The Diary of Our Love

Chapter 63

I woke up in the morning wrapped in James's arms. It felt so good to I wake up like that. I always felt so protected in his arms. For a while, I watched every detail of his face while we were still sleeping and caressed his hair. I took my hand away when he moved though, I didn't want to wake him up. In his sleep, he pulled me closer and we were practically glued and his face stayed just a few inches away from mine. Such a temptation to kiss him. I resisted it and sneaked out of the bed gently so he wouldn't notice. I had a shower in the other bathroom and got dressed in there too. Just when I'm leaving, I saw Dee getting out of her bedroom.

"Good Morning." I said, smiling at her.

"Seems like we're the only ones awake." She told me.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked.

"Yes, I did. I can't even remember sleeping so well." She offered me a smile.

"Are you hungry? Because I am, and I'm going to have breakfast. We can talk a bit. We almost haven't had time to do it yesterday." I suggested.

I hoped she would tell me a bit about her. I knew a few stories as James used to talk about her a lot, that's why I insisted with him to call her.

"Yeah, I am." She simply said, following me downstairs.

I prepared the eggs and made some pancakes. She made the orange juice and the coffee. I also grilled my mushrooms. I was really in the mood for some mushrooms. To be honest, I think it was the first thing I thought about when I opened my eyes still in bed. The toasts were ready so we just sat at the table eating.

"Did the photo I give my brother yesterday disturbed him?" She asked me.

"He was a bit sad. You know, I don't think he has coped with your mother's death yet. He hides his emotions a lot. I don't know why he does that, but he's always been afraid of his feelings. But he is fine, it just brought some memories. He said that photo is from the last Christmas you spent together. It must be hard for him." I explained.

"Yes it is." Deanna confirmed it. "Mom died next year in September. It was very hard for us." She had the same sadness James had when talking about this in her eyes.

"I bet it was." I whispered not knowing exactly what to tell her.

"It was like our life was over, you know. We had to move to our brother's house, and he didn't have time for us. Well, me the most. He took care of James. I just had James, and then David threw me out of the house. I was so lost. I don't think he has ever realized how hard it was for me. Our father left us. James supported me a lot, but both of us thought he'd come back one day. Then, a few years later our mother died. We lost everything. We were both under age, so we had to leave our house, our school, our friends. We didn't have any money, nothing. No father and no mother and a brother who thought we were just a burden."

"You don't talk to them?" I asked.

"No. I went to live with me father and I think they don't even know where I am now. I know James sees them once in a while. Maybe to James things were a bit easier. I felt abandoned for the third time when I was sent to live with my father. Then, James came to San Francisco and that was even harder for me."

"It's like you said. He was a kid himself. He didn't think he was causing you any pain. He was as lost as you were." I sipped on my coffee.

"I know, and then I started using drugs. Hanging around with bad companies. He came looking for me once, and I remember him telling me how bad drugs were for me. But then he was completely drunk, so I thought why taking his advice. Our parents don't really have a clue how they've screwed up our life, but anyway they are both dead now."