Roseanne's pov
I hold her hand tightly as we stroll from one store to another at the mall. Lisa doesn't say anything.
The same all is well type of smile is loyal on her face, even when she had to wait for me to finish my YSL shopping spree a few moments ago.
Lifting my paper bags from the store with one hand while the other loosely holding on to my palm, she looks around, and I can feel that she's tedious at her best.
And that kind of makes me sad. Maybe I should just let her take me to wherever that she wants to go.
Maybe she'll be happier that way.
"If you don't want to come with me, maybe you should tell next time"
I start as we get into the car and she looks at me, her hand frozen around the seatbelt that she's trying to buckle. "What do you mean?" she asks like she doesn't know what I'm saying.
So I give her a frown and fold my arms to my chest before turning slightly on the passenger seat so that I can be facing her. "Please, you know exactly what I'm saying"
"Rosie"
She pronounces my name tiredly, like I'm the sole source to her unhappiness. "Please don't start. We are having a good day"
"What good day?"
I tug my hair behind my ear. "Lisa, if walking around with me while thinking about another woman is the definition of a fine day for you, then you're either sick or stupid"
I chew my lip as I look at her who shakes her head in return. "I'm not thinking about someone else"
She protects herself but I refuse to let her win. "I'm sure right now"
I clench my jaws as I speak to her. "We can already name that someone with Jennie"
Lisa looks surprised but it doesn't take long for her to recover and drawing her hands to her face, breathing in and out for a few moments before retracting them back.
"You knew about it?"
She asks and I nod my head as tears start to fall down my cheeks. "And you know what's the saddest part of it?"
I ask her again. My voice is thin like a whisper now as my shoulders shake. "That you make me feel like I'm loved by you but you're so busy being in love with someone else"
"I'm not in love with her" Lisa hesitates. Her hands turning white around the steering wheel. "It's just complicated"
"It's not that damn complicated"
I look at her with tears in my eyes. "Just fucking tell me how you feel. If you love me, it's me for you. If it's not, then just tell me so that I don't waste my time being with someone like you"
"I don't want you to leave"
She leans in, capturing my lips with her own. I don't push her away. Instead, I cling my arms around her neck. "Please stay"
She begs me. "I'm figuring things out. Where I stand with her. And where I stand with you. I love you, Rosie. It's always you for me. But I love her too"
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