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7 Bizarre (I)

June 13th
Ellis De Stella Arms & Deals Bazaar.
Underground Ellis De Stella.

[Dog eat dog by Ted Nugent started]
As I entered I was met with a musty smell with faint hints of gun oil, motor oil, dried blood, BBQ, and a mixture of things I couldn't discern. The walls were partially cave with brick and concrete where there was extra support needed. There were massive columns made of brick and twisted steel with rebar welded into the steel to support the brick. The walls between the buisnesses were either tapestry/Tarp/blankets or plywood. The thin walls made for easy views of the displays of the illegal merchandise. Some things you could easily see were automated safe crackers, lock picks and lock pick guns (I bought one), Light Machine guns, full autos, guns with serial numbers knocked off, stolen cars (via Garage above), Gambling, porn, nunchucks, brass knuckles, stolen art, nuclear divices (defunked), illegal car accessories, plate flipping device, explosives, and that stuff you can't quite buy at the store. People down here were from all classes and countries and were making deals and failing at them. Millions of dollars come in and out of this place. It was orginally a submarine factory and made it easy for Illegal transportation, passports, papers, etc.. This place comes with some rules though.

1. CASH ONLY
2. NO ILLEGAL ACTIVITY ABOVE GROUND
3. NO DOCUMENTATION ON SOLD ITEMS
4. IF YOU TALK, YOU DIE
5. ALL SALES ARE FINAL, NO REFUNDS
6. SHOOTINGS ARE TO BE DUALS AND MUST BE IN THE SUBMARINE BAY AT 12PM TO 1PM WITH SUPPRESSED WEAPONS.
7. ALL SHOOTINGS MUST BE WITH SUPPRESSORS
8. NO HEAVY EYE CONTACT
9. NO CAMERAS, PHONES, RECORDERS, OR FILM DEVICES
10. NO SPITTING
11. DO NOT TRUST ANYONE NAMED JOHN SMITH
12. 'Caveat Emptor' LET THE BUYER BEWARE
13. NO POISONS, PATHOGENS, OR BODILY FLUIDS IN FOODS FROM THE KITCHENS
14. NO TAMPERING WITH ALCOHOLIC DRINKS
15. THERE IS NO PRISON HERE, YOU STEAL, YOU DIE!

It says this on signs posted around the cavern. It was also translated in a couple of the main entrances. But being in here after the longest time means people aren't looking for me and with the mask I kind of blend in with the other weirdos around here. I needed to see my old trusty salesman Max Stone, he had the wares I was looking for. The Isles were getting more packed by the minute because another luxury submarine had just shown up. This place was filled with enough stuff that every person in the town above (approx. 2000) could have 90 to 100 pieces of illegal inventory.
[Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap) by AC/DC came on]
I found Max sitting back in his chair taking a nap, I closed the tent door behing me so I could take my hot assed face mask off. This awoke Max (he was a wee bit of a light sleeper).

Max: Which cunt closed me fuckin' air hole.
Me (Jason): It be me, you Aussie bastard!
Max: ayy, the dumb ass with the gimpy brain and broken left testicle show heself...
[He said this in a milla-second as he jumped up from his camp chair]
Me (Jason): yea.....
Max: the fuck ya want, the fuck need, ya cunt?
[He was like a puppy who hadn't seen his owner all day... a very vulgar and a bit retarded puppy]
Me (Jason): Could I have pumpkin cutter, a rope and grapple, wax paper, flour in tiny baggies, finger print scanners, a combination scanner, and a 1940s Swiss kit bag, and rubber gloves.
Max: I can get all of that exept for the flour.
Me (Jason): That's fine.
Max: Do I even ask what half this craup is for?
Me (Jason): I'd rather you didn't...
Max: Usual place?
Me (Jason): No, put it in my trunk. Preferably all in the 40s Swiss Kit bag.
Max: Consider it done!
Me (Jason): how much 'ill that be?
Max: $250
Me (Jason): here, keep the rest as an open tab an just take money out of it when I make an order.
[I wrote down my other savings account number noone talks about]
Max: that'll be fine... Now fuck off... and please do come back.

I walked out of his store and squezed my way through the crowd and out of the Bazaar. There was a certain amount of time I could be there without impulse buying something.