Remember When ↠ l.p.

A long afternoon

Not only was it a long day trying to keep Cailyn entertained, the seconds seemed to stretch into minutes and the minutes stretch into hours. Mother and I set up a schedule that she would text me every hour or so with an update from the rehabiliation center. Her texts came in a little sporadically at first, being a few minutes late or early, but soon were each at least an hour and a half apart. They have been short, only containing the letter k and a smiley emoji. I've texted her back several times, asking if Tessie had eaten lunch yet, if Liam was showing any signs of improvement, and if Tessie was doing fine and if she was scared at all. Her answers came back after a ten minute delay with yes or no answers.

I think I'd found every reason to hate being kept in this small room. By now it's the afternoon and I'm trying to convince Cailyn to take a nap, despite her protests that she isn't tired. I don't doubt that she isn't because she really hasn't done much of anything today. I tried to keep her as active as I could, but for the most part she just paced back and forth while watching the TV screen. "I have got to take mother's advice and make friends in the area," I think to myself "because if I'm ever in this situation again I'm going to need someone to call on." I still can't remember much from the accident. None of my memories of being brought to the hospital or waking up as I was told I did have returned either. At some point today it struck me that I don't even know if my car was damaged. From how I was told I was hit I would imagine that there is either a very large dent or it's not fit to drive anymore.

Is there anything that hasn't gone wrong? Mother and father are still healthy and well, thank goodness. The girls are still fine, although one must wonder how this all will affect them in the future. It can't be good for Tessie to have lost her mother, been uprooted and taken away from her dad, and now there's a great possibility that she'll loose him too? I add taking Tessie to a therapist (just in case) when she's a bit older to my mental list of things to do when I get out of the hospital.

"Cailyn, please mi hija," I say tiredly, "please just come lay down next to me for thirty minutes. I'll leave the TV on and turn down the volume. You can watch it while you snuggle and rest with me okay?" I plead with her, ready to make as many compromises as I can if it will just get her to lie down for a short period of time. I wasn't very tired earlier, but now I feel like I'm going to nod of at any minute. The last time Julia came in to give me my medicine she told me to expect drowsiness. Apparently my dosage was changed because some testing on my concussion came back more extreme than they originally thought. 

"I'll lay down, but not because I'm tired. Because grammy said that I gotta be nice to you because you're really sick and hurt." She makes it clear to me as she climbs up next to me. After being up and down from the bed all day she's figured out the trick to climbing up and down by herself. 

"I appreciate it," I kiss her forehead as she settles into my good side. "I'm very hurt and very tired so however much patience and kindness you can spare, I'll gladly take it!" I lower the volume on the TV and hope that she'll be a little tired and take a short nap. I feel like I could sleep for a day or two and still feel unrested, but I don't let myself drift off quite yet. I know she wouldn't leave the room and that she would wake me up if she really needed something, but I'm still wary about falling asleep just yet. I want to know that she's getting a little sleepy too.

Plus I'm still hoping desperately for a phone call. They say no news is good news, but in this case I just feel like the longer my phone is silent the more assured Liam's death is becoming.