Remember When ↠ l.p.

The past is in the Past

By the time Louis returns to the dining room to finish his dinner I've cleaned the table of everything put his plate and I've settled Cailyn in the living room watching a cartoon. He walks in at a moderate pace and sits down without a word. I'd reheated his plate a few minutes ago and left it in the microwave. I place it in front of him and start making myself a cup of coffee. A few minutes later I'm sitting across from him, scrolling through my phone notifications. I figure he must be hungry, he was on the phone for a while and he'd only half finished his meal. I glance up and find him watching me as he eats. I shut off my phone and put it down. I sip my coffee and stare back at him. He smirks and takes another bite, taking his time. "I told Colin about what I could. I didn't tell him all the details but he understands the gist of things. He said it would have been much more helpful if we had told him earlier but he didn't think it would cause much harm..."

"I sense a 'but' coming." I frown as I blow on my coffee a little before taking another sip.

"Yes, there is one. He said there's a chance they'll have to get you evaluated, much like we had him evaluate Liam under the pretense of a security guard. So you might have to go in to see a shrink and talk to him. If he gives you the all clear you'll be fine and everything will work out smoothly. Colin doubts you'll have any trouble."

"But you said that since we were trying to get Tessie out of a home that is having mental issues with changing personalities, to put her into the care of someone who has had psychological demons wouldn't be, I don't know, allowed?"

"From what I understand," Louis says, scratching the stubble on his chin, "is that your situation is different then Liam's. Yes it's both mental, but it's different sorts see?"

"What you mean because mine ranges more on the depression and self-esteem side of things while his is focused on his personality and the way he acts?"

"Exactly. While there are still dangers with depression and self-esteem, there isn't a danger of you harming Tessie like Liam might. He would do so unknowingly, of course, but it would still be done. So, Colin figures that as long as your shrink visit comes back positive...or negative, whatever, then it's all fine."

"Yeah?" I exhale slowly, having gotten a little worked up. "I was afraid that my past would have caused another set of problems."

Louis reaches across the table and pats my hand. "Not this time, as far as I'm concerned you're mentally stable and seem to handle things normally. Everything will be fine." he taps his fingers on the table and wonders aloud. "I would maybe stop fearing your past so much, if you want to move forward with your life you have to stop letting it hold you back, right?"

"That's a good point," I murmur. Mom's been telling me the same thing, to let go and move ahead. Telling me to leave my baggage behind me, basically. But it's harder than just saying it, I've had this weight hanging over me for so long. If it were to leave overnight, with nothing to hold me down and anchor me, I'd probably fly away.