5SOS PREFERENCES ( DISCONTINUED )

#107: Close as Strangers - 5SOS (His POV)

question: favorite preference of mine and why?? im genuinely curious 8)

Ashton: "Six weeks since I’ve been away, now you’re saying everything has changed. And I’m afraid that I might be losing you,"

Six entire weeks of not being able to hold her in my arms. Six whole weeks of us being a thousand miles apart. Six fucking weeks of being separated from the one person I couldn't bear leaving almost two months ago. It wasn't like I wanted to leave her, I even wanted to take her along with me but it wasn't possible. I couldn't last that long without her, she even told me that she felt the exact same way but we both promised that we would try our best to stay together. But it was clear that promises were meant to be broken, we both tried to keep it though - we called and texted every single day, we Skyped and facetimed as much as we could, too. There came a time when the phone calls got shorter and the video calls ended after two minutes, that was when I realized that we were fading. But I wasn't going to give up on this relationship just yet, I loved her too much to let her go and I'm not gonna let all our efforts go to waste. Her voice cracked on the other line, snapping me out of my train of thoughts. I blinked a few times to try and recall what she told me before I spaced out, but she spoke up instead, reminding me of what I was desperately trying to forget hearing. "Everything has changed, Ashton. Six weeks is already enough," She had gone from sniffling to full on sobbing in a blink of an eye, I can feel her pain all the way from here and it killed me hearing her so sad. The shitty thing was that I couldn't be with her and hold her, promising it will all be okay when I'm on the other side of the world. I already felt like I was losing her since we started fading, and I was just so afraid to continue losing her with each passing day. "I love you so much. But I can't keep doing this.. I'm-I'm so sorry." The line went dead soon enough, and I dropped the phone to the floor as I felt my chest tighten like crazy, I could feel the hot tears streaming down my face as I started sobbing, breaking down on the floor, leaving myself there to wallow in my own pain.

Michael: "Won’t give up, even though it hurts so much. Every night I’m losing you in a thousand faces, now it feels like we’re as close as strangers,"

My eyes scanned the crowd of people cheering and screaming our names, there were even those who were singing the lyrics to our songs back to us. The feeling of seeing these people enjoy our music was indescribable, but it still wasn't enough to numb out the pain I was feeling inside my chest. Playing shows every single night was something that I've dreamed of doing for years, and now that it was finally happening, I was supposed to be happy. Like, ecstatic that my dreams were finally coming true but I couldn't feel happy at a time like this. Who the hell could feel happy when the one person they loved more than anything just called them up to tell them that they're tired of trying to make whatever this was work anymore? That's exactly what she did before the show began, she rang me up and I happily answered, thinking that she was gonna wish me luck for tonight's show but no - I was greeted with the sound of her crying on the other line, telling me that she was just so sick of trying to make it work. She was tired of fighting for us, and that she couldn't handle a long distance relationship anymore. She made my world come crashing down within a minute, and I was numb by the time came for us to get out there and play the show. Calum knew what happened, he could see it on my face and he could see the way my eyes were dead, they were as dead as my heart. He gave me a pat on the back, telling me to forget all about her for a night and play a fucking rocking show tonight. I tried my best to cheer up and forget about her, but every song seemed to remind me of her and it took so much in me not to cry in the middle of the set. "Thank you, we are 5 Seconds of Summer! Good night!" Luke chirped into the microphone, and all four of us started waving at the crowd before disappearing backstage. I took my phone out of my pocket as soon as I handed one of the stage people my guitar, just to see if she left me any messages telling me it was all a mistake and that she needed me back - but no, I was just getting my hopes up again. I knew that we were already drifting apart, it wasn't the same as it was before and I was getting tired too, but that didn't mean that I was going to give up on us easily. Us is too important for me to give up on, and no matter what happened, I'm not gonna give up on us. "Cheer up, lad," I heard Ashton call out from behind me. I whipped around to see my three best friends grinning at me, and the youngest one stepped up to place his hand on my shoulder. "You two are gonna find your way back to each other someday." He said, giving me the right amount of hope to keep me going for a while. Getting back together with her was gonna take a while, but I was willing to wait. I loved her too much, I'm not gonna give up on this even if it hurts so fucking much.