Where life leads us

Chapter 38

The flight back to London was at 4 a.m., Suzuka time. So, we would land between 7 am and 8 am, London time. But we were not allowed a little break, because we would all immediately go to the factory. There we would have the conversations with the drivers, which they did not know yet. Claire had told them about a meeting all together, which the drivers had accepted skeptically. They hadn't been able to say much about it either.

Since I hadn't really slept, I had hoped to make up for it on the plane. Unlike George and Robert, I couldn't find a second of sleep. I was terrified of Robert's reaction, but Claire was right, as a boss you had to learn how to deal with such things. The whole squad would be present at the meetings of the drivers, because we had also made the decision together.

"Does anyone miss their prince?" George asked me. But I wasn't exactly joking because of the lack of sleep, which I had probably made clear to him with my gaze. Protectively, he had raised his hands and tried to make it clear to me that he surrendered and would probably leave me alone for the rest of the flight. Actually, I was sorry, but my nerves and bad conscience could not bear his stupid sayings.

I had spent the rest of the flight with the headphones in my ear, as I was struggling with my feelings of guilt. No matter how many times I told myself it was the right decision, my heart pulled together and said something else. But I had sworn to do personal things at the back of my job, so I wouldn't prefer Lando to a better driver professionally. I didn't really have to worry about it, because my friend was a good driver.

In the media they talked badmouth about our realationship, of course, after the partial takeover. Lando was named second Lance Stroll. For those who didn't know what it meant, Lance's father is with other investors Racing Point, which is why Lance is also for the ride. Personally, I hadn't had much to do with Lance until now, but somehow this fact made him and his father a little more unsympathetic to me. Especially since I found that there were a lot more talented drivers than Stroll, and he was only in Formula One thanks to his father. Back to Williams, because I didn't care about Racing Point matters.

Arriving at the airport, we grabbed our luggage and drove off. Claire took me with her, because Lando had taken me with him on the out-of-flight and I couldn't drive anyway, I had come without a car. Most of them had either already driven here together and were now driving together to the factory or were now travelling alone in their car, as were probably the two drivers.

"How will it go?" I asked my boss after a brief silence. She had risked a short look from the side on me, as she had just driven on the highway. Unlike Lando and Mirella, Claire did not drive faster than the speed limit allowed. This was probably because she was already a certain age and also has a child. With kind, you always drive a little more cautiously, not that she drove slowly, just as it was allowed.

Shortly she set a blinker to indicate her overtaking maneuver: "First we will sit down alone again as a squad, then one of us will bring the drivers to us in the conference room one after the other. In the intervening period, all drivers will be busy with simulations, so hopefully they won't get anything from what we discussed with the others." Silently I nodded, no matter how you would do it, it was still the same bad news for Robert.

'It's always going to be hard to deliver bad news, but Robert will know his performances weren't good enough. He's a grown man, he'll understand our decision," Claire tries to take away my bad conscience. Unfortunately, it just didn't work out, I was already more than a little bad. Again, and again, I had the feeling that I had to sway straight away. I would have liked to have called Lando and let him cheer me up, but this was not the case, as he was not yet allowed to know.

Tired and exhausted, I leaned back into the seat and closed my eyes. Quietly I started singing the songs on the radio, this always calmed me down a bit. At some point I had probably sung myself to sleep, because the next thing I noticed was the cold window pane and the car stopped. Sleepily I opened my eyes and rubbed them to me right away.

"Well slept?" my boss couldn't suppress a laugh. I just nodded awake. Sleepily, I opened the door and immediately stretched myself properly. Gradually everyone arrived in the parking lot, I had lit a cigarette, because I could use something for my nerves. George had only looked at me with a reprehensible look, but I just turned my back on him. If it bothered him, he should just look away, I just needed this cigarette.

Most of them had already gone in, so that only we smokers were standing outside. I was one of them, because smoking relaxed me a bit. Smoking also had something good, they always talked about it. We did that now, so I got to know the mechanics a little better, Williams was like a small family.

"I should come in, Claire and the others will surely be waiting for me", I put out my cigarette and almost ran into the inside of the building. I took two steps at a time as I ran up the stairs to the conference room.

Everyone was in the room but me, so I closed the door behind me. We briefly discussed how we would approach the matter and who would say what. I had probably the easiest part, I was only supposed to get the drivers and could sit there silently afterwards.

Everyone was leaning back in their armchairs when Michael looked at me, "I think we should start with George." I got up and walked out of the room, nodding. Since the simulations were in the lower part of the factory, I had to go down the stairs again and once through the production hall until I got to the different rooms, in each one there was a driver inside. Just stupid that I didn't know who was in which and nothing was written to.

"Are you looking for something?" a mechanic asked me. I had already started to say a saying for the random generator in my head and was therefore really terrified. With a big sentence forward, I could see this clearly, so he had to laugh a bit.

I just twisted my eyes: "I have to get George Russell; you don't happen to know which of the rooms I have to enter to have him." Still laughing, he pointed to the room to the right of me, thankfully I opened the door and walked in. George was in the middle of a simulation, but I was able to stop it with a button. So, the driver was terrified, because he was immersed in his simulation.

"We want to talk to you in the conference room," I tried to look neutral. You could see the fear and nervousness in his eyes. I was sorry to see him suffer, but for him everything would go well. Silently, the Briton followed me back to the upper floor.

I let him step into the conference room in front of me, so I could close the door. Next to Claire, I dropped into my seat and stared at the pen in front of me on the table. The lack of sleep had prepared in me, the sleep in the car had not made it good again. The journey from London to Wantage was just under 1 1/2 hours long, so I had slept maybe an hour.

Only with one ear I had heard the conversation, because I had to be careful not to fall asleep. But when they all rose up and congratulated George, I was startled. Immediately the nausea had come up again and my pulse went up. I knew who I was going to pick up. On the one hand I was happy when it was over, on the other hand I wanted it to never happen that far.

"All good with you Laura?" asked Michael. I had probably become a bit pale around my nose and also felt close to vomiting. I had never suffered as much for anyone as I have suffered now. George and the others had noticed it too, because they all looked at me anxiously and waited.

I just wavered and wanted to say, "Go, I probably need some movement." Claire looked at me critically, but said nothing about it. She let me out of the room with George, so I could get the next driver.

"Robert is going to go, isn't he?" my pulse accelerated again. This had probably overwhelmed my circulation, so I had to lean on the wall for a short time. The driver had reacted immediately and supported me.

Slowly I broke away from him, as it was somewhat like, "I'm not allowed to tell you George." I probably said more than enough, which is why the Briton just nodded. George had watched me attentively until I had Robert next to me. The driver was probably afraid I might have another weak moment, so he had to tell his colleague about my breakdown on the way to the simulation rooms.

"Don't look at me like that, I don't want to have to explain to Lando why his girlfriend fell down the stairs," but he only got an eye roll from me. I wouldn't fall down the stairs, and actually he was to blame for my little circulatory problem. My pulse had already been high enough, and he had let it drift even higher, as if the collapse had happened only because of him.

I just said goodbye to the Brit and went up with the Pole again to the rest of the squad. Robert and I hadn't changed a word, which was also due to my nausea. If I had to open my mouth, I probably would have cooked, so I just stayed silent.

Again, I stepped behind the driver and closed the door. To make it as pleasant as possible for me, I closed my eyes and lowered my head. In my mind, I tried to imagine Lando holding me in his arms and protecting me from evil in the world.

"Sorry, Robert", unfortunately, Claire's words had come to me. I tried hard to keep the thought of Lando upright, but I couldn't. My eyes opened and looked at the Polish driver, who probably hadn't quite grasped what this meant to him.

Without realizing it, a tear had dispersed from my eye and supposed over my cheek. The nausea had disappeared and the nervousness and made way for a kind of grief. Mum motherly, Claire stroked my upper arm and probably wanted to comfort me. But she didn't really succeed, as tears continued to flow down my cheek. A sob came out of me when we all got up to say goodbye to him.

Robert had come to me and just took me in my arms: "It's okay Laura. I'm not out of the world because it was the right decision from you." But it just didn't feel that way to me personally. This man had already experienced too much and had to fight for himself, and we took away his passion.

"I'll always be there somewhere with the formula and I hope you do, because you belong here, and especially you belong to Lando's side," he tried to rebuild me. He could really put a slight smile on my lips, but I still felt bad. So, I just looked at the floor and wiped away the tears when he let me go.

Claire had put herself next to me again: "I think we should all take a break before we bring our next candidate into the room. You can also go to the fresh air if you are better off." I had hardly waited for her words, since I had already disappeared into the fresh air, I urgently needed nicotine for my nerves.

'It's really okay Laura, that's the business. Those who drive badly and do not perform their tasks will be replaced. I had known for a long time, Claire and the others had hinted at something again and again, so that it didn't come out of it. That's why I've had conversations with Alfa Romeo. I'm not evil to you or anyone else, I'm grateful for the chance Williams gave me," I took a deep breath. The tears had come up again, but by breathing I had brought myself under control.

Robert had leaned against the wall next to me and looked at the entrance to the site: "Who will get my cockpit? Hopefully a young driver, it would be a little more enjoyable for me." I didn't know if I could tell him or not, but I thought I owed him that answer.

"Nicholas Latifi", a smile laid on the lips of the Pole. He seemed to be happy for the young driver, which calmed me down a bit. I quickly squeezed out the cigarette.

I came off the wall, which Robert did to me straight away: "Then you have two very good drivers next year." With this sentence, the last burden of mine had fallen, and I felt ten kilos lighter.