Where life leads us

Chapter 26

Qualifying was a disaster; our cars got the last two starting places. I was sorry for Robert and George; they really couldn't do much for it with their cars they couldn't really do better. It almost hurt them to watch their efforts not being rewarded.

Lando had made it to 10th place, Charles had the pole position. After our drivers had already left after Q1, we had already retired. Together with Claire I had gone to the Williams building. The financial situation had occupied me more of the night than I wanted.

"How bad is it Claire?" she stood with her back to me and looked out the window. It was late, but no one was tired. We would start with the meetings right away, after the drivers have to give interviews and take a shower. So, I still had enough time to talk to my boss undisturbed.

I was still standing by the door as she turned to me: "Close the door and sit down." An uneasy feeling spread in me. I followed her instructions and sat at her desk like yesterday, but this time Claire stood behind her. She still seemed to think about how to tell me. This silence from her alone made my pulse rise higher. I haven't been on this team for a week, and I've lost my heart not only to the McLaren driver, but also to Williams. I liked that they tried it as a little one. No matter what sport, the underdogs almost always had my heart.

"We are always in talks with potential buyers, but as long as I can, I will not sell. The money is scarce, but it is enough to participate for the next year. If the results don't get better, I have to sell. For the big ones, a bad session is not as bad financially as for us small ones. We are already fighting for survival anyway, we don't go to the points there is no or little money," the team leader dropped into her office chair exhausted. It wasn't a physical exhaustion, it probably put a strain on her for a very long time.

What do you say in such a situation? Express condolences encourage or simply be realistic. I chose to remain silent. Before I put my foot in it, itwas probably better to be still. At least I knew the situation now, which would not dampen my concerns. I didn't want Claire Williams to sell, she was the brain and her father was the heart of the team. She belongs in this sport and even more so to Williams.

You could hear the clock ticking in the room, which started to annoy me: "What if I get mum or dad to invest in Williams, so no more than Mum already does. It has to be different from selling." Claire smiled at me; I must have sounded a little desperate. That's how I felt, desperate. The very thought that Williams might disappear was a heartfelt thing.

"It's not ready yet, at the moment the sheet can still turn. We just have to work on it and believe in it," she tried to reassure me. For my studies I had already observed a few companies and analyzed their behavior. That only made it harder for me to believe in a turnaround. Of course, Claire might be right, but it would almost be a miracle.

"The boys would have to be there soon, that qualifying is now over for everyone. We should go to the meeting room," she said. We had to wait a short time; I had used the time to write. Since I probably wouldn't see Lando anymore, I congratulated him for the 10th places, he wouldn't be satisfied, but I thought it was very good. He had a good chance to fight his way further forward, and I was sure he would do better. And finally, one should not forget that it was his first year in F1.

Tired I went next to George, we were all on our way back to the hotel together. As if the night was shining in front of us, not lightning in the sky, but from cameras. Some photographers and reporters stood in front of us. While George pulled me to him, Robert tried to stand in front of us. The reporters asked wildly, so I couldn't understand anything. But one thing I knew was that these paparazzi hadn't waited because of the team. They had probably found out about the realationship between me and Lando.

Frightened, I held on to the Briton next to me, who held me. Claire and our press officer tried to talk to the men and women. They gave us the sign to just go on, unfortunately we were still followed by photographers. Luckily, they were stopped outside the hotel. But I didn't feel safe until the elevator doors closed.

With my nerves at the end, I let the wall slide down: "Thank you." I couldn't and wouldn't say more. I just wondered if it would be forever when I was with my Brit. The thought that paparazzi might be lurking everywhere scared me. I didn't want to be constantly persecuted and photographed, I just wanted to be happy.

George and Robert had tried to talk to me, but I had blocked. In my room I wanted to come up with other thoughts, so I went on Instagram. This was on the exploding. My account was public, which I now regret. Not that I had anything against the many new followers, but there were probably also small children among Landos fans. They probably found each other so great that they wrote insults under photos of me.

Tears ran down my cheeks because some comments hit me right. In my exhaustion and fatigue, I did not have the strength to maintain the wall. So, these insults hit me hard. But so that no one could hear it, I lay down in my bed and pressed my face into the pillow. I ignored the ringing of my phone; I didn't want to hear or see anyone.

I did probably the stupidest thing you could do, I'll read more comments. The nice ones I flew over and just looked at the negative ones. It also seemed to me that there were only these. The articles that surfaced didn't help me feel better. So, the sun had published an article entitled: Romeo and Juliet of Formula 1. It wasn't a bad thing, but I didn't want to read the article.

Wild was knocked against my door and I could hear several voices from outside, I just posed asleep and didn't answer. Cuddled into my blanket, I looked at the window front and let the tears run mute. The knock I heard only through a cloud.

"Let thiss ous girls regulate, we'll write to you," I hadn't heard it in my bubble. But Alex's girlfriend remained stubborn, so after a long discussion only the women were at my door. By women, I mean Lily, Victoria and Claire. I had met Lily briefly on the paddock today. But I hadn't had any time that we could have a proper conversation. After all, I was not only here for my pleasure, but also had to do my job.

Again, it knocked: "Open the door, we know you're not asleep." It had been Vic who asked me to open the door again, but I wasn't moving. So, the sound sounded from the door, Claire had probably got another card.

"Come on," Vic immediately stormed to me. Lily had sat down at the bedside, but she didn't dare hug me. Claire had grabbed the armchair in the corner and looked at me and the Dutchwoman. She wiped my tears from my cheek.

Lily saw that I still had Instagram open, so she took my phone and closed the app: "You don't have to give that to yourself." I smiled at her slightly over the blonde's shoulder. The Asian woman answered my smile and stroked my upper arm. We didn't really know each other, so we didn't want to get too close to each other. She kept her distance because she didn't want to get too close to me, for which I was grateful.

"Your free tomorrow, you don't have to come to the race. Take a break and don't take your phone in your hand for a day... I wish I could say that I didn't see it coming. There will always be people who are jealous, just let them write. In real life, no one would dare to say in your face what the letters do, as long as they can't, you don't have to take it to heart. These children have probably forgotten that you are even a human being with feelings, for them, it is almost a game," my boss looked up to me with energized.

When Vic released me, my team leader hugged me once before saying goodbye: "You're in the best hands here, sleep a little bit and forget these kids. You are the prettiest, strongest and smartest young woman I know." I gave her a matte smile when she was already at the door. Her gaze much more on the three of us before she disappeared from the room.

The Dutchwoman had laid down to the right of me in bed and had put her arm over my shoulder. I had my head lowered on hers and looked at Lily. She didn't seem to know what to say or do. It was already after one o'clock at night, but it was not yet to be thought of sleeping.

"Why do they do something like this, they don't even know me," my eyes started to burn again. Vic pulled me closer and Lily sat down with us on the wall. Slowly, she put a hand on my upper arm and gently stroked over it. They probably didn't know the answer to my question, because they remained silent.

Alex's girlfriend slowly thawed and had now put an arm over my shoulder: "The life of them is probably quite boring. You always have to imagine that it's little girls who have delusions and think they could win Lando over... But there were also some really great comments, but rather let them go and let the others be jealous." I just nodded tiredly, but still a tear fell out of my eyes. The blonde pulled me a little closer to herself, Lily also joined in this time. So, we sat third on mine in a hug.

"So enough cried, now we laugh again. Let's see a comedy, bring our thoughts to something beautiful. These haters aren't worth a tear or thought," Lily agreed, turning on the TV. I had to laugh with happiness, the two were just gold. Alex's girlfriend hadn't even really known me, and yet she had been there for me without hesitation.

"A Mirella calls you," Lily pulled me out of her thoughts. She handed me my phone and I immediately took off. Worried, my best friend starts talking to me and building me up, even though it wasn't necessary anymore. A broad smile was placed on my lips, which Mirella heard through her mobile phone, because she knew me too well.

While I was on the phone, the other two were looking for a comedy, I watched it: "You don't have to fly here until you're here, I'm back in London. I'm fine, a girlfriend and a sister from  drivers are with me."

"So, I'm going to be replaced so quickly? When are you back in London?" she asked immediately. She wouldn't let it take her away, as soon as she could, she would want to come to me. She probably didn't care that she had lectures. I loved my curling head, when I needed it, it always came. At least I could stop her from flying to Singapore, because she would have done it without hesitation, I was sure.

Sighing, I tried to evoke my schedule: "We are expected to land in London at around eight o'clock in the evening on Monday evening." When I had to tell her the name of the airport, I could be sure that she would be waiting for me there. Now I wouldn't be able to wait until I was finally back in London. I hadn't seen my best friend for a month, just through FaceTime and that doesn't count for me.

The two women next to me looked at me when I was asked: "My best friend. She's going to fly to London and pick me up there, I haven't seen her in a long time, because she's still studying.' The two of them were happy for me, but we made ourselves comfortable in my bed and looked at Mr. Beans Holliday. This film made me forget everything.

Lily had quickly written to Alex that she wouldn't go back to Russo. It was very late, and we were all tired, so we were now three in my bed and tried to sleep. Alone it was already too warm, and now we had to lie close together so that we had space. But we could only laugh.

We laughed and told ourselves a lot about our livesuntil we all fell asleep. While it was slowly getting bright era again outside,we had hardly noticed this.