Saving Myself (Law and Order)

Chapter 60♡

Authours Note: Wow! I cannot believe that I'm writing Chapter 60 now. I never imagine my stories to be popular. First of all, I would like to thank DayyyFanyyy, NauticalAnchor  MariskasAngelsand Princess_OliviaB for being so supportive. I'm really pleased at how far all of you have come in terms of writing! And you're all such sweet people. Thank-you for everything.

Lauren♡

(Nina's P.O.V)

Today was going to be ok. Simon had the day off work. He slid his arm around me. Kissing my neck, I felt goosebumps on my hand. "Last night was lovely. Our little boy went out like a light." Axel was getting into a routine now and it was lovely. "He certainly did. What are we planning to do today?" Facing him, he stroked my cheek. "Not much." He then kissed me. We had been going out for about 9 months now. Axel wasn't biologically his since Seth had.. it was difficult to talk about. 'Maybe we could take little man out for a stroll, go to the park." I smiled. "That sounds great." Hearing him cry, I sat up. "Well, good morning baby.." He looked at me. His big brown eyes were so cute. I was breastfeeding so I undid as Simon got up. "I love it when you're shirtless. It's cute babe." He winked. "Me being shirtless was what got us in trouble." I giggled as I stroked Axel's small little hand.

As he went to shower, I got a text from Liv.

Morning. How are you? How's my little nephew?xx

I texted her back. She loved him so much. "Oo.. baby." As I got ready to burp him, I continued to text her.

He's great. Simon has been so helpful. He loves him so much. How's Elliot and the kids?💗Xx

As he cried a bit more, I soothed him, he settled down a bit. I then saw Liv's reply.

Elliot has been a bit ill recently. I actually need someone to talk to. Could I come over?💕

This must be serious. I rang her whilst hoisting Axel over my shoulder. "Hey. Are the girls ok?" She said yes.. taking a deep breath. "They are great. Elliot is suffering from PTSD. Nina, I've barely slept." I just let her vent. "He's not admitted that he's suffering yet, but I know the signs. He's having a lot of nightmares. He's been raising his voice a lot." I sympathized with her. "Have you tried seeing a counsellor?" I laughed. "I've tried that.. but you know what he's like." She remembered. "How about you talk to him about he's feeling? No talk about the PTSD.. Just ask him how he's truly feeling." She said that was a good idea.

"How's things between you and my brother?" Nina giggled. "Things are great. He's so attentive. Like, we are honestly in our own little bubble." Liv then cooed.. saying that she was happy for us. "How about I come over to you tomorrow night? We can just have a mini catch up?" She said that sounded good. "Bring Amanda too. See you tomorrow!" When we finished our conversation, Simon took Axel. "Thank goodness. You two can talk forever!" I kissed him. "Come on little man. Let's go and get your breakfast." As they went downstairs, I closed the bathroom door.

Aniexty fills me all the time. What if Simon finds out? Seth sexually assaulted me. Axel is a product of one horrible night. Seth is the father of my gorgeous baby boy. He used to get SO blind drunk. It was disgusting. He would hit me. Tell me I was awful. Me and Simon are intimate.. but I wanna sometimes push him off me.. and just cry my eyes out.

Getting in the shower, I decided to push my thoughts to the back of my mind. I've not told Liv or Amanda anything..  I'm too ashamed. It was too much. Washing my face, I then wrapped the towel around my body. Figuring out what to wear, I decided on my figure hugging jeans with my black blouse. Sorting myself out, my phone rang. It was my mom. "Hey Mom. Yep. We can meet you at the park? Aw, he'll love that. See you soon. Love you too." After brushing my hair, I got my bag ready. Heading downstairs, I saw Simon standing near the worktop with Axel in his hands. "Hello gorgeous.' I blushed. Kissing me, I smiled. "Let's go to the park." As he placed Axel in his carseat, I hopped in the car. "Are you driving babe?" He nodded. "Why not?" As we drove out to the park, he spoke to me about work.

"It's alright. It's getting busier.. but I'm working hard for our little family." I couldn't decide what I actually wanted to do with my life. I was a mum, but I wanted to have a career as well. As we parked up near the shops, Axel squealed. "Yes baby. We are here now." I took out the pushchair. "You're so cute." As we walked along the pathway, we saw my mom. "Hello Simon. Aw, my beautiful daughter. How are you?' Hugging her, I said that I was doing well. "Look at my little grandson.." As she cooed over him, we caught up. "So, your dad is doing just fine. He's stopped work for a bit so he's doing jobs around the house. We are planning to take a break away somewhere soon." I was really happy to hear that. "Axel is just adorable Mom. I'm glad that you're here with us." Mom then asked me about the situation with Simon. 'He's honestly amazing Mom. I really like him.. There is just.." As he looked over at me, I internally  panicked. "Babe.. what's wrong?" I got up, and just walked away.. "Gloria?" Mom looked at Simon as I walked away. "Something is wrong with my daughter Simon. She wouldn't walk away for no reason."

I couldn't tell Simon.. he would leave me. He was a really nice, sweet and attentive guy. How could I tell them that my ex had sexually taken advantage of me and that he was raising a child who wasn't biologically his? As I took deep breaths, he found me along with mom sat down near the riverbank. "Babe.. are you ok?" I broke down in tears. "I.. just.. I can't." Asking Mom to give Axel to me, I went back to the car. "Sweetheart. Talk to me." I held Axel and just cried. Mom looked at me through the car window. "I can't.." Simon knocked on the window. "Nina.. babe. I really love you. And Axel. Please.. even if it's just you and me. You can tell me anything. You know that." Mom then opened the car door. "I'll take Axel for a walk. You two talk." Simon hopped in, thanking Mom. "I'll be back soon. Here's his baby bag." She slipped it on the pushchair. "See you soon." As Simon faced me, he took my hand. "Take your time.. I'm here."