🌠You And Me Are Forever 🌠 (completed)

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"Mumma, mumma" Reyansh ran around her,laughing, still glowing like the halogen light. The white clothes he had on were his permanent one.

"Mumma catch me, come on" he ran and Sana followed her smiling widest.

He abruptly stopped and Sana was stilled again. As if tied in ropes, her body was caught for any movement. She tried, she wriggled in her place, just to hug Reyansh once, but all in vain.

"Reyansh, come to mumma baby, come here" she urged, sobbing. Reyansh seemed lost in his own word to hear her.

"Reyansh" she again shouted for him to hear, and he turned this time with a frown and hands on his waist..

"Mumma I am upset" he complained, and his lips drew outwards.

"Why baby"

"Because, you came alone and you didn't come along papa" he reasoned and before Sana could explain further, he was lost in the air.

She jolted, and sat up straight, sweating and panting. The nightmares were chronic now, but it was the first time Reyansh asked for Sidharth, and she was trying to tell him something but what. Did she even had a reason to pacify her son. The distance they had before Reyansh left them was not so wide. They still lived with each other, out of compulsion, out of need and may be because they wanted to live together. The fight, which created a rift wasn't wide and the both ends were willing to fill it, for they knew they need each other, they want each other and they can't just be without each other. Those words created harm, his words pained her, and her pained him, but it wasn't as deep and was curable. But what he said, what he blamed her for has shattered her to reconcile ever. The words have been a great blow her confidence, she believed her less for big responsibilities. The guilt has eaten her hollw, and that hallow was only getting bigger and wider. "I am sorry Reyansh, mumma couldn't save you" she cried. But was it in her control to hold the cycle of life, can she stop the inevitable?

Suddenly her decision to head the project felt inappropriate. She didn't consider herslef to have the potential to handle a responsiblity as big as this. Sleep was elusive to her now and it was just 3 in the morning. She couldn't even disturb Ishika at this time. Her only escape at these moments was the balcony under the starlit sky, and sadly tonight even the sky was clouded just like her thoughts. Still she came in the balcony and plopped on the pod swing.

Everything was still, in the dark night. The night yesterday gave her peace while tonight it was frightening her. She wanted someone to hold her right now, as the loneliness started pulling her back to where she was a year back. No, no she can't go back she can't. She decided to fight and she will fight. A cup of coffee and she might feel good, so she was brewing the coffee the next moment, she tried hard distracting her from the scaring vision but everytime she was pulled back there. "Sidharth" an inaudible whimper left her mouth. She wanted him to hold her and it was a far fetched dream. The words he said that day were still fresh. The wounds seems to never be healed and if ever healed the scar would never leave her. The guit of killing her son would always be with her. The inability to be a good mother will be hers forever. It was such a bittersweet thing. She wanted him and at the same time she never wished to see his face. Just weird things, it is, that love does.

As the coffee enetered her she felt the tensed nerves relax a bit. Reyansh photo in her hands, tore her apart. He should be in her arms and not caged in these photo frames. "Baby, mumma misses you so much" her voice cracked and it became heavy as a lump formed in her throat, trying to control the watery eyes from flowing. The coffee did help her, but still her speculation about the project wasn't coming to any conclusions.

"No Sana, its a big big project and because of your stupidity you just can't ruin it. Main kal sabse phele Rachit ko hi bolungi ki he should select someone else for this" she self-advised. The next few hours before the sun emerged passed by her being in trance, thinking about the life that went by and the life that was ahead.