5SOS PREFERENCES ( DISCONTINUED )

#96: If You Don't Know - 5SOS (His POV)

i just started college so i might not be able to write much so please bear with me :-( CALL 911 ITS A LEAK THERES A LEAK HEL P

Ashton: "If I could say the things that I wanna say, I'd find a way to make you stay. I'll never let you get away,'

I watched as the tears continued to stream down her face endlessly, I knew that I was too late but there was nothing I could do when she already made up her mind. "I'm leaving," that was what she said to me just a few seconds ago, with tears brimming in her eyes and her lip quivering as she clutched her bags in her hand. I've known that the goodbye was coming sooner or later, I've been dreading this and I wished that I could stop her from leaving. There were so many things I wanted to tell her right now - I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me, how much I love her, how much I needed her beside me, how much I couldn't take it if she ever left me. I knew that these wouldn't come out, I just couldn't tell her all of these right now. "I-I'm sorry," That was the only thing I could manage to say, as I took a step towards her, wrapping my arms around her sadly. She cried into my chest, fisting my shirt as she hugged me back, letting out all the hurt into my shirt through her tears. I knew that even if I did tell her how I felt about her, how I truly felt, she wouldn't stay. She wouldn't stay for me, she told me that she didn't need a man to live on and I knew that she wouldn't stay even if I begged her to. I felt her pull away but I hugged her even tighter, I never wanted to let her go. At least, not now as I couldn't bear to carry on without her just yet. "I'm sorry," She pushed me away from her, wiping the tears away from her face with her finger. "I'll see you. Goodbye," She flashed me one of her sad smiles, the ones I've been seeing quite frequently these past few days before leaving me alone in my own misery.

Michael: "Go ahead, rip my heart out. That's what love's all about,"

I've felt this way a few times before today. It's the kind of feeling you get when you get so heartbroken, there's this insanely horrible feeling in your chest that you just couldn't get rid of and it sometimes feels like your heart is beating ripped out from your chest. I've had my heart ripped out before, but none of those times could compare to how painful this one is. This one was the most intense one I've ever had, I felt like I was slowly dying due to the agonizing pain I could feel in my entire body. I loved her, I knew that I shouldn't fall in love with her but it just happened. I fell in love with someone whom I could never call my own. I fell in love with someone who would never feel like this for me. I fell in love with someone who could never love me back, and that's what I was afraid of when I realized that I was developing feelings for her. I was afraid of the hurt that would come to me in the end when she wouldn't return whatever I felt about her. A few tears escaped my eyes and fell onto the piece of paper that she sent me earlier today, telling me that she had already left for another country and told me to never come find her. She ran away from me when she found out that I was madly in love with her, she said that she couldn't handle seeing her best friend so destroyed over the fact that she didn't love him back. She couldn't take seeing me so sad and she told me that she loves me, but not in the way I loved her. But even if she didn't love me back, even if she did rip my heart out, I was still in love with her and I'm sure nothing could change that. Pain is what love's all about, after all. I crumpled the piece of paper, throwing it away hoping that she would just come back and I would apologize over and over again for falling for her. I was aware that it was no one's fault that I fell in love with her, but I was still at fault because she cared about me. She cared and didn't want to see me hurt and so she just left. "Go ahead, rip my heart out," I murmured, burying my head into my hands as her smile flashed in my head.

Calum: "You would scream, we would fight, you would call me crazy, I would laugh, you were mad but you'd always kiss me,"

I didn't even know what to do without her. I couldn't just mask the pain I was feeling inside and tell everyone that I was fine when I clearly wasn't. It's been a few weeks since we broke up, but every waking moment, I find myself missing her and trailing my fingers on my sheets, remembering the way she looked when she was right beside me, fast asleep with her lips slightly parted. I rolled onto my side, facing her side of the bed as I closed my eyes and imagined her lying next to me with a huge smile on her gorgeous face. I needed her back, I couldn't take much longer without holding her and without being with her. Her melodic laughter rang in my head, and all the memories I shared with her this past year flashed through my mind. A certain memory stood out from all of them, and it started when she was running away from me from the streets in the middle of the night. We had another fight about something stupid and irrational, so she ended up running away from me and threatening not to come back anymore. I did what I did best - I ran after her, jumping at her as I wrapped my arms around her from behind. "Don't," I whispered in her ear, lifting her up and throwing her over my shoulder with a grunt. "Let me down, you're fucking crazy!" She yelled, pounding her tiny fists against my back over and over as I walked back to our shared apartment with a triumphant grin. She continued to shriek and pound against my back, making me laugh lightly. I finally let her down when we were inside our house, shutting the door behind me with a smile as she glowered at me. She was beyond pissed, but her face softened after a while then she pulled me in, attaching her lips on my own, moving slowly against it. Her fingers would find my hair and tug on it, while mine would find their place on her waist, squeezing it every now and then with a smile. I choked out a small sob, recalling my favorite thing about fighting with her, knowing that I could never get those back ever again. She was gone.

Luke: "I want you to want me this way, I need you to need me to stay,"

Falling in love with someone had it's ups and downs. There were times when you would feel like you're at the top of the world, but there are also times when you would feel like you're in the fiery pits of hell. You would be the happiest person ever one second, and once something goes wrong involving someone you loved, your world would come crashing down. I know how it feels like to fall in love with someone, it hurts especially when you know that they could never reciprocate your feelings for them. I was foolish and young, I fell in love with the only other girl who acknowledged my existence besides my mum - I fell in love with my best friend. She was just beautiful, she wasn't like all the other girls. She didn't care about how she looked like, or how people would see her. She didn't care about anything else, she was carefree and she had an amazing sense of humor. She was beautiful both inside and out, and it was impossible not to fall in love with someone like her. I've already accepted that she would never see me as anything other than her best friend, but I couldn't help but let the tiny spark of hope inside of my heart that wanted her to want me this way - I want her to want me just as I wanted her. I want her to pull me in and press those soft lips onto mine, telling me that she was blind all this time and I was what she was looking for all along. I want her to want me as badly as I wanted her, that was what I wanted. I grunted when I shoved her bedroom door open with my foot, rushing to place her down onto her bed. She groaned when I let her down gently onto the soft mattress. She got shit faced at a party again, and being the best friend, it was my duty to take her home when she head enough drinks. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing those wonderful eyes I could never tire of even after all these months. She flashed me a small smile, pressing a kiss onto my nose, thanking me for taking her home and telling me that I was the bestest friend a girl could ever have. I tucked her, smiling when she closed her eyes again, drifting off into a peaceful slumber as I walked out of her room. Even if she was drunk, she still couldn't ask me to stay with her. I've done this a million times and she never asked me to stay, not even once. A few tears slid down my cheek, my heart aching for any kind of non-friendly affection from her as I made my way out of her home.