The Diary of Our Love

Chapter 78

James cleaned his tears and then cupped my face with his hands, looking deeply in my eyes. I felt my body shudder for I could read in his eyes that a bomb was coming.

"Babe, there has been an accident..." He stopped talking, and I waited impatiently for him to continue, but it was visibly hard for him to give me the news.

"Lil had an accident, honey." He finally said, almost whispering as his voice broke again, but he controlled himself not to cry there. "I am so sorry..." His voice failed and I felt my legs getting weak.

"But she's alright, right?" I asked. "James..." I grabbed his shirt with both my hands. "She is alright... Lil is alright, right?"

My voice coming weak and in soft sobs. I saw James bend his head down. He just looked at his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets not being able to look at me. I sobbed a little louder as I anticipated bad news.

"James?" I insisted, expecting his answer almost in panic. He didn't answer me, instead he just shook his head. "No..." I said in a low tone and shaking my head.

"The accident was too violent." He whispered and then he found the strength to look in my eyes and deliver the most horrible news ever. "She didn't survive, my love" He said with his voice breaking.

I fell on my knees crying loud and sobbing violently. I could not take such news. My best friend... the sister I never had... my other half was gone. I grabbed onto James's legs crying loud.

"Baby, please it's not true..." I yelled in despair and agony. "It's not true... she's alive... Lil is alive..." I sobbed again. "James..." My shoulders shaking.

James grabbed my hands and started pulling me up, but I just held on to his legs and begged him.

"Please, bring her back..." I cried. "Please, James..." I gathered courage to look up in his eyes. "...bring her back..." I sobbed. "Bring her back for me..."

"Lea..." He whispered, grabbing my hands again and trying to pull me up.

I was just yelling at the top of my lungs though. It was too painful to keep it all inside, so I yelled and cried as violently as I could. James's face covered in tears and as he saw I wasn't subsiding, he just knelt down with me and held me tight. He held me so tightly that I was almost suffocating, but I needed that. He stayed there with me just stroking my hair and kissing my cheeks and holding me and did not say a word. James stayed with me until I subsided of exhaustion. Until I could no longer sob, or shout, or do anything. I was too tired. When he finally felt me quieting, he picked me in his arms and took me upstairs, and he sat me on the bed. I was like numb. I looked at him, but I didn't know what to tell him. My tears started falling down my face again, but this time in silence. It hurt so much I could not even utter a word. He was crouched in front of me just looking in my eyes. At that moment, I felt him so helpless that I raised an arm and gently caressed his face and then I rested my head against his forehead. Tenderly, he kissed my tears, and finally he kissed both my eyes.

"I know how hard it is." He said. "Baby, I know how you feel...".

"I know you do." I whispered

"Stay here."

"James..." I called him but he didn't respond.

He went to the bathroom. I heard the water running in the bathroom and after a couple of minutes, he came to pick me up. I gave him my hand and he pulled me up and guided me to the bathroom and once there, he took my clothes off. I helped him. Then, he led me inside the tub and told me to sit. I did as he told me. I was hoping he would join me but he just crouched outside of the tub and cupped some water with his hands and then let it fall over my head. I stayed quiet feeling the water running over me. James repeated the process several times, until my hair was drenched. Tears were still falling but were now invisible because of the water falling over me.