Strong

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I just want to let you guys know that this imagine mentions a little bit of self harm so if you're uncomfortable reading these type of stories, you can skip this one.

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Niall's POV

"Hey, princess," I whispered into the phone, careful not to wake any of the guys up. "Hey babe! How did the show go?!" Y/N cheered. "Amazing. The crowd was insane. It couldn't have went better." "That's great, baby. Your solos go okay?" "Yeah. I was pretty nervous but I remembered what you told me and I didn't have any problems." "That's great, Niall. I'm so proud of you." "Thank you, babe. I just wish you could be here with me." "Me too. How many more days do we have?" "57." "Almost there." "It feels like a lifetime." "I know but you'll be home before you know it." "I love you." "And I love you. I'll let you get some sleep. Talk to you soon?" "Of course. Bye, princess." "Bye, babe."

God I miss her.

I hung up my phone and stared at the bottom of the bunk above me. I wish Y/N could be with me everyday. It sure would make traveling a lot easier. I miss her so much and she means the world to me. She's been there for me when I desperately needed someone.

Flashback

The show ended and I couldn't run off of that stage fast enough. I just wanted to find Y/N, get to the room, and forget everything that happened tonight. The boys came by, patted my back, and told me not to worry about it. That was easy for them to say. They sounded great. They also didn't have to worry about playing the right chords on the guitar. I didn't say a word to them. I just wanted to leave.

Y/N met up with me and the guys backstage. She hugged all the guys and told them how great they did. She came up to me and gave me a kiss before hugging me tightly. "You did great, Niall," she chirped in my ear. "Are you sure you were listening to me?" I asked. She pulled away and looked deeply into my eyes. "Yes, I was and you sounded great." "I messed it up. It was terrible." "No, it wasn't. I promise." I shook my head and she held my hand. "Niall," she began. "Lets just go," I interrupted.

We said bye to the guys and walked out to get in the car that was waiting for us. Y/N tried to talk to me but I wasn't putting effort into the conversation except for the occasional head nod or "uh huh." We pulled up in front of the hotel and I hurried us up into our room. Being alone with Y/N made me feel a little better. I changed clothes and climbed into bed. "Niall, talk to me. I can tell you're upset," Y/N said, sitting next to me on the bed. "I ruined Little Things," I uttered, turning on my side, away from Y/N. "Niall, you didn't ruin it. It sounded okay. Don't be so hard on yourself," she said, rubbing my arm. "I let people down," I whispered. She bent down and rested her head on my shoulder, "Like who?" "The fans. The guys." "No, you didn't. They love you. You didn't see what I saw. You were great." I didn't say anything. Instead, I sat there and thought about all the things that I did wrong tonight. "I'm going to go down to the lobby and get some ice and a drink. Do you need anything?" She asked. I shook my head and closed my eyes. "I'll be back in a minute," she said before kissing my cheek. I heard Y/N close the door and I sat up and reached for Y/N's laptop that was sitting on the nightstand. I logged onto twitter and typed in my name. "His voice wasn't as good as usual." "Sounded off." "Did anyone notice he messed up?" "Terrible." "He should just quit." "Katy Perry should've said no." I noticed Perez Hilton had already written something about me on his blog. I read half of it before walking into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't help but feel like what everyone was calling me. I let everyone down. The guys, fans, my family, Y/N, and myself. I hauled off and punched the mirror, shattering it. Glass flew everywhere. It was all over the floor and it covered the counter. Words like pathetic, worthless, waste of time, and talentless filled my head. I needed an escape. Something that would ease the pain of feeling like an embarrassment. I reached for a shard of glass that was in the sink. One cut. That's all. I just needed something to distract me.

"Niall? Are you in there?" Y/N called as she knocked softly on the door. I held the glass against my wrist and made a small cut. Blood trickled down the side of my wrist. I gasped as the corner of the glass went deep into the pad of my thumb. "Niall?!" Y/N yelled. I heard her rushing to the door. I take it that she saw I had been on her laptop or she heard me gasp. She stormed through the door and the look on her face almost killed me. She looked at the glass that covered the floor and saw the blood on my wrist and hand. Tears began to fall down her face and she ran to my side. She didn't say a word. She wrapped her arms around me and I began to cry into her hair. We held each other as we both sobbed. She pulled away and wiped the tears off my face. She grabbed a washcloth and placed it on my wrist. "Why?" She stammered, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. "I don't know. I didn't do it to kill myself. I just needed a distraction," I admitted, not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes. "Did this have anything to do with what you read on that stupid blog." I didn't say anything. Y/N sat me down on the edge of the tub and she lowered the toilet seat to sit down in front of me. "Niall, I want you to tell me exactly why you did this. I'm not going to judge you or argue about it. I want to understand why you felt so bad that you wanted to hurt yourself." She held both of my hands as I began to explain. "I began to wonder about what people were saying so I got on twitter. I saw people saying some stuff and they're right. I came in here and next thing I know, I'm looking for something to take my mind off of it." "What were they saying? What were they right about?" "That I was terrible, worthless. I didn't deserve this success. That I should give up." Y/N began to cry harder which made me cry. "Niall, they could not be farther from the truth. You are amazing. You're human. You're not perfect. You just got over a cold. Your voice isn't going to be spot on. And it's okay if you mess up the chords. It didn't matter to the fans. They've been counting down the days to see you. You could've sang every song in a different language and they would still love it. Those people who say awful things about you don't matter. Perez Hilton doesn't know what he's talking about. He's a gossip columnist. His job is to run his mouth. He is irrelevant to us. You are loved, Niall. By your fans, the boys, your family, and me. I love you so much. You mean the world to me. And if anything happened to you, I don't know what I would do. I don't know if I could go on." I looked at her and pulled her into my arms. She cried on my shoulder as I rubbed her back. I shushed her and she pulled away. I wiped her face and kissed her gently. "I'm sorry," I whispered, cupping her face in my hands. "You don't have to apologize. Can you please promise me something?" She mumbled. "Of course." "Before a show, take a deep breath and remember that the fans are on your side. If you mess up, don't be so hard on yourself. Things like that happen. And if you ever have bad thoughts, please talk to me. I never want you to feel like you can't talk to me about anything. I'm here for you. Can you promise me that you'll never hurt yourself again?" "I promise." "I love you." "I love you." I kissed her again knowing that I never wanted to scare her again. She pulled away and nursed my wrist before we cleaned the glass out of the floor. We walked to the bed and I closed the laptop, putting it aside and pulled Y/N to the bed with me.

Flashback Ends

Thinking back on that night, I know how blessed I am to have Y/N in my life. I know it sounds cliché to say she brings out the best in me, but I don't care. It's true. She makes me want to wake up in the morning. She makes me strong. I couldn't imagine my life without her and honestly, I don't want to because God only knows where I'd be without her.

The End


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I hope this wasn't too sad for you guys. This was a little different from my other imagines. I've never written about self harm before so I'm sorry if that part wasn't that good.

This was an idea from Breanna who has an account on here. Her name is WeWillWait. She is a wonderful writer and she's a sweetheart! She has a Harry fanfic and is currently working on a Niall story. Go check her out! She's amazing!

Thanks for the idea, Bre! I hope it lived up to what you expected! And I hope you guys liked it!

Xx Beth

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