The Diary of Our Love

Chapter 22

Kylie, a girl in the agency, gave me the phone number of her doctor. I didn't tell her what was happening, because I didn't want to raise any attention to it before I knew everything was alright. I just told her that I needed to make my regular visit to the gynecologist, and that I didn't know any in London. After our conversation, I was lucky enough to have an appointment with the doctor that same afternoon. One of the patients had canceled so there was a vacant time for me. I was happy, when I entered her office, to see she was also an obstetrician.

Lil wasn't there with me that afternoon because she had a meeting. I was curious about what meeting was about for she had been full of secrecy, but I felt a bit lonely at the same time. I was scared, so a bit of support would have been nice at the time. I had never felt that lonely as when I sat on that chair waiting for my appointment at the doctor's office. Tears came to my eyes again, but that time I refused to let it fall and I cleaned my eyes with the back of my hand, trying to control myself. Looking around me, there were some women far in their pregnancy with smiles on her faces, but most of them were with their companions and that was a huge difference. The father of my child didn't even know I was there.

When I was called inside, I sat in front of the doctor and I explained my situation with my legs and hands shaking of nervousness. She was around 30, black hair, blue eyes, and very pretty. She was also nice, always smiling at me and making me feel comfortable, and assuring me I was going to be fine. I liked her instantly. Her name was Grace. Dr. Grace Connelly.

"So, Leandra, do you want to keep this baby?" She asked me after hearing the whole story.

The only fact that I hid from her was the identity of the father of my child. I would never expose James without telling him first and I had no intention of doing it. Despite knowing it was absurdly wrong, I wanted to keep it to myself. I was decided not to let James know about my pregnancy despite knowing how wrong that was.

"Yes." I nodded. "It never crossed my mind not to keep it." I told her. "I have all the means to bring a child into this world, so I want to have my baby." I smiled in the end.

"Maybe in our next appointment you should bring the father with you." The doctor suggested and that's when my heart came to halt, figurately speaking. "He might have some doubts too and it's good if he participates." She continued, and I looked at my hands as my heart sunk down in misery as she spoke.

"The father..." I started and she interrupted me.

"Oh... I see dear" She told me, understanding that maybe the father would never be present. "Everything is gonna be fine." She said, stroking my hands.

"It's not what you are thinking." I told her though because I was sure she was thinking James had refused the baby and that wasn't the case.

"I know how it goes." She stroked my hand.

"No..." I shook my head. "He doesn't know..." I added so I would stop inducing her in error.

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "Then, you must tell him." The doctor added and I started shaking my head and she noticed I was panicking a little. "It's ok..." She told me.

"I just..." I told her, looking at her but with shaking voice and she offered me a smile.

"Now can you take your clothes off?" The doctor asked me, diverting me from the overwhelming conversation. "I need to check if everything is fine with you and your baby. According to my accounts you must be seven weeks pregnant. Your baby has a heartbeat already and we're going to hear it." She said, guiding me to the other room.

"Really?" I asked, smiling at her. All of a sudden, some joy invaded my sad emotions.

"Yes." The doctor confirmed.