hello, world.
nothing feels better than being back for real <3
here's to all of you who stayed!
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:) reader.
I tossed the day's weight into my locker on a snug Wednesday, relieving my shoulders of a burden far too sad for any school kid. I had successfully blinked my way through every class, but this last one was going to be considerably tough owing to Mr. Harris's interactive nature. However, the moment I shut my locker after grabbing the necessary books, I knew that there was another reason why the next hour would be testing, for it was looking right through me the moment our eyes locked.
I couldn't tell if it was the jolt of my pulse that echoed in my startled mind or the weight of his gaze that tickled my chest.
Whatever it was, I did not want to fight it, so I backtracked. Breaking contact, I took a step behind and turned my back to the crowd that stood between Johnny and me, tearing myself away and fading further into the distance. My eyes itched for a single glance over my shoulder at the boy who stood with his friends, but I plunged any such wish deeper down my throat, knowing that I had to see him in a few minutes for the class we shared.
All I could think of was if he had forgotten to show up at the library yesterday or if he had simply bailed.
Mr. Harris greeted me with a smile when I stepped through the door, one that I returned. There were hardly any people in class given how there the final bell was still to scream, but they were lucky enough to have snagged every seat by the window. Suppressing a groan at how the golden row was now lost, I trudged to the back.
Dropping my bag, I slumped down in my seat with a hushed huff, bringing my hands up to rub the drowsiness from my eyes. I let my palms slap the desk softly, blinking to adjust my foggy sight that was focused on the door, every action of mine screeching to a halt when a familiar figure of all things alien blocked it.
Johnny's steady stare traveled around the room, more vacant than occupied as it stood. I watched hesitantly yet shamelessly how unearthly he looked in a setting as bland as a classroom, adorning it with every bit of his being.
His gaze never faltered, not even when it found me looking right back at him.
I felt a punch to my chest where I had felt a tickle the last time I had seen him, it amazed me how the same person could make you feel two things at once.
Before I knew it, Johnny was dodging the growing crowd to head straight to where I was. Once again, I crawled out of the void his flustering stare had plunged me into, investing the broken bits of my focus elsewhere. Whatever tangle my mind was in, it only intensified when the boy sat in the seat right next to mine, leaving only an arm's distance between us. I could still feel his eyes on me.
"Y/n," his voice rumbled gently.
All I could hear was the silence of the empty library.
"I'm talking to you, hey," he tried again, it pricked me how patient he sounded.
I was not ignorant, but I also was not a child. Instead of holding a grudge against him for yesterday, I turned my head to give him all my attention, the smallest of smiles on my lips. "Hey," I greeted right back.
Johnny paused for a second, looking down at his hands as if his speech lay scripted on his palms. I couldn't help mirroring his actions. The rings on his fingers had always been intriguing, I wondered if there was a tale engraved somewhere in the richness of them. My eyes narrowed very slightly at the scratches tinting his knuckles with a rose's blush, but it was then that he straightened to look me right in the eye. Consequently, his faded bruises escaped my memory.
"About yesterday," he began, sounding lost yet sincere. When he didn't say anything for another few heartbeats, I aided his wordlessness.
"I'm not as mad that you did not show up as I am at waiting for a train that was not coming, you know?" I said to him, not wanting to be blunt about it. "I was in there for an hour, and it would not have been a big deal had I known that you could not make it. I just. . .I did not know how long to stay before giving up,"
Johnny seemed to have found the right words to frame his side of the story because he nodded in agreement to what I carefully blurted. "I was on my way to you when I said I would be. Something came up, and I wouldn't have coldly bailed if it wasn't as urgent as it was."
I was about to tell him that it was alright, for I saw no lie in the forests of his misty eyes, but he beat me to it. "That does not excuse you having to wait on me as you did. It was a dick move, I shouldn't have," he finished, searching my startled eyes for whatever it was that he hoped to find.
I couldn't help the genuine little smile that teased the warmth of lips. The world whispered to me that this was how far Johnny Orlando's apology went, and it felt refreshing to not see the tiniest of unease swirling in his gaze. There was nervousness in the manner his tongue traced the plump bottom of his flushed lips, his pale cheeks were tinged in the gentlest of crimsons.
"It's alright, Johnny," I assured with a little tilt of my head, that small smile still present.
It was almost as if the boy had discovered once again the confidence that I never noticed he had lost for those insignificant moments.
"The library today, then? Exactly ten minutes past class?" Johnny proposed. I raised a brow rather playfully, "Does the train promise it'll come?" The corner of his lips flickered very slightly but very noticeably, a dimple teasing the edges for a brief second as he confirmed, "It does."
I grinned toothily, "Alright, then. Library at exactly ten minutes past class."
"I'll just have to tell my sister to catch a ride with one of our friends and I'll meet you right there," he told me. My mind flashed to the beautiful Lauren Orlando for a long heartbeat. She was the sun, the kind of poem that just couldn't be put into words.
The final bell for class sang its irritating tune, sending the remnants of the lazy crowd tumbling into their respective periods, marking the end of my conversation with Johnny. I was waiting for him to get up and leave to a seat he genuinely preferred, but the boy made no such move. Instead, he let his bag drop to the floor, allowing it to rest against mine similarly.
Mr. Harris greeted us quite politely as he did every day, announcing the beginning of the last class of the day.
Throughout the following hour, Johnny sat with his forearms flat on the desk, each hand placed on the opposite elbow, chin resting on the back of his palm. To those who looked at him with hooded eyes would see someone sleeping with their eyes open, but he was wide awake, conscious yet disconnected. I didn't know what had him wandering in a place unknown, the lecture or the mess tangling his mind.
But, lost souls were also art, and he was the finest puzzle with no pieces to unriddle.
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"I'll be with you in a bit," Johnny promised when Mr. Harris announced the end of class. I nodded and watched him blend into the bustling crowd before fading into a space beyond reach.
It always baffled me how dedicatedly my peers wasted no moment of their time lingering on campus unless they had a voluntary reason to, their speed amazed me. After the herd of ecstatic students had unclogged the blocked corridors, I made my way to the library at my own leisurely pace.
The enchanting scent of books of all sorts and periods baited me into a space I would happily spend eternity in, blanketed by shelves of boundless fictional realms. Libraries had a pleasant halloo to them, it was a world of all things therapeutic, and I loved how I got to devote so much of my day to it.
Instead of sitting idly like I'd done yesterday, I began scribbling down any and every idea that crash-landed onto the runway of my loaded mind. Johnny and I were already a day behind on drafting out the plot of our story, so it was best to utilize every second we could manage to dedicate to this project together. I hoped that it would not be too much of a task, all that time on books had to come in handy in some way.
Besides, what's better than fabricating a whole world of your own where every speck was drawn to your standards of perfection?
The moment the first track on my playlist flooded through my earphones, Noah Schnapp's grin evaded my mind for a short second. His curious puzzlement of how music was not much of a distraction in getting work done echoed in my thoughts.
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I lost all track of time and sense of surrounding for however long I spent sketching outlines to random plots and incomplete characters. It was when my phone notified me of its low battery that my eyes widened at the time it rubbed in my frowning face. It had been over an hour of me sitting in the library on my own, waiting for a boy who had promised he would come. If it weren't for him, I would not have even been here, packing my stuff up with paralyzed limbs.
It was silly of me to wait outside the library for another fifteen minutes, hoping that Johnny would stumble around the corner and relieve me of another day of having stood me up.
Life, however, was not all that we wanted. Nobody came, and I knew it was time to leave when the lights in the hallway flickered.
With drooping shoulders, a heavy mind, and tired feet, I wondered if the past two days had been fun and games to Johnny. This assignment was crucial for our grade, he was present in class when Mr. Harris highlighted the importance of it, so why was he playing? Why would he leave me waiting for him if he never intended on coming?
I was well aware of how something was going on with the boy, and I had the slightest idea of who held the power to trick his steady mind, but that did not give him the pass to constantly while away my time just because he didn't have any to give.
I made it to the empty parking lot trying to think not about a certain dirty-blond but where I could grab dinner from on the way to my shift at the local library.
I was just about to open the door to my car when I felt a tall presence behind me, a disfigured reflection of an unfamiliar figure painting the driver's window.
Turning around, I had to avoid wincing at the alien face that leered at me, sending an unnerving chill down my spine.
"May I help you?" I addressed, my voice wavering as I took a step back.
The boy had an alien face, I had never seen him around campus. Something told me that even if he was a regular appearance, I'd choose to keep away. He did not have the friendliest of vibes. My thesis stood proven right when he gave me a wicked smile in greeting, crimson lips bruised at the corner, a dimple teasing the dip in his cheeks.
"I come seeking a certain someone you may know as Johnny Orlando,"
If it weren't for how creeped out I was because of this dude, I would have acknowledged his failed attempt at quizzical language.
"You are?" I asked, not trusting him one bit to reveal an acquaintance's whereabouts.
His grin almost faltered, that threatening dimple nearly faded, but the boy steadied himself before his mask could fall off. He took a step closer to me, forcing me to stumble behind till back thudded against my car.
"I am," he began, lips wavering to speak the right words, "a friend, if you may,"
I did not care. He was straight-up lying to me. The alarming mischief in his onyx eyes was enough to warn me. Gulping down the momentary fear, I stood straighter.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know where this Johnny Orlando you speak of might be. He's only a face in the crowd, can't keep track of every person in a herd as big as ours,"
This boy had come looking for a brawl. He reeked of all things meant to avoid. Even if he was honest about being Johnny's friend, I had no way of helping him since I didn't know where he was. I didn't know if this unsettling stranger had bought my lie, but I didn't give him time to call me out.
"I have to get going. This was all I could aid you with," I bid a hasty yet composed farewell, reaching for the door behind my back and opening it before sloppily getting in to lock it.
The boy stepped away, a disturbing crease in his slitted brows. Something was going on in his scary mind, and I knew I had to get away before falling prey to whatever he truly intended on gaining from his unpleasant visit. I wasted no time in driving away, gulping down my uneasiness because I knew that his stare didn't stray from my vehicle till I was entirely out of sight.
I didn't know what it was, but one thing was crystal clear. Johnny Orlando was in trouble, or maybe he was it.
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hope this made you happy
been too long, i miss it and i missed you guys