Saving Myself (Law and Order)

Chapter 10♡

(Elliot's P.O.V)

Holding her, she told me to let go. "Liv.. come on. You're ok.. you're safe." Trying to shuffle out of my grasp, she started to just tear up. "Leave me alone! I'm fine!" Walking away, I found our car parked across the road. I knew what she was going to do. "Babe.. what's going on?" She had been crying. Over the past few days, her behaviour seemed off. We'd made love.. but after that, she retreated into herself. "I'm just going to see the counsellor." Elliot looked at me. He was concerned. "I'm fine."

Walking back inside, I decided to let her have space. "She'll be ok Elliot." Munch rubbed my shoulder. We'd both lost something so big.. Dealing with it was hard enough. Getting on with some paperwork, Nina rang me. "Yeah. No, Liv went to her counselling. She's not in a good way. I'll see her tonight. Thanks Nina. You're a good friend." After work, I went for a quick drink. Looking at the time, I saw that the clock read 6.15pm. Getting a cab home, I rang Liv. "Hi you. You're amazing." She started crying. Sitting up a bit more, I just listened to her. "The counselor heard you out." As the cab reached the apartment, I got out. Walking up the stairs, I unlocked the door. The phone call ended. All I heard was a sobbing noise.. Opening the front door, I just saw spots of blood.. "Liv.."

Walking towards her, she looked up at me. 'I.. didn't.. know.." Putting my arms around my love, she just sobbed. Looking at her arm, all I could see was patches of blood. Red scarlet spots  were decorated over her. Sorting her out, I quickly texted Nina and Amanda. As I helped her undress, she looked vacant. Stroking her cheek, she stepped in. As I switched on the shower, she flinched.. "Ell. I'm awful." Placing my hand on her growing bump, I reassured her. "You're not awful babe. I think that you're amazing." I could feel our little one kick. It was the best feeling ever. She kept flinching as each kick intensified.. " Come on.." Switching off the shower, I wrapped the towel around her shoulders.. letting another towel cover her bump. Helping her, she spoke softly. "I can't be a mom to this baby.. counselling was a waste of time. My mother messed me up."

I remember her mom all too well. She was good.. but she was also very selfish. Liv has to grow up very quickly. As she laid on the bed,  held both of her hands. "Our little princess or prince will love you SO much. I already feel connected to our miracle." A smile grew on her face. "I was 6 days clean of hurting myself. 6 days. Now, I have messed it up." Kissing her, she allowed me to just touch her. "A scar.. no matter how bad it is, always tells a story." I was very wise. All I wanted to do was make sure that she and our baby were ok. "Listen you. Mommy just needs you to behave." Her smile grew even more as I continued to talk to her stomach. "Kick, kick, kick. Looks like we have a new sports star on our hands." I squeezed her hand.

Asking if I could ring Amanda and Nina, I gladly dialled their numbers. She decided to get some rest. As I went downstairs to make some food, I rang them both. "Yeah. She's ok. Not great. I'll need to accompany her to another session. Nina asked when we were going away. "I've booked the hotel stay for tomorrow." Amanda cooed. "I'm glad that I'm able to just take her mind off so many things. Would you two be able to come over like now?" Both of them said yes. "She would love to see you both.." Nina said that she would bring over some drinks. "She'll love a smoothie or something. She's craving watermelons at the moment. First it was pickles." Amanda asked if she could bring some flowers. "Of course. She would love that."

Making up a club sandwich, I saw that my mom had rang. Ringing her back quickly, I went to relax in the living room. "Yeah. How's Charlie doing? Oh good. Liv isn't so good. Yep. Your grandchild is OK so far Mom. I'm happy that my brother is alright. Taking her away this weekend. We just need some time together. I'll tell her. See you soon. Love you." Hearing the door bell, I went to answer it. "Hey you two."   Holding a watermelon smoothie in her hand, I asked Nina how she was getting on with her pregnancy. "Well, I'm still in the early stages. Sickness isn't fab." They giggled as I told them that Olivia has been very hormonal, grumpy and quite fussy  about what she can't wear. "She's always wanting to wear pyjamas or jogging bottoms." 

Cleaning my plate, I went up with them. "Surprise!" Amanda walked in with Nina as I popped my head in. "What are you two doing here?" She sat up as I got my stuff. "Your lovely boyfriend called us saying that you needed some girl time." She blushed as her eyes lit up looking at me. I adored her smile. "I'll leave you girls to it."

As I showered, I just thought about how life was going to be. Would she ever be able to just be open as normal? I was really worried for her. Once I'd finished, I got ready in the bathroom. Inviting Nina and Amanda around was a good idea. She seemed a bit calmer. All I had to do was to be there.