Saving Myself (Law and Order)

Chapter 18♡

(Olivia's P.O.V)

It was peaceful in the hospital. All I needed was my little girl. I didn't need Elliot. My nightmare confirmed it. He cheated on me. With a lady called Linda. Why did I even trust him in the first place? I should of just stayed on my own. As I had some more rest, I heard the nurse talking to someone. "Yeah. She seems calm now. But, she wasn't feeling so good earlier. Great. I'll see you soon." Just taking a look at my little girl, she took my finger. "We'll be ok little one. Mommy will always protect and love you ok? Mommy just needs time." I was shattered. The love of my life just stamped on my heart and my feelings. "Liv?" Amanda and Nina had come to visit. "Hi you two." They cooed over Paige. "She's so beautiful. Look at her." They both sat down. Talking about Seth and Carisi. "Well, Seth has planned everything. He's so ready to become a dad." Amanda cuddled Paige.. she was really content. "Where's Elliot?" Sitting up, I started to cry. "Ahhhh Liv.. what's happened?"

Telling them everything, they sympathized with me. "The nightmare was awful. I'm now convinced that he'll never change. I told him to leave me alone with Paige. How am I supposed to trust him after what he did?" Nina raised her eyebrows at me. "Liv.. we know that you're defensive. You love him so much. I know what he did was wrong. You and him were not together then. But, if you need a break, we'll support you." Asking Nina more about her arrival, she said that her baby boy was already so loved. "He just wants to spoil him." How could I tell my 2 best friends that I was having nightmares? That I'd had a relapse? "She's adorable." Amanda kissed her nose. "Yes you are. Let me give you back to your mom.' As Amanda relaxed, she advised me. "I'll support you in any way. You and him were going through a bad time. Are you sure you're ok?" Touching my baby's cheek, I just cried.

'No. I'm not. I've relapsed." Nina took my hand as Amanda stroked my shoulder. 'It's ok. You're going to be fine." Showing them my scar, I just sighed. "I just want to focus on Paige." Telling them that I had to see the therapist, I sighed. "I need sleep." They both got ready to go. "We'll talk soon ok? I'll ring you tomorrow." Leaving me with the counsellor, he came to sit down. "Congratulations Olivia.' Thanking him, he sat down. "So, tell me how you're feeling." Letting tears flow, I just told him the truth. "I had a nightmare. About the woman that Elliot cheated on me with. She kept me locked up.. told me everything. That she kissed him." The counselor then wrote things down. "How did you react when you woke up?" I admitted that I was scared. "I shouted at Elliot. Told him to leave. I'd just given birth. He was so supportive. Kind. Sweet." The counsellor advised me. "You've done so well with confronting your personal demons. Elliot will understand why you acted this way. There is nothing to be ashamed of." I'm glad that the counsellor thought that. "Oo.. she's stirring." Picking up my girl, I stroked her cheek as tears fell from her eyes. "Mommy's ok.. she's going to be fine." As the counsellor left, he reminded me about the elastic band. "Don't beat yourself up about your relapse. Things will be ok."

As I held her, my phone rang. It was Barba. "Hey you. Yes, she's here now. Are you? Yeah. Come up to the ward." As I burped her, she slowly turned her head. "You are so beautiful." Seeing Barba made my evening. "Hello you." Hugging me, he stroked Jade's cheek. "It's nice to meet you." He sat down as he looked at me. "Something's up Liv. You can tell me." I knew he was going to say that.

"I just want to focus on this little one. How was work for you today then?" Yawning, he said that he was really good. "Lots of cases need defense. Anyway, enough about me. What's happened with you and Elliot?" The one thing I couldn't do was lie to him. "We've just had some troubling times. Would you like to hold her?" He sat up. Saying yes, I handed her to him. "Well aren't you a cutie?" He snuggled her as I told him more. "He cheated on me a few months ago. I had another nightmare. I screamed at him.. told him to leave. The thing is, I love him so much. He's called me lots of time since I told him to leave. "Yes.. you're adorable.' He looked up from her cute face. "Well, all I can say is that only time will tell. Obviously, he loves you. I'm not sticking up for him. What he did to you was awful. I know you. You shut people out." Jade looked comfortable with him. "I'll call him." Picking up my phone, I dialled the number. "Hi. Yes, I'm fine. Are you able to come back to the hospital?" Hearing him say yes, my heart fluttered. "Ok. I'll see you soon." Barba handed Jade back over to me. "You know that I'm right." Kissing her forehead, Barba said that he would see me soon.