Half A Heart

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Niall's POV

"Come on, mate. Just stop by for a minute. It's just going to be us," Louis said through the phone. He'd been begging me to come to his house to hang out for the past few weeks. I just haven't been up to it. "I'm just not in the mood, Louis. I'm going to stay in tonight," I said, grabbing a water instead of a beer this time. Seems like I've been drinking a lot here recently.

"That's all you've been doing. It'll do you some good to get out and socialize with other people, Niall. Just come on," he urged. Was he not hearing me clearly? "I'm staying in and watching the game. I'll talk to you later." "Well if you change your mind, my door is wide open." "Thanks, man," I hung up my phone and turned it on silent. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. That's how it's been for the past three weeks.



It's not the same around here without Y/N. I'm not the same without Y/N. I never realized how much I loved her until she walked out of our- my front door. But it's all my fault. I was the one who messed it up. I thought I was being sneaky. I didn't even care about that girl. She was there in the bar and I had been drinking. I know it's not an excuse and I'm an idiot. Even when she begged me to come clean, I swore up and down I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn't know that she had seen the picture. The picture of me and, I don't even remember the girl's name, kissing outside my hotel. I decided to blame it all on her. I told her that she wasn't what I wanted, she wasn't good enough, and anything I could think of to convince myself I did nothing wrong. She was crying and I did nothing. I opened a beer as she screamed at me. She finally had enough and packed her bags and left. After she walked out, I stood in our- my room and looked at all the drawers that were pulled out. Beside the bed, was a shattered picture of us on our first anniversary. I lost everything and I couldn't blame anyone but myself.

The boys didn't help any. Y/N and Eleanor are practically joined at the hip so Louis would tell El how miserable I was and she would tell Y/N. And apparently, Y/N wasn't doing too well herself. El told Louis that Y/N would go to bed in my grey Adidas sweatshirt just because it smelled like me and that was the only way she could go to sleep. In a way, it made me feel better because I knew she was just as upset as I was. But then again, it tears me up inside that she's hurting and that I'm behind it.




I found myself sitting on my couch, scrolling through pictures of Y/N on my phone that I didn't have the heart to delete. She hasn't left my mind. Maybe Louis' right. Sitting here, alone with my thoughts isn't going to help me. I grabbed my keys off the coffee table and made my way over to Lou's.

I pulled up and made my way to the front door. It looked like Liam showed up. Maybe the other guys left earlier. I knocked on the door an Louis answered moments later. "Uh hey, Niall. I didn't think you were coming," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well I thought I'd get out tonight. I'm still invited aren't I?" I asked. "Of course, mate. It's just that, since you said you weren't coming, El invited Y/N," he whispered. "She's in there?" I asked, looking over Louis' shoulder, trying to catch a glance. "Yeah. I mean, you can come in if you want." Of course I wanted to. I needed to see her. I nodded and Louis invited me in. I walked in to see Liam sitting on the couch, he gave me a wave and I nodded at him. "She's in the kitchen with El," Louis said, patting my shoulder.

I rounded the corner and I saw her leaning forward against the counter, her back to me. She was watching Eleanor ice some cupcakes and they were laughing at some article in a magazine. God, how I missed that laugh. Eleanor looked up and jumped at the sight of me. Her eyes widened as she looked at Y/N. "Oh. Hey, Niall," she said softly. Y/N stood straight up and turned around on her heel. All the color drained from her face as she looked at me standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Hey, Eleanor. Hey, Y/N," I gulped, taking two steps into the kitchen. "W-What are you doing here? I-I thought you weren't coming," Y/N stuttered. "I thought I'd get out. I've been spending too much time at home." Y/N looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact. "I'm going to take these in the living room. You coming, Y/N?" El asked her best friend. "You go ahead. I'll be there in a minute," Y/N answered, sitting on a barstool. El nodded and gave me a sharp glance, warning me not to upset Y/N more than I already have.

I walked over and leaned against the refrigerator. "So how have you been?" I asked, looking at the beautiful girl in front of me. Even with her hair up in a ponytail, with no make up, in sweats and an oversized jumper, she was breathtaking. "Fine," she lied, "You?" She fiddled with the corners of the magazine. "Honestly?" I muttered, grabbing her attention, "Not good. Horrible even." She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and shifted in her seat. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "No you're not," she doubted, finally looking up at me. "If you were, you would've called or texted me. You don't care, Niall. You never did," she said, trying to hold back her sobs even though a few tears escaped her eyes. I wanted nothing more to reach over and wipe them away. "You're saying that I never cared about you?" I asked. "That's exactly what I'm saying. I still remember what you said that night. It plays in my head every night. I can't just-" "Forget everything that was said that night. Listen to me right now, Y/N. I love you. More than anything in this world. I didn't mean anything I said that night. I was an idiot. An a**hole. I wanted to say anything to make me feel like you were the problem. You weren't. It was me. It was all me. I know there's no excuse for what I did and I don't expect you to forgive me on the spot. All I'm asking for is another chance. These past three weeks have been a total hell, Y/N. I'm miserable and I know you haven't been fine. You've been miserable too. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm not the same without you. Without you with me, it's like I'm missing half of my heart. Please, Y/N," I pleaded, now pouring my heart out in front of her. Tears were now rushing down her face. I reached up and wiped her cheeks and she didn't pull away. "Please," I whispered, taking her face in my hands. She held my wrists and pushed them to her lap. "I don't know, Niall," she cried. "Do you still love me?" I stammered. I know I probably sounded desperate but I didn't care. I needed to hear her say it. "Of course I still love you," she replied looking into my eyes, "I just don't know if I can trust you." "Let me show you. I just need you, Y/N." She looked down at my hands in her lap. She took my hand in hers and held it tightly. She looked up at me with a look that tore my heart apart. " Promise me that you'll never hurt me. I don't think I could handle that again," she sniffled. I brought her hands up to my mouth and kissed each of her knuckles, "I swear on everything, princess." "Okay," she whispered. I helped her off the stool at took her face in my hands, kissing her passionately. When she pulled away, she nuzzled her face into my chest and I hugged her tightly. I finally felt whole again.

The End


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Hey guys!!! I decided to try writing an imagine using a One Direction song. Did you like it? I hope it turned out okay. Do you have any other One Direction songs you'd want me to write about? Feel free to comment or even kik me to let me know!

Thanks for sticking with me even though I don't post as often as I'd like to! It means a lot to me that you guys still read my crap! Hahaha!

Anyway, you guys are amazing! I love you! Xx Beth

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