Where life leads us

Chapter 60

Actually, I thought my mother had put death away well, but after I discovered her crying in the kitchen twice a night, I decided to let Brazil go. So, I had to part with Lando again, one day before his birthday. I had given him the envelope with his gift, with the instruction to open it only on his birthday. Since it was stored in his suitcase, he would probably only open it on his birthday.

"I'm going to the boys in kindergarten and day-care, do you come with me directly or should I come back and pick you up?" Luca stood next to me and packed the bread tin for Matteo. Javier didn't need any of Luca's luck, because my stepfather was overwhelmed with the one bread tin.

Since I wanted to give the two boys at least some time alone with their father, I stayed behind and let the boys drive alone. Instead, I filled a tablet with food and a warm chocolate milk that I carried high into my mum and Luca's bedroom. Carefully I knocked as best I could before open the door with my elbow. It was all still completely dark in the room, only thanks to the light of the door gap, I could recognize my mother.

I put the tray on her dessert: "Luca is taking the little ones to kindergarten and day-care. After that I go to work with him, but only if you don't need me here." My mother turned to me, so weak I had never seen her. It was just a shadow of itself and that scared me a bit.

"Thank you, princess, but I can do it alone. But shouldn't you be on your way to Brazil?" Mum gently quirted over my cheek. I quickly shook my head, and when my family needed me, I didn't have to be anywhere else. Lando had said the same thing to me when I had to decide. He had immediately insisted that I would stay and that we would see each other again after Mirella's fetus had been abortion.

I smiled at my mom, "You're my mom and if my mom needs me, I'm there." I could see the tears in my mother's eyes and could only hope that she was crying because she was moved.

"Am I your mom? I was never there, neither your first steps nor words I could witness. Every time I see you had already taken another step without me, then I always felt bad and hid in work. I was Laura a lot, but I wasn't a real mother to you and I regret it," now I was crying too. How many times I had hoped to hear such words, it was balm for my soul.

Mum carefully broke down in tears: "But when I see you next to Lando and hear you do your jobs in the team, I can only be proud. I may not have a part in it, but you are a great and strong young woman Laura. But promise me something, always go to the preliminary examinations at the gynaecologist, promise me." I nodded perplexed, as my mother had screamed at me at the end.

I had never asked what cancer Abuela had, but now I was pretty sure. My grandmother had probably been diagnosed with breast cancer and died. No matter how much I hated this woman, she was my grandmother and could have inherited the cancer from me. But first and foremost, I was worried about my mother, who had turned away and was crying.

"Laura?!" the front door had opened and my stepfather was waiting for me. I stroked my mother's arm and pressed myself once on her. Before I turned away, I kissed her head and went to the door. Hopefully Mum would catch up again this week, otherwise I'd get into a dilemma.

I went to the door and turned to her again: "Luca, and I'm gone, call if there's something, please mom." I could see her nodding, which was enough for me to be a little calmer. If you had just lost someone, whether you liked them or not, you realized how finally everything was. The fear of losing loved ones was greatest, and I was definitely not ready to lose someone like my mother.

Downstairs at the entrance, Luca was waiting for me: "Has something happened? Why did you cry?" I just shook my head, what a mother and daughter were talking about, even mother and daughter were doing something. Even though I could entrust everything to my stepfather, I preferred to enjoy the apology inside and all alone.