Shady.
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They enjoyed the day outside. There wasn't that many people around anymore, and the park seemed to empty out by now. The street lights turned on as the sky turned a nice orange to purplish tone, a perfect attire for mid spring. Jeongin felt himself relax against the blanket, hands on his stomach as he rubbed it subconsciously.
He was in the deep thought as he looked mesmerized by the many clouds choosing forms and shapes, something he meant was unfair. Why could clouds float? Why cold they turn, shape and even mold according to whatever it'll like? Why couldn't he do that? Why couldn't people do that..he wanted to float too.
It sounded directly odd, but he couldn't help but to think how nice it'll be to float, and gaze over the multiple people beneath him..to feel special, seen and happy.
Maybe he could be that cloud to Hyunjin?
He kept a firm frown on his face at that thought. He really never have thought of Hyunjin that..deeply. yes he felt flutters of million butterflies in his stomach, whenever simply their hands touched, as if a static kept them connected to power each other up.
"Do you ever feel..like your body is too heavy to let itself go, as if something is pulling it down to linger it to the ground..as an attempt in preventing dreams and happiness to seek through? I sometimes wonder what it would be like to actually be at peace and quiet, to not share my breath, to not share thoughts and ideas whenever someone ask like a thirsty dog..just be myself, And relax..I want that" Jeongin mumbled as his eyes trailed over the lines of the many clouds, finding most of them utterly useless, but rather still important to them, like a shield they don't really appreciate..but needs.
"Your referring to you past right? It still haunts you everyday? Why can't you forget? They aren't your family if they chose to leave you, they aren't your friends if bullying had to be a part of it" Hyunjin spoke. Supporting himself on his elbows as he looked at the younger.
"I just want peaceful days..but even if it seems to get better, I still manage to fuck it up..I don't like that..I'm actually lucky I have a place to live..I'm lucky I still have someone to talk too..and I'm lucky that I am not just wandering around the woods, having no clue to where I'm going. But something inside of me still wish I was out there".
He felt the urge to cry, Hyunjin was looking at him, paying his full attention to him. It made him feel both listened too, and sort of annoyed.
He didn't know what made all the hoops and turns around his stomach, but he felt himself crave that feeling more than anything else..like that feeling gave him some sort of purpose in life.
"Close your eyes" Hyunjin whispered, looking at Jeongin who had a frown displayed on his face.
"Why?".
"Just do it" Hyunjin smiled, watching as Jeongin kept that prominent frown on his face, closing his eyes carefully before sighing..not knowing where Hyunjin wanted to go with this. "What do you see?" He asked cautiously, waiting for the younger to say something.
"I don't know..darkness? Emptiness, the void?" Jeongin commented, even more confused than before. "Can I open my eyes now?".
"Not yet".
Jeongin got even more confused. What was the point in all of this? He didn't really know, he thought it was some stupid bullshit. But maybe he could get something out of it? Especially knowing that Hyunjin always had something unique to say that often piqued his his curiosity or interest.
"Your seeing completely nothing, because you can't see the road infront of you, you keep your eyes closed as if your in denial about forgetting your past, to let such an important part of you go. But it's never safe to go anywhere unprepared, especially with your eyes closed. You have to open your eyes, to see the big thing about life, you have to walk cautiously but comfortably on your road, and even if someone attempts to push you off track..you better stay confident and get right back on track by yourself. When you open you're eyes, you can see that it fills up the emptiness and void, that has been holding you back".
The words repeated slowly in Jeongin's head, his eyes twitching as he thought deeply about them. He felt himself shrink, when he felt the presence of the older above him. Looking down at him, and he felt so cramped up. But for some reason he wanted to feel even more cramped up.
When Jeongin opened his eyes, Hyunjin's gaze lifted from his lips to his eyes, breath hitching as he felt the urge to bring the boy even closer to him.
"Your so beautiful" he whispered benath his breath, but loud enough for the younger to hear.
But Jeongin was completely still, he was frozen in place as if he didn't have any words left to say. And within that second of silence, their lips met..for the third time around. But this time it didn't feel empty, or emotionless. It was full of passion and desire, a desire they both secretly been longing for..and Jeongin could feel himself melt in the arms of ghe taller.
"I promise you, I'll give you peace and quiet" Hyunjin whispered against his lips, placing a cherished kiss on them, slowly filling up the empty void that has been waiting for a refill for such a long time.
