Remember When ↠ l.p.

Mum's help

The night passes haphazardly, my slumber often interrupted by a nurse coming in to check my vitals and to ask me how many fingers she was holding up. Sometime after seven thirty I've given up on getting any more sleep and have helped into a sitting position. I stare uninterestedly at the TV for who knows how long and even try flipping through some magazines that are lying on the table beside me. Nothing helps, I'm bored out of my mind and the only thing I can think about is Liam. I know that I should be focussing on myself, but I still can't help but feel like he's more important. I mean he is more important. I'll be fine, but if he doesn't wake up (based on what the doctors have said) he'll most likely die. That's something I don't want happening. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff and there's something terrible sneaking up behind me and I'm trapped, too afraid to turn around and look to see what's coming up on me. But at the same time, too afraid to jump because surely it can't be right to jump.

I'm brought some breakfast and I try to stomach a little of it, but only manage a few bites. It's still sitting on the tray beside my bed when mother arrives. I debated calling her several times in the night and again this morning. I felt bad for they way that things ended last night. From the moment that I see her walking through the doors with the girls, I can tell that she's sorry too. She doesn't say anything, at first, just leans over and kisses my forehead. She leans back and surveys me. "I'll tell them to bring some more food for you, you need to eat more than that if you want to get better." She shakes her head at me and smiles. I know she's forgiven me.

"I'm sorry about last night. I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure and I'm not dealing with it well, I guess." I frown slightly as she waves my concern away.

"I understand, no doubt I would be just as cranky if I were stuck in this room and there was something I felt I desperately needed to do. Don't you worry, I'm taking Cailyn over there right now and we won't leave until late tonight or until he's woken up." She takes my chin in her hand and looks me straight on. "I promise that I will do everything I can. After all," she comments as she starts to walk out of the hospital room, a sleepy Tessie still held on her hip. "I doubt that you'll marry anyone else if he doesn't wake up. I can't have you being a spinster so I'll just have to go make sure he wakes up and takes you down the aisle. After that, I can die happy."

"Don't be so dramatic!" I call out after her as she exits with a wave to Cailyn and I. "Good morning mi hija," I address her as she sleepily tries to climb into my bed with me. I reach down and help her up. She snuggles into my side and for the first time since I woke up I feel relaxed. 

No matter how much my mother may say ridiculous things and obsess about finding me a husband, she keeps her word. After all this time I still trust her with an almost child-like faith that she can accomplish anything. In the same way that Cailyn trusts that I won't burn her food (a misplaced trust there, as I have burned our dinner one too many a time) or let anything hurt her, I trust that my mother will take care of waking up Liam up. I wouldn't say that I'm completely free of worry, but it feels like at least the burden isn't being carried solely by myself.