~~~
Tomorrow was the day of the school festival. The annoying details have finally been straightened out and the class were pretty much ready to perform. They were all gathered in the hall where the live event will be played, practising their routine late in the evening. The dance team were listening to Mina's every command, performing the dance diligently as Kira watched from where the audience would be standing tomorrow, her feet tapping against one another to the beat as she sat beside Sero.
"We'll have to clear out of the gym soon!" Kirishima reminds everyone. "But, we should have enough time for one more run through!"
There were no instruments on the stage, but the music team were here too, perched on the stage with the rest of the dance team.
"You heard him!" Mina orders the other exhausted students. "One more time! And a one, and a two..."
Bakugou grumbled his annoyance at having to repeat his movements. With him being on the drums, he doesn't participate in any of the dancing, but that means he still has to take part in the routine as a whole. He's lacking patience for the other hardworking students. Instead, he again takes a seat where the drums would be positioned on the stage, as Momo, Kaminari, Tokoyami and Kyoka joined him towards the back of the stage. Kyoka hummed lightly, clapping and tapping the beat of her song, as the dance team started their routine from the beginning for the thousandth time.
"Okay, then after that bit," Mina was saying, gesturing to the middle of the stage. "Aoyama then goes here, while Midoriya books it off stage."
"I was scared we were gonna seem like amateurs," Sero mutters, as Mina continues to take control of the situation on the stage. "But things are looking good."
Kira looks up from her feet straight out in front of her and up to the stage, where Mina scolds Midoriya on his lack of passion for his role. Kyoka is lecturing Bakugou on his random improvised notes during their rehearsal once again.
"The band and dance teams are stepping up their games and putting in the work," Sero adds. "Guess it helps that Ashido's a merciless coach."
"Yeah," Kirishima says softly and Kira slowly turns her head to her once beloved, the only thing separating them being Sero. "Dancing's her thing, so she's taking it really seriously."
"You went to the same middle school as her, right?" Kira wonders, sitting up from having been leaning back on her palms and crossing her legs.
Kirishima doesn't take his eyes off Mina on the stage as she helps Iida try to relax his limbs. "I did," he replies. "Though, we didn't talk much being in different social groups."
"I see," Kira mumbles, turning her head to her classmates on the stage. "Everyone's working really hard to make sure this all goes well." She then clears her throat and starts fiddling with her shoelaces, her head down. "I think that maybe Bakugou fired everyone up with his speech and all."
"No, I think you're right," Kirishima agrees. "But, I gotta admit I'm getting a little nervous...."
Kira looks away from her shoes to offer a slither of solace. "Well, we won't be on the actual stage in front of everyone. I doubt the audience will look up." She gestures to Aoyama as he gets lifted into the air by Midoriya up high on the catwalk. "Our job is pretty simple - all we have to do is provide a bit of glitter and make it look pretty."
"I guess you're right," Kirishima mutters his reply, as they all look up at Aoyama, who seems to be enjoying himself.
Suddenly, the main doors of the school hall bursts open and pro hero Hound Dog emerges, bellowing at them all. "It's already nine o'clock! Students should've cleared out of the gym by now!"
Hound Dog watches with a furious glare as class 1A pack up their belongings and equipment with eager speediness, as no one wants to be caught under Hound Dog's ferocity. It's surprising that he's the school's guidance counsellor, but behind all that tough bravado, he actually has a loyal and direct approach to dealing with struggling youths. Sometimes when Kira finds herself in need of some opinionated response, a blunt attitude is the best solution. She nearly trips over her feet while leaving the gym when she realises the similar situation that places her in, how it still leads back to Bakugou.
When they left the gym hall, it was dark out, the stars vibrant and bright against a black background. The students were giddy with tomorrow to look forward to, proud of their recent rehearsals, with promises of a great show for the other courses to enjoy. Though whether they were asking for forgiveness, Kira isn't certain nor is she sure they even deserve it. Especially her.
Kira clutched the wrist of her right hand as she mingled with the crowd back to the dorms, the streetlights casting ominous shadows of them across the bare concrete ground. She's practised the routine with her classmates again and again, so she should have no uncertainties fogging her mind, but will her nerves best her tomorrow? Will she lose control again? Even though she's only creating a few simple balls of light to shimmer above the heads of the audience and not fighting a villain or something extreme like that. But, during the license exam, she lost control because of a few shameless kids. What does that make her?
Weak. Pathetic. Scared.
"I'm gonna stay up for a bit longer," Kaminari announces as he shoulders the dormitory doors open. "There's no way I can go to bed now!"
"Right?" Mineta joins in. "I'm just too excited!"
"I think I shall stay up as well," Iida adds, as he holds the door open for the others.
Kirishima enters, followed by Bakugou, the girls and then Kira. Iida continues to hold the door open for the others trailing behind her. The lights flicked on and the dorms felt warm and inviting, a place to hide away from the real world, as Kira's classmates flopped onto the sofa's.
"Bakugou!" Kirishima bellows, swinging an arm around his shoulders. "Even though you've worked super hard, you should stay up with us too!"
"No way, moron." He shrugs off Kirishima's limp arm. "I'm going to bed."
Kirishima watches Bakugou skulk away without even offering a simple goodnight. How could Kira fall for someone as jaded as him? Because she's seen the secret side to him - the side she claims belongs to her.
"Kira?" Mina wonders. "You staying up?"
She shakes her head. "No, I want to be ready for tomorrow."
"I'll be going as well," Momo says sadly.
"Momo!" Toru sulks.
"That's fine," Iida interrupts, raising his hands to calm the students. "It is late after all and it's perfectly understandable to be well-rested for tomorrow."
Kira heads for the lift, a few others following along with her and they catch up with Bakugou as he waits for the lift to arrive. He hears them all approach and grumbles out loud, annoyed at their presence.
"You're not all here to convince me to stay, are you?" He mutters, as the lift finally arrives at the ground floor.
"Funnily enough," Kira retorts. "Not everything is about you."
Bakugou scoffs at her reply. "What the hell is up with you?"
"I'm just tired." Kira sighs, immediately regretting her snappish response. "Been a long few weeks."
"Are you still worried about the results from the provisional exam?" Todoroki speaks up, having been one of the students deciding to turn in for the night.
Kira enters the lift with Momo beside her, separating her and Bakugou. "That's part of it," she admits.
"That's your reason?" Bakugou adds, with another harsher, judgemental scoff. "You're pathetic. We aced that stupid test."
Kira tenses at the unnecessary jibe and keeps her eyes locked on the lift doors in front of her, as they close softly. The lift judders as it starts its ascent, stopping at the second floor to allow Tokoyami off.
"Bakugou," Todoroki speaks up, being one of the students who appear unphased by his insults. "It's normal for Kiriya to be anxious. We still don't know the results yet, so we could have failed."
"Whatever, Icy-Hot!" He blurts, his hands shoved in his pockets. "We did what those brats wanted, right? We showed them who the real heroes were."
The lift paused at the third floor and Ojiro stepped out, not before giving a concerned glance back inside at the remaining four.
"Bakugou-"
"Todoroki," Kira cuts him off, turning her head to him standing at the back of the lift calmly. "Thank you, but just- don't bother trying to talk some sense into him. His arrogance won't let him see beyond himself."
"What did you say?" Bakugou rears on her, yanking his hands out of his pockets to point at her.
"Okay, that's enough of that," Momo finally speaks up, creating a see-through wall between the three of them and Bakugou. "This will have to do until your floor," she mutters almost to herself. "Frankly, it's all the energy I have right now to create this feeble thing." Momo gestures to the barrier she made and then she looks at Kira beside her. "I get you're tired - we all are - so, how are your insults helping?"
Kira crosses her arms over her chest, stubbornly. "He insulted me first," she practically sulks.
"Oh!" She barks her chuckle, her brows raised. "So, it's like that?"
"Momo..." Kira says sternly, turning her attention back to her friend, her arms still crossed.
Momo's arm lowers, as she cancels her Quirk, dropping the see-through barrier and placing it down on the floor in the lift. "I'll deal with this tomorrow morning," she tells her, gesturing to it slightly. "I believe this is your stop."
The lift dings and the doors open with a swiftness but Kira hesitates, looking down at her fingers clutching her crossed arms. She ever so slightly turns her eyes towards Bakugou standing on the other side of Momo and their eyes meet. Kira looks away immediately, feeling her cheeks flush at the connection. Bakugou is positively fuming, so Kira decides to leave first before the doors close and he follows behind, hot on her heels.
She feels his closeness behind her, but he doesn't act until the lift doors closed with that tell-tale ding and it's just them on this floor. She didn't want to be alone with him, though her heart craved for more secrecy between them. Kira grips her right wrist again, her head down and her eyes closed to try and block out Bakugou's presence.
"Seriously, what the hell is your problem!?" Bakugou insists, as Kira tries to pretend he doesn't exist. "You've been weird since the exam and I have a hard time believing what Icy-Hot said."
"You have a hard time believing that I'm worried?" Kira scoffs, her voice quiet, as she keeps her back to him.
She can feel how intense he is, how enraged he is and she wishes he would leave now, leave her to her thoughts. Her grip on her own wrist tightens as he continues to push and Kira feels her walls constricting, her mind foggy with her overwhelming desires. Go away - she wants to tell him. Go away and leave her to her doubts.
"Not about the exam," he says, his tone harsh behind her. Kira pushes his words away, out of the confines of the dormitory and heads for her room. "Hey!" He calls to her still. "Don't just ignore me!"
He steps in front of Kira, blocking her path to her room, merely an arms reach away. "Bakugou..." Kira trails off, her eyes cast down, staring at her door behind his legs. "We can talk about this another day when we're no longer exhausted."
"No." He shakes his head stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest and Kira finally, slowly looks up, still gripping her own wrist, as if seeking solace in that touch. "Something's different," he states. "I want to know what it is."
Kira frowns up at her classmate. "Why?"
"Are you dumb?" Bakugou retaliates. "Or are you just forgetful?" He says, but doesn't offer an explanation.
"Wh-?" Kira just shakes her head. It's impossible to understand Bakugou's logic. "After what happened at the exam," she decides to tell him, wanting this conversation over. "What nearly happened... I don't wanna waste my time with this anymore" - she gestures to the dorms around her, though she meant the upcoming festival - "I wanna work hard to fight my Quirk."
"Fight your Quirk?" Bakugou repeats, returning her frown.
She nods. "Yeah. I guess I'm-" she hesitates, her voice wavering beyond her control. "I'm scared. Scared of what has happened, what might happen."
"That-" Bakugou says sternly. "That is the dumbest excuse I have ever heard."
Kira's shock must be evident across her face because Bakugou groans irritably, taking a step closer to her with such briskness that she nearly backs away from him. But, she doesn't.
"You're scared?" He nearly scoffs, looking down at her, but his eyes are missing that rage from a few minutes ago, replaced by sheer determination and truth. "Then- then do something about it!" He blurts, gesturing in the air with his arms. "Were you waiting for someone to tell you to get off your ass and change? If you think you're weak, then that's what you are. You get it?"
All Kira can do is blink. She isn't sure if she should be offended or heed his wisdom. After all, he speaks the truth with such certainty that it makes her question herself and her will, her strength. No one is as level-headed and also as stubborn as Bakugou.
"This wouldn't even be a problem, if you wouldn't make one out of it," he adds, shrugging as if her issue with her Quirk is no big deal.
"Right," Kira replies, with a hint of sarcasm. "Yes, because you're so great."
"It's obvious that I'm better than you," Bakugou says quickly. "I'm smarter than you and I'm stronger than you."
Kira simply narrows her eyes at him, still blocking her exit. "Do you even listen to yourself?" She scoffs, finally letting go of her own wrist, a trickle of anger and frustration bubbling from her tiredness. "You never change, do you?" Kira says, fighting the urge to hit him, just something to get rid of this never-ending struggle. "You never fucking change!" She raises both her arms, her hand balled into fists, ready to vent some anger out, but she stops herself, knowing that Bakugou will just retaliate in a much worse state. Instead, she slowly breathes out, lowering her hands and staring up at him. "Always so stubborn; always thinking you're right."
When he doesn't speak up, doesn't defend himself, Kira's guilt wells up tight in her gut and Kira wanted nothing more than to retract her words, than to just push Bakugou aside and erase the last few minutes from memory. Her bedroom is her only sanctuary, the only place where she can truly feel safe and hidden away from her problems, away from Bakugou, his presence being the main source of all her conflictions.
"I'm..." She trails off, her voice quiet and uncertain. "I'm going to leave now, before I say something else I'm going to regret."
She goes to slide past him to reach her door, when he speaks up again, catching her off guard. "So, now I'm the one at fault?"
"No." Kira shakes her head quickly. "That's not what I'm saying-"
"Well, it sure sounds like it," he says eerily calm, too calm for him.
"I-I don't want to argue about this anymore," Kira adds, sensing Bakugou's change in nature, his frozen body, his low tone reeking with madness.
"Don't wanna argue?" He mocks, his head down, his eyes hidden from her. "Don't you dare go pinning the blame on me."
Bakugou moves so that he's preventing her from escaping this haunting situation and Kira actually finds herself backing away from Bakugou, feeling his rage seeping from his pores. Not once has Kira allowed herself to fear him just because of his unpredictable personality, but this type of anger is something different, as if her words insulted him deep to his core, his very well-being.
"Calm down," Kira urges, her hands raised ever so slightly.
That only seems to enrage Bakugou further. "Don't tell me to fucking calm down. Why does anything I say never get through your thick skull, huh?"
Kira feels her nose itch and her vision start to blur at Bakugou's tone, his true nature. She's seen such a different side to him, that this - this just feels unnatural, like this isn't even really him. Is this how he acts with everyone else usually? If it is, it's no wonder why the girls didn't believe her when she said she's seen a special side to Bakugou.
Kira continues to keep her distance, stepping back slowly, her eyes locked on Bakugou, at his unfathomable and confusing rage. What did she even say to make him lash out like this? To make him react so rashly and so unlike how he is around her usually? That he's never changed? Is that something he was trying to do with such vigour and Kira so carelessly swept his progress under the rug?
Is all this her fault? Again?
"Don't give me that fucking look," he adds, shaking his head. "Like you're regretting it all. Like you said you regretted leaping after me like some stupid hero!" Kira widens her eyes, reminiscing on her words - should she never had said that to him out loud? "You've been right all along, you know?" He continues. "It's all been your fault: the reason why I couldn't escape those damn villains; the reason why All Might had to retire. I'm certain it's your fault your 'father' had to leave in the first place. And Light Bringer..." he trails off. "You were too... damn... stupid to realise that that was a villain the whole time! Remember those civilians you got killed too," he mentions, speaking quietly as if he might wake up some sleeping classmates, even though they're alone on this floor.
"Baku-"
"Also your fault," he cuts her off harshly. "It seems you're incapable of controlling your Quirks and getting other people hurt in the process. I mean, how many times have I stepped in to stop you from getting yourself killed!?" He gestures to his chest, his fingers tapping his shirt so hard that he leaves marks. "You're useless," he says, his voice quiet again. "You're never going to become a pro hero because you always seem to make the same mistakes over and over again."
He stands there, heaving from his rant and Kira can finally see his eyes, bloodshot and teary-eyed. From his lack of breath? From his speech? From the truth? Kira's backed up so far that she's reached the other end of the hall, her back against Bakugou's door. Tears soak her cheeks, her eyes wide, staring at someone she doesn't even recognise. She feels herself shaking, drowning in his words, the venom laced in his meaning. Every tone he spoke, every word, every syllable was the painfully blunt truth of her past year in a nutshell. But, it hurt more than she wanted to admit, though she's certain the look on her face was enough to assure Bakugou of her pain.
Kira looks down, licking her parched lips, her throat dry. "I'm glad I finally get to see who you really are, Bakugou," she says, her voice croaky as she sniffs back her heartbreak. "I hate you. I hate you more than the League of Villains. I hate you more than I could ever imagine."
"Good," Bakugou says without hesitation and Kira has to look up again, her curiosity unwavering. "Because I've hated the way you've been looking at me the past few weeks."
Kira's eyes widen at his response. So, he did notice her behaviour, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. He hated the way she acknowledged him, the way she admired him, the way she loved him.
Her heart shatters there and then, out there on Bakugou's doorstep, left behind like a reminder of this tragic day. She shakes her head, more tears threatening to swarm her and so she barges past him, sprinting for her door, storming her way in and slamming the door behind her. How will she be able to leave her room without seeing her heart sprinkled on the floor like forgotten crumbs?
Bakugou's hoodie lies folded on her bed - she's been wearing it to sleep every day since the girls found out about her feelings and now it's mocking her, calling her foolish for falling too deep for someone like Katsuki Bakugou. Kira feels like screaming. She grabs the hoodie from her bed and her arms instantly alight, illuminating her room in a blinding white and the clothing incinerates in her grip, the fabric peeling away before her very eyes and drifting to the floor in pieces. Just like her trust. Just like her heart.
Kira feels like she could burn the whole dormitory down if she really wanted to, her arms still glowing white, her skin burning. She's pacing her dorm room. Her broken heart is beating twice as fast as it should. Her insides are begging for a taste of destruction, a way to rid herself from this agony. Bakugou hates her and she hates him. It's that simple. After everything they've been through, this is the conclusion they've come to.
She could march over to his room now and burn the place down around him. The villains have it so easy, just being able to do whatever it is they want to do. No - the second she starts thinking like a villain, is when she's really screwed up. But, what can she do to calm her embarrassment, her rage? How does she stop her Quirk from consuming her right now? She looks down at her arms, still stark white and bubbling with her emotions, her blood feeling like it's on fire. She wanted to kick something, burn something else to ash.
A knock at her door made her stop pacing. It was probably the girls wanting to check up on her again. Kira kicked the remains of Bakugou's belongings under her bed and ran out onto her balcony, her arms still aglow.
"Akira?"
Her eyes widen at the kind tone, the warmth, the gentleness and she nearly cries out all over again. She hears her dorm room door open, hiding in the corner of the balcony, hoping her wafting curtain will shield her from view.
"I'm outside!" She calls out to Kirishima. "But, don't come out here!"
"Why?" He replies, his voice getting louder as he approaches. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" She shouts back. "Just- stay inside. I'll be there in a moment."
Kirishima ignores her pleads and finds her on the balcony and his face drops, not at her Quirk being active, he doesn't even look down, doesn't take his eyes off hers.
"No!" Kira leans away. "Don't touch me!" She begs, already being the cause of so much pain in her life.
Kirishima ignores her and gently touches the side of her face, his cold skin causing her to gasp as she meets his eyes, red like Bakugou's, but compassionate, completely opposite to what she just experienced. How did it ever go wrong between them?
"What are you doing here?" Kira wonders.
"Actually," he says sheepishly. "I got a text from Todoroki. He said things got 'weird' in the lift and that I should come and check up on you." He looks down at Kira's arms briefly. "Seems like he was right." He removes his hand from her cheek, looking down at it. "Wow, you're... really hot right now."
He hesitates, before shaking his head, as if he's questioning himself and grabs Kira's burning hands.
"Wait! Kirishima!" She tries to tug her hands free, but he activates his Quirk, hardening his hands around her. "Please-"
"If you don't want to hurt me, then don't," he says, wincing against the pain.
She didn't want to hear that - it sounded too much like what Bakugou said earlier.
"Then- then do something about it! Were you waiting for someone to tell you to get off your ass and change? If you think you're weak, then that's what you are. You get it?"
"Just stop," Kirishima speaks up, gritting his teeth. "Just stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about what caused it to happen."
"How- how am I supposed to do that?"
"I don't know." Kirishima shakes his head. "But, you've controlled it once before. You can do it again."
"You remembered the final exams?"
Kirishima scoffs. "Of course I did. I remember everything that you do."
He remembers things too. So alike Bakugou and yet so different. Her heart ached. "I've made so many mistakes. I-I can't do anything right."
"Hey, just look at me," Kirishima beckons and she turns her eyes back to his warmth. "Breathe."
Kira pulls her mind away from anything Bakugou-related, wiping out the last few months of being by his side, erasing their time spent together in the alternate reality, ignoring the few sentimental conversations they've shared and focused her mind on Kirishima. His fragility, his devotion, his benevolence.
She remembers when they first met, how different he was then. She remembers when Kirishima dragged her through the shopping centre to escape the girls so they could be alone together, or when they just lay down on the dormitory rooftop and counted the stars until Kira drifted off to sleep. She was so content and sure with Kirishima as her beloved - how could she ruin it all by ignoring his needs with her naïve selfishness?
"See?"
Kira forces her eyes to open and notices her arms are no longer glowing. She's ruined her gym shirt, but that's the least of her worries. Kirishima cancels his Quirk and winces as he releases her. Guilt swarms her and she grabs Kirishima by the wrists, noticing the redness of his skin. It doesn't look as bad as other times she's burnt people, though.
"It would have been worse without my Quirk," Kirishima explains. "This is nothing a little cold water won't fix."
"Kirishima," she says slowly. "Don't do that again. If I was unable to stop-"
Kira can't even finish her sentence before choking up into cries that rack her whole body. The thought of losing Kirishima hurt too much.
"No." Kirishima grabs her face in his hands and she can feel the heat of her Quirk on his palms. "Please don't cry. I don't want to see you cry."
"Kirishima," she manages to say between sobs. "If you don't hug me right now, I think I'm going to fall apart."
He doesn't even hesitate and Kira buries her face into his neck, letting herself cry out into his skin, gripping onto his shirt with a desperation to be rid of this world. His hands wrap around her body, resting on her back, gripping her so tight it feels like she may snap in two.
"Just- just let it out," Kirishima whispers. "Holding it all in doesn't help, you know?"
Kira nods into his neck, before forcing herself to pull away, rubbing her eyes with her palms. "Thank you," she croaks out. "I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't come to check up on me."
"Akira." He reaches out tentatively, his hand hesitating before he brushes a strand of hair from her eyes. "You look..." He sighs heavily. "What happened? All I know from what Todoroki said is that you and Bakugou were arguing. Did- did he make you feel this way?"
Kira's first thought was to defend him, her mouth open, when she falters, changing her thoughts. "Yeah." She nods slightly and Kirishima looks like he's going to explode. "But, before you talk his ear off, everything he said... was true."
"I don't care if it was true or not," Kirishima argues. "You're strong enough not to be deterred by Bakugou and his ways. So, if what he said or did made you - well - made you look like this" - he gestures to her face and arms - "then he was completely in the wrong. Hasn't the provisional license exam taught him anything?"
Kira just sighs, a cool wind drying her tears. "I really don't want to talk about him anymore," she says. "Not tonight."
"Fine," Kirishima agrees. "We're all tired. The last thing I want to do is upset you again."
Kirishima glares at the trees beside them, waving in the wind, his hand gripping the banister with so much ferocity, she's surprised there's no indent already.
"What have I done, Eijiro?" She whispers and his features soften at the sound of his name. "I just-" She sighs again. "I just wish we could go back to before. Back to when we were happy together."
He slowly turns his head back to her, his hand never leaving the banister. "Trust me," he says. "I would love you if I could. I'm just... not ready. Not after everything that's happened."
"I know."
"Just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I won't love you."
Kira tilts her head at his words. "As friends?"
Kirishima nods almost sadly. "As friends."
~~~