Beginning.
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He didn't know if he was stupid..his feet was resting in the water as he sat right at the shore of the lake..the sand wet beneath his clothes, the lower part of his clothes were soaked, as the water went to his waist.
Maybe it was the unbearable thought about leaving that held him away from leaving. He had fallen in love with this place, with Hyunjin, and with the non-social society. He had fallen for it all. Bathing in his own sorrows he chuckled,.loving the freezing cold water that numbed his skin completely. Loving the icy pain that for some reason burned.
He couldn't believe it..but he couldn't deny it. He, himself. Was the villain of his own story, he was never the main character. He was bond to ruin everything in his way..and maybe that'll be how he would leave this place, to ruin it..to ruin the person that ruined everyone..also known as himself.
To destroy all evidence of pure chaos in his mind, his body..and his love for the taller male. Whenever he closed his eyes, Hyunjin would appear..his big warm smile, his hugs, his kisses, his warmth, his sadness..his love..everything about the taller would appear.
He never reached his final destination in life. It just wasn't meant to happen..nothing but chaos was meant to happen to him. The world gave him a minute of peace before breaking him back down into the mess he believed he didn't deserve to become.
It was fate after all.
It was fate that he was the horrible person he was..it was fate that whoever, whatever and anything he stumble across..would crumble because of him.
The thought of leaving this place was something he hated. So maybe he could leave..without leaving this particular place? Without having his body removed from this place.
He looked at the water infront of him..thinking about only one think..
To drown.
He wanted to drown himself in his sorrow, his tears..and his love. He wanted peace so badly..to the point he believed this was the only right way out. To delete all evidence of hus existence, yet something inside of he didn't want Hyunjin to forget him..yes if was cruel, but it was love after all.
Maybe Hyunjin was going to forget him..but he will eventually, once his souls would fly away in a white cloud.
He scurried further into the water, till it reached his neck.
"I love you Hyunjin..I don't know how much I can repeat these words..but I love you" he spoke, wanting his apologetic I love yous, be his last words..believing that an I love you..was the best final words he could give Hyunjin, the best final words to leave his mouth.
the bittersweet taste of the words lingered in his mouth afterwards, sighing softly as he gave one final smile to the surface..before submerging his whole body in water. His eyes closed as the picture of Hyunjin appeared.
His soft smile, hands, hair, eyes, nose, lips, warmth..it all appeared..his heart and lungs ached, but he resisted the temptation to go back the surface..he resisted the temptation to breathe in fresh air.
Cause he didn't deserve it.
This is what she meant by getting peace soon, right?
This was what he was going to find peace in. Death. He would sleep on soft white clouds, not a single care in the world, he would not let any tears spill from his eyes..he was going to be at peace, to be happy.
Maybe not the same kind of happy that Hyunjin made him feel..but he was going to be happy..right?
He struggled when he felt his lungs give up on him..air bubbles leaving his mouth as he ran out of oxygen. His mind dizzy and hazy. The picture of Hyunjin in his mind started to blur, it started to disappear. He held onto it for as long as possible, wanting to cry and scream and beg..but he couldn't..cause soon, he would not be here..he would stay here..he would fly high..maybe then, he could watch over Hyunjin.
He felt himself go numb..his eyes that were once clenching close, was now relaxed. His skin paled as he stopped struggling against the urge to breathe. The picture of Hyunjin disappeared from his mind..while he disappeared from earth.
This was his story..his own story..and now a new one would be waiting him in a different place..a story that was maybe a little more peaceful this time..but before peace, there is always darkness.
His next story begins here.
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The End.
Thank you so much for reading this book♡. This has been the most difficult story for me to write, especially since it was such a different kind of genre compared to my other books.
This focused a lot on surreal beings, and magical creatures..a place far away from actual reality. My heart ached writing the last 20 chapters of this book, putting my feelings and emotions into writing these last words.
This has indeed been an experience, and I am very thankful for the support this book has gotten.
I will see in another book, feel free to click on my profile to read my other creations.
Please stay safe and healthy♡.
