repeats this to herself, as she enters the dormitory with her classmates. However, instead of mingling with her friend, like usual, she dumps her bag just inside and decides to wait outside on the veranda. Shinso and Mr Aizawa will arrive soon to collect her, so she wants a head-start on her validity.
Her friends question her motives and she reassures them with the truth. They shrug at her assertiveness and head inside, chatting and cackling amongst themselves. Bakugou usually confronts her about training with Shinso, but she hasn't spoken to him since yesterday in the kitchen. Her hand unwillingly places itself on her chest, just above her heart, as if that will stop it from beating so relentlessly. A few minutes pass, maybe half an hour of alone time outside the dorms, with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company and Mr Aizawa finally shows up with Shinso in tow.
"You been waiting long?" Aizawa speaks up.
Kira shakes her head, skipping down from the veranda. "No, only a few minutes."
Kira joins Shinso as Aizawa leads them to the training grounds. She's pleased to see him again, even though it's only been a little over a week. They chat without end, getting lost in each other's adventures from the past week. The reason why Shinso didn't go home for the holidays is because he decided to spend his personal time training - Kira did spar with him for a bit. He also did his work study with Mr Aizawa.
"Alright, we're here," Aizawa announces. "So, pipe down." Kira stops talking instantly, standing straight beside Shinso, as Aizawa glares at the both of them. "You remember where we left off?" Her homeroom teacher adds, his eyes flicking from Kira to Shinso, then back to her again. Kira nods eagerly, determined to jump back into action. Getting a few hits off will help clear her mind. "Good," he grumbles. "Shinso has spent the New Year's drastically improving his skills," he informs her directly. "So, you'd better have learnt something at your time at the number one hero's agency."
Kira looks at Shinso beside her - he actually looks a little bit smug at his supposed improvement. She scoffs lightly, excited to show him what she's learnt once they start sparring. Even Mr Aizawa doesn't know about this new skill she's acquired. Kira just hopes she remembers how to activate it. Every time it's occurred, it's been purely instinctual, so she just has to latch onto those memories, the words that Bakugou said to her.
"You're overthinking it," he says, ignoring her persistence. "Don't rely on it. Just use it."
"Face each other," Aizawa orders and they do. "You know the drill. Quirks first, spar second."
Kira offers an inviting smile to Shinso, as he clutches onto his binding cloth. "Speak," he tells her.
"Okay," she replies, submitting herself to his Brainwashing capabilities.
She'll never get used to this feeling, of having her own body used against her, her will stripped away. Shinso's Quirk could be ruthless if used in the wrong hands. It just shows that she trusts him completely.
"Show me your Quirk."
Kira obeys the ringing tone in her ears, submitting to Shinso's commands and her Atomic Power erupts, her whole body aglow and her skin as hot as the sun. Her uniform already struggles to remain consistent under the intensity of her Quirks heat, starting to sizzle around her wrists. She forces her focus back to what's important, trying to slow her heartbeat, thinking of him.
"Stop." Shinso's clear voice in her mind controls her abilities and her Atomic Power vanishes.
Kira wobbles on her feet, but remains firm, looking at her teacher and friend expectantly. They usually have something to comment, remarking on whether or not she's changing. Aizawa steps over and Kira frowns at his inclusion.
"You're showing signs of improvement," he tells her bluntly. "But, you need to be able to deactivate this power as easy as flicking off a light switch."
"Yes, sir," she mumbles.
"Again," Aizawa orders, resuming his normal position.
Kira nods to Shinso, alerting him of her readiness and he speaks to her. She replies and allows herself to fall under his control. Her power explodes and she instantly thinks of Bakugou. Not her surroundings, or the heat, or her clothes. Just him, his face, his truth, his sincerity, his eyes, his advice, his strength, his body-
"Stop," Shinso says again.
Kira drops an inch or two, her body overpowering her control with intense energy and unrelenting resilience. She shakes the stars from her vision, blinking away the dizziness to Aizawa's unhappy face. Is she not progressing as well as she thought? Is she not thinking about the right things? What part of Bakugou is her focus here?
"I know what I have to do," Kira says abruptly, nodding to herself.
"You do?" Shinso wonders.
She looks over at him, as he heads back over, obviously having created distance from her catastrophic Quirk. "I need to make amends."
She's not there yet. Kira needs to confront Bakugou now more than ever. She needs to rid this apology from her lips. She needs their feelings to be mutual. She needs to be whole.
Is now the right time to confess?
She remembers the way he stormed out of the kitchen yesterday, dismissing her chance at some kind of confession, leaving her torn and confused. Just like the hypocrite she is.
"Again," Mr Aizawa says without warning.
Kira prepares her body and mind, as Shinso speaks to her. She answers, allowing her will to be stripped from her. They repeat this several times, only ever allowing her Atomic Power to consume her for a few seconds at a time. But, now her skin itches, her head pounds, her eyes sting. She's unsteady on her feet, her arms reaching out for balance and searching for support.
Aizawa allows her a moment to regain her stability, for her skin to cool, before starting their sparring session. She's interested to see this progress that Shinso's made, but equally giddy to reveal her new skills. Kira can use her new traversal technique to outmanoeuvre Shinso's binding cloth.
There's no clear, direct natural light source in this training hall, the roof made of tough metal, shielding them from any hint of the sky. However, Kira's learnt that she doesn't need to see light to bind it to her will. It's constant, particles living everywhere and anywhere. She just needs to feel it.
Aizawa gives the go ahead to start their sparring session and Kira prepares herself, her arms raised to protect herself. But, Shinso is hesitant, patient. He usually likes to strike first, get his opponent off guard, but he waits, one hand gripping his cloth, the other palm out, like he's ready to grab her. This is different. Seems like he's worked hard over New Year's with Aizawa, so Kira has to learn what his fighting style may be like all over again. At least she'll be able to train her mind as well.
Kira lunges, her stance wide and prepared, her fists evenly apart, ready to attack and defend if need be. She aims a right hook, testing the waters. Shinso shows surprising speed, leaning back, but keeping his feet glued to the floor. Usually, a dodge like that would leave the opponent off balance, but Shinso seems perfectly calm and poised, forcing his body upright and aiming a punch for her ribs. She sees it coming and allows his strike to make contact. She winces as his fist connects against her bones, rattling her senses up her spine. However, a hit like that is more likely to hurt him more than her - he needed to aim lower, for her gut, her diaphragm.
Kira counters, intertwining her hands and slamming all her weight down on his back, right in the middle of his spine. His back arches at the contact and he stumbles forwards. Kira pushes him away, allowing him to recover from this awkward start. They're just warming up, that's all.
Shinso turns to her, straightening slowly, his back and spine sore. He's smiling though, clearly glad to be back. He grabs his binding cloth, pulling it free and loose from around his neck and Kira bends her knees, composing herself for what may come next. He rushes her, one hand making a hasty grab for her and Kira has no choice but to dodge or be in his clutches. She steps backwards once, twice. But, he's gained considerable speed since they're last session together. Kira can either risk countering his attack and close the distance, but she doesn't want to be close with that binding cloth. Or, she can gain more distance and figure out what part of himself he's leaving vulnerable.
Kira leaps back, her feet leaving the ground. Usually, keeping her feet planted is the best approach, so her opponent doesn't see the opportunity of her being potentially off balance, but she needs space. Shinso's rushed attack is meant to force her backwards, he's relying on it. As soon as her feet leave the security of solid ground, his binding cloth whips out at stunning speed, soaring towards her quicker than she can judge. It's a pain she can't use her Quirk to burn it to ash. Damn - no Quirks means she can't use her new traversal style to escape this situation. She'll show him next time.
The binding cloth latches onto her left ankle and Kira grits her teeth. Shinso wrenches his arm back, yanking her towards him. Kira spots his fist clenched, ready to knock her lights out and she braces, crossing her arms over her face. The distance between them closes drastically and Kira feels like she's about to fall over, but she keeps her composure. Shinso's fist connects with her forearms, a heavy hit that causes her to cry out slightly. Her bones feel like they're going to snap in half. When did he go and get that strong and that fast?
The force of his punch drives her back a few steps and the cloth still around her ankle remains firm. It's starting to annoy her now. Kira lowers her aching arms ever so slightly, glaring at Shinso over her crossed wrists. Her eyes snap down to the binding cloth, tight and firm. There's no slack, so takes advantage of it, quickly stamping on it with her free foot. It pulls him over barely an inch, but that's all she needs. A single stammer, just a hint of off-balance is all she requires to finish this sparring session. As Shinso is thrown slightly forwards by her next attack, her foot still tugging the cloth down, his eyes flicker down to the ground and Kira lunges, using her own unique speed to rush her opponent. Even though he looked away for less than a second, it granted her the necessary opening she needed.
Kira aims her knee out and she connects with Shinso's gut, causing him to release his hold on his binding cloth and double over, grabbing his midsection. He drops to his knees and Kira backs off, obviously having won the fight. She crouches down to make sure he's actually okay, while undoing the binding cloth from around her ankle. She can feel where the durable material has rubbed against her skin and she winces slightly. Her forearms also feel on the verge of being broken, an intense pain stabbing into her skin.
"I thought..." Shinso wheezes, as he slowly composes himself and stands up. "I thought my improvement would be enough to finally beat you."
"You've definitely improved," she reassures him. "Trust me, I wasn't expecting that speed or strength from you just then." He doesn't appear to be satisfied with her response. "I've been training in hand-to-hand combat for most of my life, Shinso," she adds. "And you've already come this far in just a few months." She shows her arms to him, rolling down her tattered sleeves. "See?"
She looks at her skin as well, noticing where his hits have already started to bruise her flesh. Though her healing Quirk will deal with it... in its own time.
"Good thing you have your second Quirk then, right?" He voices, basically reading her mind.
"Good work today, you two," Mr Aizawa praises, slowly heading over to them. "You've both improved considerably," he tells them. "Shinso, your control over your Quirk has grown exponentially, as well as your combat. Kiriya, you're closer to mastering control over your Atomic Power, though something is holding you back an as always, you're formidable in close quarters."
Kira narrows her eyes at her teacher. "Why does this sound like an end to our sessions?"
"We've only just started them again," Shinso backs her up.
"This is about the Hero Public Safety Commission, isn't it?" Kira asks.
Aizawa looks to her sharply. "How do you know anything about that?"
"Because I'm not stupid, sir," she remarks. "I know that- something is going on!" She blurts. "There's just no way that us students would be allowed to continue our work studies after so much concerning the League of Villains has happened. That Nomu in Fukuoka, what happened in Deika City, Nabu Island." Kira forces herself to remain poised, losing her temper will get her nowhere. "What's going on, sir?"
Aizawa ponders on her declaration, on her question. "You both need to get a handle on your Quirks and your capabilities," he tells them, keeping quiet about the truth, but she'll heed his warning.
"Whatever's happening," Kira adds. "I think it may have something to do with my father-"
"Kiriya," Aizawa warns, telling her to keep her mouth shut in front of Shinso, but she trusts him, even though the potential of a traitor still lurks.
"I haven't seen him in... forever," she ignores him. "He could be dead for all I know." She pauses, swallowing her sadness thickly. "With all of this happening at once, it feels like something's coming."
Aizawa looks between his students, his eyes tired and foreboding. "You'd both better head back to your dorms."
Kira and Shinso share a worried glance, promising to continue this training again soon, despite Aizawa's chilling warning, as they leave the training ground and go their separate ways to their dormitories.
She finds her feet moving faster, urging herself to reach the dorms, her home. Kira doesn't care what kind of mood Bakugou's in - she's going to voice her apology to him now, even if she simply blurts it out in his face. Kira zips up the steps to the dorms and barges in through the front doors. Some of her classmates are still up, chatting happily in the living room, while music plays a comforting tune. A few of her friends turn to her sudden entrance and Kira locks eyes with them.
"Where is he?" She asks them.
They know who she means.
"He's... upstairs," Kirishima is the one to reply. "In his room." He stands slowly from the sofa. "Are you okay? I can go and get him, if you want."
"No," she says, her breathing heavy with her determination. "That's okay."
She marches past them, aiming for the lift, but Kirishima's voice from the sofa halts her. "I wouldn't go see him right now," he tells her. "He's been in a bad mood all day, so I don't want him to say something he'll regret."
Kira sighs and looks to him, his eyes wide with concern. He was the one to confront her after her heated argument with Bakugou, the one to calm her down, so of course he's going to feel this way.
"Don't worry," she reassures. "There's nothing he can say that will hurt me. Not anymore."
Before anyone else can chip in to their quick discussion, Kira jogs over to the lift, repeatedly pressing the button. The lift dings, carries her to the fourth floor, then drops her off. As the doors open, she stands there, wondering how to phrase her apology, how to make it as heartfelt and meaningful as his. She steps out before she changes her mind, knowing she has to take this next step, or she'll never get anywhere.
Bakugou's room is just to the right, closed and brimming with mysterious feelings. She forces her legs to move, one foot in front of the other. Kira finds herself standing before his door, the frame towering over her. She looks at his name plaque on the wall beside the door handle and she turns to look at her own room, directly opposite. Is this why Bakugou stands outside her door sometimes? Is he searching for the right words to say and when they don't come, he leaves?
Kira turns back to his door and knocks.
"What?" His gruff muffled voice speaks.
"It's- It's me," she replies, leaning closer to his door, as if that would help him hear her better.
There's a pause, then his voice again, a little clearer, as if he's moved closer. "What do you want?"
"You know what I want," she says, stepping back and spinning on her heel. "I want to finish our conversation from yesterday," she raises her voice slightly, as her back is now turned.
"Well, I don't," he remarks. "So, go away."
Kira scoffs slightly - she's expecting his dismissive response, so she turns back to his room. "It's only fair you let me say what I need to say," she adds, her forehead nearly leaning on his door. "After you practically ambushed me on that beach."
There's a scuffle from inside his room and Kira quickly takes a step back, ready for the retort. "Well, if you don't want that from me" - his door opens so quickly, that a gust of wind brushes her hair across her face - "then, you can forget you ever heard it."
Kira chuckles lightly. "Now, that got you to open the door, didn't it?"
Bakugou looks at his door, like he hasn't even recollected his movements and his body sags in defeat. She can't see his room from this angle, his chest blocking the way, but it looks dark inside, as if he's trying to get some sleep. Kira tries not to let guilt sway her decision, as Bakugou glares down at her, his expression slack with remnants of sleep. Bakugou groans in annoyance and exhaustion, before stepping away from the door, leaving it open, as if allowing her to enter.
"I can... come in?" She wonders.
"Before I change my mind," he grumbles, battling away sleep.
Kira tentatively steps inside, looking around his dark room. She takes in her surroundings as Bakugou switches on a light by his bed. His desk is the first thing she sees, large with dozens of papers and textbooks sprawled across it. He's been studying hard, it seems. He has weights in the corner, though they look untouched. He has a normal dresser, but he hasn't got much detailing to his room, no noticeable personality. But, to her, that is Bakugou's personality.
He sits down on his unmade bed, the sheets scooped aside like he just got out of it. His sleepy eyes bore into her and Kira approaches his bedside table, noticing two shiny collectible cards beside the lamp. Her fingers reach out, but she doesn't touch them, pulling her hand away at the last second to address Bakugou.
His room is just how she imagined... but also not. It looks like him, smells like him. It feels like him.
"This better be good," he mutters, perched on the edge of his bed in black bottoms and a black sleeveless top.
"I didn't mean to surprise you," she starts. "I just had to-"
"Do I look surprised?" He retorts, cutting her off already.
Kira sighs and examines him again. Kirishima warned her about his attitude, but she can handle some grouchy responses.
"No," she says. "You look tired."
"I am tired," he replies. "So, hurry up, already."
Kira opens her mouth to blurt her apology, to have it over and done with, but she falters, sighing again. "I'm a hypocrite, Bakugou," she tells him and he looks up slowly, his drowsy eyes checking her out. "I've said things to you that I regret. I've spoken certain truths that make me hate myself. I've made mistakes. You know that better than anyone."
He keeps quiet, watching her intensely, letting her confess her wrongs.
"I don't want you to hate me for the things that I've said and done," Kira continues. "I can take it from everyone else, but not you. So, I don't know what it is you feel for me, but I'd never be able to face you if I found out it was contempt."
Kira looks back down at the All Might collectible cards on his side and her heart swells at the gift she gave him. "I'm sorry too, Bakugou," she whispers. "I should have said it back straight away, but I'm a coward."
Bakugou's eyes scan Kira, her clothes torn at the sleeves, due to her Atomic Power, her eyes narrowed as she pleads for his forgiveness. He slowly stands from his bed in response, his bed creaking as he does. His tall frame blocks out most of the light from his lamp as he takes two simple steps towards her. Kira's mouth goes dry as he towers before her. Has he grown? How did she not notice?
Bakugou looks down at her arms and his hand grips her wrist, gently raising it to her eye-level. He brushes her singed uniform down her arm, revealing her skin, bruised from her session with Shinso. How did he even see these slight wounds, hidden behind her clothing? He doesn't say anything, but his bright eyes analyse her skin, sending shivers down her spine. His touch is unusually gentle, careful. It's only a bruise - it'll heal, especially with her second Quirk.
"Shinso's gotten really good," she explains, feeling like she has to explain. "I don't know what happened to him over New Year's but, he's gotten stronger and faster-"
"I really don't want to hear about that extra right now," he interrupts, his tone low with warning.
Kira closes her mouth immediately, as Bakugou finally releases her arm. She brushes her sleeve back over her arm. "You know I'll heal any way," she murmurs, on the verge of pouting.
"Did it hurt?" He questions.
"This?" She tilts her head, gesturing to her forearms. "Yeah, of course. You think if I abandoned my training with Shinso and started sparring with you again, I wouldn't get hurt?" She asks. "The last time I did, I broke my hand."
"That was your own fault," he responds quickly.
Kira decides to ignore that last statement. "You have nothing to add about what I said?"
"Yeah." He nods. "You should have said it back straight away."
She feels a tickle of humour grace her lips, so Kira turns her head away, not wanting to grant him the response.
"And..." he says slowly. "I don't hate you."
That inkling of humour is snatched away, her head turning back to Bakugou, his features hidden from her by the poor lighting, his body shielding the source of illumination. His eyes remain true, her constant origin for all sense of existing. She can stare at him forever and ever, if that were at all possible.
"You don't?" Her meek voice manages to say.
He doesn't reply, but his hand raises again, his shoulder muscles giving his intentions away. His fingers hesitate by her face and it looks like he's about to caress her cheek, or fiddle with her hair, but his expression twists into one of irresolution and his hand raises above her eye line. She relaxes when their skin fails to make contact and wonders if she should be the one to make a move. Why is it up to him?
Her fingers fidget, ready to take his place in this precarious situation, when his hand drops back down, landing on the top of her head heavily. Her eyes widen at this gesture, at the sudden contact and her hand stops moving with its own plan in mind. She wants to look up, to see his face, at what his eyes might be telling her, but this motion of his keeps her eyes locked on his midsection. His hand ruffles her hair ever so slightly and she remains speechless.
His next words cause her to freeze, his voice holding such tenderness that she feels like she could stay in this position forever, if it means being trapped in this intimacy.
"Do you think I'd drop my walls like this for just anyone?"
~~~