Remember When ↠ l.p.

Promise of things to come

"What are we going to do?" I hiss in an angry whisper. "What if we can't find proof he's unfit for custody and it's just his word against mine? What if we have to go to court and we're not ready to fight him? What if they listen and believe him?" My voice is getting louder and higher pitched with each sentence. I can't loose Cailyn to Hector. She's what made me realize I had to get away from him the first time. She was worth protecting and I knew that I couldn't live with myself if he were ever to hurt her. She drove me to escape from him and helped me to see how harmful he had been to me and my mental health. She was what woke me up from my complacency and my fear of Hector. She's my daughter, I'll fight like hell for her, but what if it's not enough? What if he uses my past against me and we're not able to disprove him?

I can't bear to loose her.

She's not all that I have, I have my friends and parents, but she's always been what drove me and gave me hope. Loosing her would hurt me more than Hector's words and manipulation ever did. I cling to Liam's arms as I my legs start to tremble. 

"Liam, I can't loose her. Please don't let him take her away!" I collapse into his chest as he holds me up, my heels lifting off the ground an inch or two. As well as I thought that I was dealing with this custody battle, it appears I've again pushed away my fears until they've come up suddenly and overwhelmed me. The crying leaves me choking on sobs and snot dribbling down to my lip to mingle with tears. I try to stand on my own again, still leaning quite heavily on Liam, as I push loose strands of hair out of my face and wipe at my tearstained cheeks.

"I don't want to loose her either, Izzy" he gathers both of my hands in his and holds them close to his chest, rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles gently. "and I promise you that I will do everything in my power to stop him from gaining custody over him." He gazes into my eyes, full of intensity and determination. "But I don't think that we will loose even if we don't find every piece of incriminating evidence to use against him."

"Why is that?" I sniffle and inhale deeply through my mouth. I can guess what Liam is leading towards, but I can't believe it fully. He's going to say that I'm a good mom and anyone could see it and the judge or jury will believe me over Hector. But how can that be true when I have solid proof I was emotionally unstable and depressed and sought help. True, I've not done anything else that would make a court frown upon my side of the story, but all I can pin (solidly) onto Hector is that I think he is responsible for emotional and sometimes verbal abuse. And even with the photos and testimonies from my parents, will that truly be enough? I never completed the restraining order I was going to get against him. What if the story is spun to make it seem like I imagined it in my emotional confusion?

"Hey now," Liam says gently, squeezing my now trembling hands. "Stop jumping to conclusions in here," he taps my forehead "and listen to me. Ok?"

I nod and take another deep breath. This time I block out the pounding worries and fears and focus solely on Liam.

"Alone, it would just be your word against his and who knows what would happen in that courtroom. But you're not alone and you never have been Isabella. We're all here for you. We will work as hard as we can to protect Cailyn from Hector. We will give our testimonies and it will our word against his. That's what, five to one against Hector." He smiles down at me encouragingly. "That's a lot of hands to be looking for leads in Australia, that's someone with you and the girls at all times, and let's not forget that Colin is an amazing lawyer. He will do a great job representing you and who knows who Hector has, right? I'm pretty sure that Colin is the best in the area, and we have him on our side. Doesn't that make things look a little brighter?"

"I guess," I nod and try to smile a little. It does honestly make me feel better and so does have Liam to lean on and encourage me. It doesn't drive away my fears completely, but it helps. I don't know where I would without him, my parents, and Louis and Harry. They are doing so much for me and I only hope I can make it up to them someday. I doubt I'll ever be able to pay them back for their support, because to me it's invaluable. I lean forward and hug Liam as tightly as I can, my hands just within reach of each other on his broad back. "Thank you," I whisper "you help more than you'll ever know." I pull back and kiss his cheek. "I'm scared out of my mind that I'll loose Cailyn or that everything will be destroyed by Hector, which is silly-"

"No, he ruined your life the last time he was with you, so to me it's not silly to be afraid that he'll do it again." Liam shushes me and pulls in for another hug. "I know your scared, I am too, but we're going to make it through this and afterword we'll all be fine."

"Promise?" I ask, a slight tremor audible in my voice. Even if I don't completely believe we'll have a happily ever after, I want to very badly.

"I promise." Liam says as he presses a kiss into the top of my head. 

I kind of have an ending...it's just a matter of getting there. I'll aim for the end of this month or sometime in April. And then I suppose I'll edit it slowly through the rest of the year :)