Saving You.//n.h

105.

-Heather's P.O.V

"She's in shock, she won't talk or look away." I stared down at my mothers sleeping figure, my knees brought up to my chest. I stayed awake the whole night, scared that I would lose her in such early time. She didn't deserve this, she's done nothing wrong. She's done everything a mother should do, care and love me. Why? Why did it have to be her to get this stupid cancer? Why couldn't I get it? She doesn't deserve this. I felt like crying more but I knew it wouldn't help, I knew it'd make me worse and my thoughts becoming stronger about losing my mother, I'd end up losing my mind.

"Maybe you should take her home."

"I can't, I have to stay here."

"How long is this going to be going on for? She needs you the most, and you know that."

"I don't want her being around this, she's witnessed so much throughout her life. This is the last thing I wanted her to see."

When I heard footsteps coming closer towards me, I didn't bother turning around. I stayed still, not removing my eyes from the sleeping figure. When I felt a large hand on my shoulder, I shut my eyes for a brief moment.

"I'm not leaving." I said swiftly, not daring to turn around. I heard the familiar sigh that I've gotten annoyed with the past few months.

"You should, she starts therapy in a little while. Go get some rest, you've been up all night." I shrugged my fathers hand off of my shoulder, sniffling. I didn't want to leave, what if I lose her? what if I don't get to say goodbye?

"I can't go, I won't go." When he stepped in front of me, I looked up at him, glaring. "Move dad, I'm not leaving."

"I won't tell you once more, she's sick and needs to go too therapy. I will call you when she's done." I looked up at him shaking my head.

"You don't care about my feelings whatsoever, do you? I said I want to stay here because my mother is sick and dying, and you tell me to go? I can't stand you dad, I fucking can't. You don't care though, all you want is to spend your time alone with her, what about me?" I raised my voice, "what if I can't say my last words because you're being a selfish cock." I stood up from the chair before shoving past him, into the hallway. I stormed towards the elevator, hearing the door slam.

"Heather, wait." I didn't bother turning around as I hit the down arrow several times, feeling my breathing increase. I started crying, Adam standing next to me and rubbing my back. We stepped inside the elevator, staying quiet.

In this moment I need Niall, I needed him to hold me. Kiss me, tell me that he loves me and tells me he won't ever leave me, that's all I need to hear. Tell me that my mother will make it and that she won't give up on me, I can't loose her. I can't loose anyone else.

I stepped inside the large house hearing silence, Adam shutting the door quietly. I slipped off my Vans, my chest tightening as the memories of my mother and I arguing and me ignoring her for no apparent reason. Is this karma or something? If it is, she's hitting me real fucking hard.

I walked down the hallway slowly, stepping into the bedroom and shutting the door behind me. I didn't know what to do, sleep? cry? go back to the hospital? I don't know.

Instead, I sat on my bed with my legs crossed. I stared at the wall, almost waiting for a miracle.

Hoping that she didn't have cancer and it was a false alarm.

But seriously, when does anything go my way?

---

3 days.

3 long, painful days.

I've been locked up in my room, sitting on my bed and just staring blankly at the wall. I've ignored the calls and knocks on my door, drowning out the voice of Adam, and sometimes my father. The only time I left was to brush my teeth or go to the bathroom, or sneak out.