The Diary of Our Love

Chapter 89

Don't they say time flies?

My time in Europe flew off and I was stepping on San Francisco's ground in a blink of an eye. The day was hot, the sun was shining and the sky was blue. I smiled looking around. I sure missed the city. Being away those months made me realize that San Francisco had become my home. I missed the city more than I have missed Barcelona, and even when I was there I just wanted to come back home. I created deep roots in the US.

Even if I was far away, it didn't mean I lost contact with my friends. I haven't. I stayed in touch as much as I could. So, I knew I wouldn't find James in the house anymore. He had left for good. He left Disco at Kirk's some weeks before I came back and he was back to Francesca. To tell you the truth, I wasn't surprised with the news. I was hurt, terribly hurt but not surprised. I knew he would look for support somewhere. He couldn't stand to be alone and apparently she was the one willing to give it all to him. I don't blame him. They have a child together and I guess that triggered him.

Sometimes he texted me. While I was in Europe I also heard from him but just simple questions asking how I was doing, or just to tell me that he had seen me in some magazine, or that he had seen me on TV doing some show. I always answered him. I never left him without a word from me. Somehow, it comforted me knowing he still cared to know about me. Or maybe I thought that was his way to show that I was still in his mind. Even after Lani told me that he and Francesca were getting closer, he still texted me. Only once he wrote "I miss you". From my calculations it was really late in the night in San Francisco and I was close to come back. During the entire summer, our relationship was summed up to a couple of text messages and nothing else.

Lani disliked Francesca a lot. She used to say that she was nothing but an opportunist. I used to think the same, to be honest. I've always thought she was a gold digger, but maybe her feelings for him were real after all. It takes love to accept him back after the humiliation she had been through. Or maybe I am wrong... and she only sees her social position rising and her bank account too. One thing I was sure. She had no self-esteem, but who was I to judge.

I was doing fine. My months in Europe went great. I can't say it was easy, but at least it was funny and I was always busy which was very important. I made a little tour around Lisbon, London, Madrid, Milan, Paris, Rome and even Prague. It had been the first time I had a fashion show in Prague. It's a beautiful city. The architecture of the buildings is phenomenal. I stayed there a couple of days just being the random tourist.

In London, I saw Gary. I was so happy to see he was doing better. He was still under treatment but at least he was talking, and he was not in the hospital anymore. He was with his sister and his daughter in great humor. He was definitely coming back to life and that pleased me. I spent as much time as I could with him while I was there. I spent most of my time in London actually. At one moment Gary even started talking about going back to work, and that was a great sign for sure. The baby was just amazing and growing fast but being with them broke my heart even more. I had lost my best friend and my biggest love. I could be smiling outside but inside... I was broken. Shattered.

Howard was my company in London too. We spent a lot of time together during the summer. We went out for dinner, for movies, for night clubs, he was very cool and a special person. I wasn't in love with him, but I was attracted to him. There was this time where I let him kiss me but once our lips touched, James came to my mind. For a moment, I almost wished it was him that was kissing me, so I thought it was better to leave things at that. Not moving forward, I wasn't obviously ready for another relationship or ready to kiss another guy, not to mention having sex. I was not ready for anything related to men. We were so different... James had to go running and find someone to be with and I'd rather be alone.