5SOS PREFERENCES ( DISCONTINUED )

#21: Dreaming with a Broken Heart - John Mayer

Ashton: "When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part"

"I love you so much," he says, slipping his fingers in between yours. He shot you a wink and you looked away to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. He seemed to notice this and he just squeezed your hand, causing you to turn to look at him. He gave you one of his sweet smiles, "You are so beautiful." Your cheeks heat up once more and you smiled, looking down at the ground. He gently cups your cheek and whispers, "Why are you so perfect? I don't know why you settle for someone like me," You glanced up at him and frowned, "No, I should be the one asking you that. Look at you, you're absolutely flawless. I don't even know what you see in me, why do you love me?" He didn't answer for a bit, then he suddenly kissed you out of nowhere. You were taken by surprise, but a part of you just told you to kiss him back, and you did impulsively. That was your very first kiss, and it felt absolutely right with him. You could feel his soft lips against yours, and it felt so familiar, even though it's your first. He pulled away and smiled, "I fell for you because I think you're perfect. I love you and all your imperfections, okay?" You nodded and he said, "I'll love you until the end of time, Y/N." There was suddenly darkness, and you sat up, feeling hot tears streaming down your cheeks. You checked the calendar sadly, and made a mental note: 63rd day without him. You wiped the tears away and sighed, you dreamt about that moment again. You wanted so bad to turn back time and return to that moment, because he was yours and you were his. Waking up and facing the reality that he was gone was one of the worst feelings ever. If you could be with him only in your dreams, you never want to wake up. You still love him, and it hurt you so much because you can never get him back.

Michael: "And for a moment you can hardly breathe, wondering, "Was she really here? Is she standing in my room?""

You stared blankly at the walls of your room, taking in the scent of the familiar perfume he used to wear. You glanced at the cabinets, on the far edge of the room where he used to keep is clothes. You wanted to believe that his clothes were still there, but you knew that along with the clothes, the owner of these is also gone. You could feel the tears coming, but you tried your best to blink them back. Your eyes found the bed you used to share with him, and a wave of regret washed over you. You slowly approached the bed and ran your fingers on the cotton bedsheet, remembering all those times you would just cuddle on the bed and talk about everything in life. You two would complain about how Ashton's giggles are too loud at times, and he'd usually complain about Luke being a little shit, although you knew that it was Michael's way of showing how much he loved Luke. He would also tell you about how his day went, and how much food he managed to eat without stopping. He would also complain about how Calum would walk around the house naked, not caring that they were actually living with a girl, and you would just laugh, telling him you were getting used to the nudity with the band. You two would whisper sweet words in each other's ears and then you would proceed to a mini makeout session, and you remembered how you got caught by Luke this one time. That seemed years ago, and you wanted to bring it back. Sometimes you would look around and ask, "Did all those really happen? And was that real, or was it just a dream the entire time? Was he even here?" because it all just seemed unreal to you, now that he's gone. He was like a ghost to you now, and you don't know what to do now. "I miss you, Michael," you whispered as you cried all the pain away on the exact same spot where he used to lie every night.

Calum: "She takes you in with her crying eyes, then all at once you have to say goodbye"

Today was a special day, and you were heading over to your boyfriend's house to celebrate. You used your spare key to unlock the front door, and you were about to come in when you heard him talking to his band members. "So, about Y/N," you heard Michael say. There was a silence that followed before you heard Calum ask, "What about her?" "Dude, you haven't called her or anything. Is there something going on between you two?" Luke asked, sounding really concerned. You looked down, because Calum hasn't really been the best boyfriend these past few weeks. You've always been the one trying in this relationship, doing everything to make it work but you feel like nothing's working anymore, yet you still force yourself to think that this relationship isn't on the rocks. You left him lots of texts and voice mails, reminding him of the special date but he hasn't answered, not one. "I-I just don't think I feel the same way about her, like I used to," you heard him say. You could feel the tears build up, you knew you shouldn't listen to this any longer, but you wanted to. You needed to. "Why not?" Ashton asked. You swallowed the lump in your throat, to prepare yourself for the answer that followed - "It just happened, feelings fade over time, right? I know it sounds mean but I just don't... love her that much anymore." Those words destroyed your entire world. You opened the door slowly and all the boys turned to look at you, shock and sadness seen on their faces. You walked up to Calum, lips quivering and asked, "Y-you don't love me anymore?" The tears finally came, streaming endlessly down your face, and he looked away. "Don't you dare look away from me, Calum, look at me." You spat, and he slowly turned to look at you. "Answer the damn question," you say, hatred spilling in every word. "I'm sorry, I don't.. anymore.." He says slowly, tears brimming. You broke down sobbing and the three boys behind him ran over to you, comforting you. "Just please," you croaked. You looked up at him with pleading eyes saying, "Just please-t-take it back. Please take it back, I-I love you C-Calum, don't d-do this to me, I love you!" His own tears rolled down his cheek and he just wiped them away with his wrist as he looked at you seriously, "Goodbye, Y/N." You ran out of the house, dropping the gift you were hiding in your hands. Yes, it hurt so much to know that he doesn't feel the same way. The worst part is that he said this exactly one year after he said the exact opposite - this was the anniversary of his confession. Life just doesn't want you to be happy, you thought, sobbing away all the hurt inside.

Luke: "Wondering, "Could you stay my love? Will you wake up by my side?" No she can't, 'cause she's gone"

You were staring at the empty space beside you that he used to fill every night you slept together. It was empty, and you honestly also felt so empty inside. A tear escaped your eye when you heard that line playing on the radio, "Wondering, "Could you stay my love? Will you wake up by my side?" No she can't, 'cause she's gone," You didn't want to leave him behind that day, but you had to. His love for you was for too great, and this was the cause of the argument between him and his band. They were to go to London for recording, but Luke didn't want to leave you behind. You were the one who was holding him back from living his dream - he loved you too much and he couldn't leave you alone. You knew that he wanted this more than anything, and he's always wanted this, even way before he met you. This was what he was born to become, and you were holding him back from all those amazing stuff. You knew you were going to regret it, but it's for him. You were doing this for him. Yes, you thought right - you ended things with him, but you still loved him. You regret your decision everyday, but if it was for his happiness, you would gladly sacrifice yours for his. And now, months later, he had 1.2 million twitter followers, hundreds of thousands of fans, and everything was going well for him. Even though that was months ago, you still couldn't get over him. You were going to break up sooner or later, he can still find someone else to fall in love with. But passing on an opportunity to live your dream? That only comes once in a lifetime, which is why you thought it was a good idea. You know it's making him happy, how he gets to meet all of the people who adore and love him, how he gets to play his songs in front of more than twenty thousand people, how he gets to live his dream while you silently cheered for him in the sidelines. "Do you ever think of me?" You asked the heavens, as if they would bring your words to Luke himself. You chuckled, adding, "Who am I kidding? I'm the one who's gone. I'm the one who left... but," a faint smile played on your lips. "You're living your dream, that's what matters. I love you, Luke." you say to the heavens once more, before falling back into a slumber.