Together Forever - (Station 19 fanfic)

GRIEF

TW : Mention of death

--

Carina's POV :

"Simply, you just have to picture him very hard, and then you talk to him. You can tell him all about your days, your struggles, your breakdowns, your joy... Everything. As long as you think about him, as long as you love him, and your mama, they still live. They live in your heart." I replied, pointing to her chest.

"But he won't answer me." She pouted.

"No he won't. Or maybe he will. I don't know. And we don't need to know. You believe in what you want, in what makes you feel better. And sometimes, when you have a question, you can ask him and your mama. Even if they can't answer you directly, you may see things clearer after." I softly grinned.

"How do you know all of that ?" She suddenly asked, frowning.

I took a deep breathe, and made up my mind, I had to be honest with this sweet girl. "I know all of that because I do it often. With my mom, and sometimes with my little brother." I answered, now smiling big and tearing up at the same time, thinking of them.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"I'm sorry too."

Bianca stared at me for few seconds before jumping in my arms and totally breaking down.

"I'm here, it's okay bambina. Tua mama e tuo papa ti ameranno sempre. Saranno sempre nel tuo cuore. Imparerai a vivere senza di loro, ma saranno sempre al tuo fianco, te lo prometto. (Your mom and dad will always love you. They will always be in your heart. You will learn to live without them, eventually, but they will always be by your side, I promise.)" I comforted her.

I cried, comforted her, and cried. Until she calmed down. We stayed glued to each other until I smelled that dinner was ready.

"Bianca, I think Maya cooked for us tonight. And can I be honest with you ?" I asked her.

She pulled off the hug and frowned at me, but nodded anyway.

"Maya is... She isn't the best cook of the house." I smirked.

"What do you mean ?" The little girl demanded confused.

"I mean that I think we really need to go check quickly if she burnt down the kitchen of if she cut her fingers off." I joked and Bianca burst into laughing. She finally took my hand and we made our way to the kitchen were Maya had set the table and was filling the plates with food. When she noticed us, her face turned sad.

"Are you both okay ? You were there a long time and I heard..."

"We're fine my love." I replied, walking to her and kissing her cheek.

"A bit worried actually." Bianca stated, looking at my wife.

"Why ?"

"Carina may have told me you weren't the best cook, so we were kind of scared you would hurt yourself or ruin the kitchen." She laughed and Maya pretended to be offended.

"Well there is only one way to know if I did good. To taste it." My lover ended the conversation, sitting on a stool and patting the one between her and me for Bianca to sit on.

Bianca did so, and we started eating. I need to admit, Maya did good. Her dish was very tasty. Half way through dinner, I noticed Bianca eyes were closing and her head was threatening to fall on her half full plate.

"Bambina, you can go to sleep now if you want." I said, happy she ate at least a little.

But she shook her head.

"What is it ?" Maya now asked.

"You... You said you would stay with me until I fall asleep." She blushed.

"Of course we're going to stay sweetheart. You can go brush your teeth and put some pajamas on, there is a pair ready for you on your desk. When you're ready to go to bed, come find us."

The teen nodded and left the table.

"What happened earlier ?" Maya interrogated me.

"We were talking Italian and I asked her where did she got her accent and she confessed that her father talked Italian with her. And then she was sad she wasn't going to speak with him anymore so I explain her how I was doing it with my mama and Andrea." I said nearly in one breathe because I didn't want to cry again.

"I think she'll learn a lot from you." Maya comforted me by taking my hands in hers.

"I hope I'll be able to help her to grieve."

"You will, we will. But you also need to take care of yourself my love."

"I know." I said leaning over to kiss my wife.

"I love you."

"I love you more."