Saving Myself (Law and Order)

Chapter 133♡

(Alex's P.O.V)

I felt a little chilly. Bringing the blanket up to my body, I thought about Zack and Tyler. I loved my sons so much. My life wasn't always great though. Being with Chris was hard. He knew that he had a problem. He was just in denial. Not knowing if he was going to relapse again was really daunting. He was really good at convincing me and himself..

"Dad?" Tyler was up again. He could hear him vomiting. He'd been drinking again. Looking at my phone, I saw the date. August 10th. It was Jackie's anniversary. He missed his mom so much. Opening our bedroom door, I saw Tyler sitting on the stairs. 'Hey you." Tyler looked at me. A look of sadness crossed his face. "Why does Dad drink?" I cuddled him. "He's poorly honey." I then saw Zack. "Dad's been out again right?" Zack was sick of his behaviour. My mom Caroline was really worried. Hearing him flush the chain, I kissed the boys on the forehead. "Night mom. Love you." I said that I loved them too. "Aleex..." He was slurring his words. "Where.. are.. my.. sons?" I steadied him as he stood up. "They are in bed Chris. Look sweetie, I know that you are missing your mom. Especially today. It's her anniversary." Chris laughed. "You don't need to tell me that! I know!" I rubbed his shoulder. "Let me get you a glass of water." Getting him one, I took my phone. Texting my mom, I tried not to cry. I had to be strong.

End of flashback..

The kids were amazing. Both of them were doing well. Tyler was doing well in school and Zack was great at sports. Tyler had been dealing with a lot of anger though. I think it was because of how Chris used to act. Hearing him head upstairs, I wiped a stray tear away. "You get more stunning every day." I smiled at him as he slid into bed next to me. "Thanks. Did you have another meeting with your sponsor tonight?" He nodded. "Yep. It's been 4 months since I've had a drink." I kissed him. "I'm really proud of you babe. Chris, you're much better with the boys now." He agreed. "I think I am too."

Talking about his problems, my mind went into overdrive. It was racing so much with negative thoughts that I just couldn't stop thinking. "Alex? Baby?" Shocking back into reality, he asked me if I was ok. "Do you think I'll be ok?" Chris stroked my cheek. "Baby. I love you. You've already done so much for me. I know that me drinking didn't make things any easier. You've had to put me first." He was right. "I need to just focus on me."

He kissed me. "I'll still make sure that you're ok, but I just need time to get myself back together.' Chris agreed. "I'd like to sleep now."

At about 3am, I heard Tyler. He was crying. Heading to the boy's bedroom, I knocked on the door. "Hey Mom." My son's face was patchy. "Oh sweetie." Tyler said that he was just scared. "Dad said that he's trying to get sober. But, he's made empty promises before.."

"What's the point Alex?" He had been drinking for hours.. the boys were out at their after school activities. "How long have you been like this?" He just laughed. "I dunno. I couldn't.. care. Less." He kept drinking. "Chris. We have kids. Our children are suffering. Taking the bottle out of his hand, the room reeked of alcohol. He needed a shower. "Let me help you." He slapped me across the cheek. Wincing, I helped him up. "Get off me." Showering him, he just kept muttering. "I'd like another beer if that's ok with you Alexxx.."

Sitting on the stair with Tyler, he continued to cry. "Mom." I stroked his hair. "Yes baby?"

"I think you're amazing. Me and my brother just want dad to get better." Hugging him, I promised him that he would get better. Heading back into his bedroom, I went back to bed. Chris faced me. His blue eyes were looking back at me.

"I love you so much Chris." Stroking his cheek, his lips slowly touched mine. "I love you so much as well Alex." Taking his hand, he promised me that he was going to continue to open up. "I'm going to keep my promise."

(Amanda's P.O.V)

"Thanks Olivia. That's given us a lot to think about. Give my love to Elliot and the kids. See you soon." Sitting up in bed with my love, he asked me how the conversation went. "Well, she gave me as much information as she could. We could pop down to the agency tomorrow and take the girls." He kissed me. "That sounds fantastic." Carisi and the girls certainly had something up their sleeves. They'd been having secret meetings and chats when I wasn't around. I guess that I will have to wait and see what the surprise is.