The failed experiment (Bucky x reader)

Nightmares

You were 10 years old again, looking down the gun chamber of the man in front of you with a red octopus on his shirt collar. His teeth were yellowed, and his eyes were trained on you with malice. You had been walking home from school, when he had stepped out of an alley and pulled you in with the gun in your face.

"Scream, and give me a reason to kill you" he grinned. You were a smart kid, you knew that this wasn't a threat. More of a promise. Your eyes scanned the area for someone to help you, or something to protect yourself with. Then again, there wasn't much that could go against a gun. "Come quietly Y/N YLN. I'll allow your family to live. They live at..." he started rattling off your address, and giving you details of where your parents worked, what times they would be home at. He knew everything. He knew your little brother was at the baby sitter's, and their address as well. Protecting your family is something that you wouldn't question. It was the most important thing in the world. Soundlessly you got into the car that was parked not very far away. You made sure not to put on the seatbelt, if you saw a police officer you would simply jump out of the car and run to them and tell them what the man was trying to do.

That day, you didn't see the police. What you did see was an old factory building the man brought you to. You saw other children your age being led into cages. Oh hell no, you weren't getting in a cage! You started running when you heard the shot before you felt the pain. You looked down and saw your leg was bleeding and you couldn't run anymore. You screamed out in agony. You were taken to a cage, with a dirty rag wrapped around your leg, and thrown in like a rag doll.

Minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days. You couldn't stop wondering if your family was safe, if you could have done something different. Would you have been able to get away if you had just ignored the gun. Would they have taken you still?

Cold hands reached in your cage, and threw you in a metal chair. They handcuffed your hands down to the chair, while they also restrained your legs. The man in the white lab coat grumbled that he had to attend to the wound before he could do your 'treatment'. You remembered the pain, it was like a white flame all over your leg while he stitched it up. Every time the needle punctured your skin, you wanted to beg them to stop. Your cries were too loud, they put a guard in your mouth that was a little too big and it muffled your screams. Then came the injections, it felt like ice in your veins then fire. Your body convulsed from too much pain. You screamed until your voice was hoarse, until there was no sound coming out any longer.

"Y/N!!!" Nat was shaking your shoulder. You sat up screaming still ice glittering off your hands, when you realized most of the porch was full of ice. Nat looked worried with a light sheet of frost showing on the tips of her hair. It took you a moment to realize you were safe, it was just a nightmare.
"Oh God, Im so sorry!" you pulled back the ice and frost, shivering internally. "Are you okay? Is everyone okay?"
"We're fine, you were screaming" you could feel there were a lot of questions coming your way eventually.
"Did I hurt anyone?" you demanded looking for your phone.
"No, I promise, no one is hurt" she went to touch you, but you flinched away.
"How long was I asleep?" you finally asked after a very pregnant silence.
"Five hours" she studied you curiously.
"I can't sleep more than two" you stood up.
"That's not healthy" she started to follow you up.
"Its what keeps people safe" you flinched when she went to touch your shoulder again. "Go back to bed, please. Thank you for waking me up" you ran off the porch, embarrassed. You couldn't help blaming yourself. You shouldn't have been that comfortable, or sleep that long. It was too dangerous. Leia, Harry, and Chewy followed closely behind you. The sun wasn't set to rise yet, but it was getting close. Having no where else to go, you went to the river. You were still freezing cold from your powers trying to protect you, they seemed to still be active. You looked at your hands and they were still shimmering. You knew logically it was because you were still scared.
Looking down at the water, tears started flowing down your face easily. They turned instantly to little ice drops as they fell from your face. You remembered the last time you saw your family, the memory was bitter sweet. They were so happy. You had looked them up years after your escape from Hydra, they were safe. That's all that you needed to know. You knew that would also be one of the first places they would look for you if the faked death didn't work, is with your family. You'd come to terms you would never see them again; it was for their safety. Besides, you were too broken to be around people. Tonight, was obviously a good enough reason to solidify in your mind why the team had to leave as soon as possible, and it was better if you were alone. You were dangerous.