Remember When ↠ l.p.

What's in a name?

Less than an hour later I've just finished putting the girls to bed, Cailyn hadn't lasted long. She fell asleep on me soon after we started the movie and Tessie's eyes started drooping not fifteen minutes later. I reenter the living room and find Louis looking at something on his phone while sitting on the couch. "Everything alright?" I ask, figuring that he's chatting with Harry or something. He's not on his phone for much else these days.

He sighs and shakes his head. "He's having a strop about some papers that arrived in the mail today. Some legal loopholes we must," he rolls his eyes "jump through and they're making him lose sleep and shit." he shuts off his phone and rubs his palms over his eyes. "I just wish I could make it all go away. I've got too much going on right now, trying to deal with this from so far away and being mostly unsuccessful with Liam. It's driving me mad."

I frown and rub his shoulder. I could tell the stress had been getting to him. He had circles growing darker beneath his eyes from early morning chats with Harry on the phone. His face bears several days growth of stubble and I don't think he's changed his jeans in a few days."You'll be back with Harry soon. If you don't come back, I'm sure we can manage here well enough."

"I don't want well enough. I just wish everything would start getting done for once." he leans over so I can massage his shoulders, rubbing my hands in circular motions over them. "I honestly can't promise I will be coming back through, Izzy. I want to, dammit, you know I want to...but this whole adoption thing is becoming too much of a problem even with whatever lawyer or agent we've hired. They don't seem to be doing shit because Harry is calling me several times a day with a new problem each time."

"Everything will be fine in the end. You two will get everything straightened out and you'll get the baby girl or boy that you've been waiting for." I reassure him. They'll both make good fathers. I've been able to watch Louis with the girls, he loves them and they love him and think he can do no wrong. He's going to adore and spoil his child. And everyone can tell Harry is going be great, he's wanted a baby for ages. He hasn't hidden the fact at all, fawning over pregnant women and be absolutely adorable with little children. I figure he'll probably take on the mum role, but what's wrong with that if he wants to? I can just picture them, Louis trying to sneak the toddler sweets and Harry running around armed with a carrot or something.

"We have been waiting, I just hope it works out before the babe is born. We haven't really gotten to discuss names," Louis admits, a little guiltily. "I've thought about it a little, I don't know if Harry has." He twists around so we're facing each other and I let my hands fall to my lap. "Did you and your mister discuss it right away? I mean before he left and whatnot...if you're fine talking about it. If you're not then just forget I brought it up, love."

"No, no," I wave away his concern hurriedly. "I have been doing better about it, remember. Mom keeps saying that the more I talk about it aloud with other people and more people, the easier it will become." I pause and think back too over five years ago when all Cailyn was yet was a bump in my belly and a rough black and white picture from the doctors and the sonogram. "We did discuss it, not as much as I would have liked, honestly. I thought about it a lot, trying to picture myself with this little girl and she would be playing or running around and I'd try to imagine myself calling and calling to her with whatever name I'd been thinking about at the time. When her due date was closer we discussed it for about an hour, it wasn't very pleasant as neither of us could really agree on anything." I laugh. It was one of the only times that we had argued that didn't scare me. Cailyn was always my key to standing up and escaping him. I just wish I had seen it sooner, I would have escaped so much damage. "But by the end of the discussion we had settled on two names, one from each of us. So we decided that one would be the middle name."

"So which name was your idea? Cailyn?" Louis leans forward, listening intently. It's little strange to see him so serious. I mean, he gives off a carefree attitude that I know is almost a show. One time I was sure he wasn't listening to me, I was rambling, and yet the next day he brought up something I had said. It surprised me, but when I really thought about it, he does listen very well. He watches and notices things.

"Yes, Cailyn was my choice. We didn't decide right away whose name should be first though, we tried saying both names one way and then the other. I personally thought having Cailyn first sounded better. He wasn't too convinced, I think it was partially his stubborness though." I sigh and shake my head. Every little decision he had to make and control for me. "We decided that when we saw her we would choose. I don't know if he finally just gave up or if he honestly did change his mind or something, but when the time came she was Cailyn Rebecca Sandoval."

"That's a beautiful name." Louis murmur, a smile breaking across his face. He gets a glazed look in his eyes, no doubt imagining what it will be like to have his own child and naming it with Harry.

"Thank you." I reply with matching smile. We sit there in silence for the next half hour, I pull out the book I'm currently reading and Louis sits there with his eyes shut and hands folded on his stomach. I almost would have thought he was asleep, but every now and then his breath will hitch and increase and smile will sneak onto his face.