Together Forever - (Station 19 fanfic)

WORSE

TW : POTS, Self-Harm

Bianca's POV :

I wasn't feeling good at all. I was freezing even though we were at the beginning of spring. My head hurt and every muscle of my body were sore. The shower I took this morning did not help me feel better, and now I was starting to get scared of my symptoms.

I knew I wasn't eating enough lately, and it could make my POTS worst. But I was having a very bad time, with my moms especially. They were always taking care of Celeste like she was their new favorite daughter. The sadness I was feeling was nearly worst that the dizziness, which was rising with the passing hours.

I tried to rest but a pain started in my chest, and when I opened my eyes, everything was spinning around me. I tried to stand up to go drink a glass of water but my legs gave up and I fell to the ground. I tried to go back in my bed but my arms were too weak to hold me, so I just remained laying on the floor.

I managed to grab my phone and with my blurry vision it was hard to see what I was clicking on but I found my mom's contact and pressed on call.

'Hi baby girl, is everything okay ?'

"Mo- mommy..." I breathed out, not having any more strength to say anything else.

'Yes sweetheart ? Can you hear me ?'

"Mommy... I don't f- feel good."

My mom must have understood that it was serious because I only heard her opening a car door and closing it right away.

'I'm on my way Bianca. I'm gonna hang up so I can call mamma. But I'll call you back straight after. Okay ?'

"Mmmmmmh." I managed to answer.

It was getting harder to breathe. Every limb of my body was extremely painful, but less than my chest. It felt like my heart was going to stop at every beat and it was quite scary but I fought to stay conscious until mommy called back.

'It's me sweetie, it's mommy. I'm here in two minutes alright ? Mamma is on her way as well.'

I hadn't the strength to reply so I stayed silent.

'Bianca ? Bianca answer me please.'

"Mmmmmh." I mumbled.

'Okay. Good girl. Keep your eyes open for me. I'm nearly here.'

"H- hurt."

'I know honey. I know. Please stay awake. I'm stepping out of the car right now.'

I heard the front door open and mom rushed inside. She hung up the second my bedroom door opened. When she saw me, her face went from anxious to panicked.

"Oh God Bianca !" Mom screamed and ran to me. She lifted my motionless body and laid me on my bed. "What happened ??"

"I- I fell..."

"Oh my poor girl. Take a deep breath for mommy."

I tried to but it was too difficult, it felt like I was choking. And it felt like a fire was burning around my heart so I bent over and clenched my chest.

Mom shakily breathed and stroked my hair. "Mamma will be here in no time." She reassured, but mostly to herself.

In less than two minutes, my other mom entered the room. She frowned when she saw in what state I was. She was still in her scrubs, showing us that she left the hospital in a rush.

"What is happening ?" She asked seriously to my blond mom.

"She's having some sort of episode but it looks bad. I think her chest hurts, I don't know, she's barely talking."

A sudden wave of pain appeared in my chest so I gripped it tightly.

"Wow okay." Mamma sat on the other side of the bed and helped me lie back down.

"Bianca, I need you to tell me your symptoms. Precisely please. Maya, give me my medical supplies." Mamma added in her doctor's voice. Mommy handed her everything she needed to check on me.

"My ch- chest hurts and- and my arms and l- legs too. Everything hurts ma- mamma." I explained. "And my br- breath I- I can't."

"Okay bambina." Mamma said and she lifted my arm to take my blood pressure but I pulled away.

"Come on my love, let me take care of you now." She nearly begged.

"Bianca please, look at yourself. Let us help you please."

Mamma tried again to take my arm in hers and I fought but I was too weak and she was stronger so she rolled up my sleeve and slid the medical tool to the top of my arm before turning it. That's when she saw them, my cuts. They were all exposed, some of them recent, some others nearly healed.

I saw mommy frown and mamma gasped.

"Bianca, you- you did it again ?" Asked mommy shakily.

The shame of my moms noticing my self-harm stressed me out and my breathing started to get even more shallow.

"It's okay bella. We'll talk about it later. Let's focus on your POTS right now." Mamma said and gave me an apologetic look.

She took my vitals and sighed.

"What is it ?" Asked mommy, stroking my hair carefully.

"Her heart rate is too slow, her blood pressure is too low like her oxygen level." Mamma then turned towards me. "Bianca, please let us help you my baby girl."

"Mamma..." I sighed, tears in my eyes.

"Mommy will bring you some water and something to eat. And you will wear the oxygen mask until we figure something out."

I couldn't do much more than agree so mommy left and my brunette mom put the mask on my face. She caressed my face, and kissed my temple as I was trying to regulate my breathing but everything hurt. My chest, my muscles, my head, my heart... So I started crying because the pain was too much.