Chapter 48: Anxious

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AMELIA

The photo leak made me anxious and nervous, but it did blow over, just like Chris said it would. 

No one knew who I was, and no one was able to find out either, which meant that it died down rather quickly. 

They had no one to pin it on, no one to blame their hate on, and therefore it subsided within a few days. 

Well, at least online it did. The paparazzi now had a reason to follow him around which meant we often had to dodge them when leaving the lot. 

But the hotel was on complete lockdown, Megan had made sure of that, so they hadn't been able to get anything more than the leaked photo. And since we're not connected anywhere else publicly, they hadn't found anything substantial or found out anything about me. 

But it still rattled me to the core. 

It made me more cautious, especially on the lot, because it was clear that the photo had been taken that day we were in the lounge area. 

That day, during one of the most special moments of my life, when Chris had asked me to be his girlfriend. And now that memory was tarnished because it caused that

None of it is fair, none of it is okay. It's not okay that someone took a photo of us and leaked it. It's not okay that apparently someone working on the set wanted to do that and succeeded. And despite her best efforts, Megan still hasn't found out who it was, which means it could be anyone. 

Nowhere is safe for us, anymore. 

So I made an effort to keep a distance from Chris whenever we were in public. 

He understood, but that didn't exactly make it easy

We were both still gravitating towards each other naturally, but the anxious feeling was wearing me down. 

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After another long day of filming, I'm sitting in one of the chairs to watch the scene being acted out in front of me, but my mind is keeping me too occupied. I'm consumed by my thoughts, the unsettling feeling running through me as I remember the words I read. 

The stuff they said about me. About us. They just keep replaying in my mind, over and over. And I'm worried, all the time. Worried about what it will mean for my future once this comes out. Because at this point, I know it will. 

I just don't think I'm ready for it. 

I don't manage to bring myself out of my head until I hear Chris' voice. 

"Hey," he says gently as he approaches me, "You doing okay?"

I look up at him as he stands in front of me and nod shortly as I mumble, "Yeah, I'm fine.." 

"Ames," he whispers, "Obviously you're not fine." 

I drop my gaze to my hands as he says it. 

These past few days, the only thing that has been able to distract me from my thoughts were Chris. 

Whenever I wasn't kissing him, holding him, or he had his arms wrapped around me, I would think about those comments. 

They were haunting me. 

Taunting me. 

Invading my mind slowly and steadily. 

He sits down next to me with a sigh, "Baby, please look at me." 

I hesitantly lift my gaze to look at him as he says, "It's okay. It went away. We're okay." 

I nod, smiling weakly at him, "I know. But it's still on my mind."

He swallows thickly as his eyes scan my face, "Did.. Did it scare you off?" 

His words make my heart hurt. 

"No, of course not," I quickly say, "I love you. I just need to.. adjust.." 

He breathes out a shaky breath as he smiles faintly, "Okay. Okay, good, yeah. We need to adjust." 

He inhales deeply before smiling softly at me, "And I love you too. Will I see you later?" 

I smile at him, his presence making the dark thoughts subside and it makes me want to cling to him desperately. 

I nod, "Yeah. I'll stay until you're done." 

"Okay, good," he says with a smile as his fingers gently touch my own, "We'll drive home together and then watch a movie, how does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect," I say as my smile widens.

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Once Chris and Taylor are done filming, I say goodbye to Taylor and wait for Chris to finish changing out of costume. 

When he walks out in jeans and a t-shirt I feel my heart fluttering. 

He's still so fucking beautiful, it makes my heart ache. 

"You ready?" he asks as he walks up to me. His hand reaches out, squeezing mine quickly before letting go. 

"Yeah," I say and then we walk over to his car. 

Once we're buckled in, his hand takes mine and he places a kiss on the back of it as he whispers, "Missed touching you today. I hate that we have to stay away from each other."

"Me too," I whisper as I look at him, and then I lean over to place a kiss on his lips. 

He exhales deeply as I do, like he was waiting to do that for just as long as I was, and he immediately deepens the kiss. 

I don't move away from his lips until we make our way closer to the exit gate.

I hear the crowd before I see them. 

I glance out of the window, looking at the people and paparazzi yelling his name, and I hold onto his hand a little tighter as we drive through it. 

'Chris! Who's the woman in your life?"

'Chris tell us about her!'

'Chris, is she with you right now?! Who is she!'

I feel an anxious knot forming in my stomach and I unconsciously try to shift closer to him. 

But I realize I cant when the seatbelt holds me in place. 

"I'm sorry.." he whispers quietly when I keep watching the people outside of the tinted windows. 

I look over at him with furrowed brows, "Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for." 

"I know," he says with a sigh, "Or, I guess I do. I still feel like this is all my fault, though.." 

I lace my fingers with his, "Chris, none of this is your fault. I knew what I was signing up for. I just need to.." I glance back out the window as we pass the crowd, whispering, "Just need to get used to it.." 

When I look back at him, his brows are furrowed and his eyes concerned, "No, you don't. I don't want you to have to deal with this. I need to protect you from it." 

"I wish you could," I respond quietly, "But it's been made clear lately that even if I am protected, or kept hidden, they will still hate me.." 

"But I love you," he quickly says, "And I will keep you safe at all costs. Please baby, you gotta believe that."

"I do," I say hesitantly, "I'm just worried that whatever happens with this will trickle its way into my life. If they find out who I am, what I do.." I shake my head, "I don't know what could happen.." 

"They won't," he quickly says, "I will make sure of it." 


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