Miss Independent

95

I've been pregnant for like 5 months now and I'm getting huge...me and Odell don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet because every time we go for the gender ultrasound our baby has its legs closed and it's driving me crazy.

Me and Odell on the other hand have been getting along better he's around more, we spend time together, almost like a normal couple but I haven't fully forgiven him yet. He's always here though but he's never spent the night I won't let him and he knows it, I don't want things to just be so easy that he feels that he can walk all over me.

Right now I'm feeding Carter her milk and Kenzie is playing with Ava who is huge now. Sonny is outside with Odell throwing a football around...and that's how our days usually go when we have off days.

"Hey babe." Odell says as he walks in. "Hey Odell." I reply. He walks over to the couch and lays down with his head on my lap, all over little miss Carter. "Let me get these kids changed for your dinner tonight!" Mama Gina says as she comes in and takes Carter from me and takes Ava in her other hand. "Sonny come on let's go it's bath time." She yells at Sonny who is struggling with his shoelace by the door. "Kenzie you too!" She yells at Kenzie who was going to pretend she didn't hear her so she didn't have to go get ready and stop playing. She runs behind Gina and Sonny is hot on her tail too.

"Are you sure she's your sisters kid?" Odell says playfully referring to the how Kenzie acts. "Honestly I've never told anyone this but sometimes I imagine, or more like think, that Kenzie is me and Chris's baby, they would of been the same age and everything so I don't know but sometimes I feel like she was always meant to be my own." I say to him. "Nah, don't ever say that again, that's me and you's child, Christian never deserved a daughter like her, I know that, that little girl was meant to be ours, not just yours.." he says to me. "but let me go help Gina out so she doesn't spend to long getting them ready." He says as he hops off the couch. I watch his phone slide out of his pocket and I get an urge to check it.

I grab it and I look around and make sure he's out of sight, I open it and go to his texts. I see a text from a few days ago from Zendaya saying hey, you haven't been answering any of my calls/messages can we meet up? I miss you. Odell didn't even open it he just left it, I however don't care to much and open it. I scrolled for a while until I noticed that he hasn't responded to her in months, she texts him occasionally. I send myself her number because honestly I want to meet up with her and talk, I don't know about what but I do want to talk, I kind of want to bash her face in...but also talk.

I quickly text her from my phone and just say hey, this is Odell's baby mother, we have a few things to talk about. I send. I then go back to Odell's phone and start scrolling through his pictures, all which are of me and the kids, I might add.

"Having fun there?" Odell says as he comes behind me and grabs his phone. I jump from shock because I wasn't expecting him. "I'm sorry.." I say softly. "Don't, you're my wife you can check my phone whenever you want." He replies. "Alright so where are your sexy pictures?" I ask him playfully. "Check your messages, they all in there." He replies.

———

So it's the next day and Zendaya asked me to meet up with her today. I wanted to be petty and bring the kids but I'm not going to drag my children into this and Odell is watching them at home, I told him I'll only be gone for 30 minutes and I'm sure it won't be longer than that.

I drive up to the restaurant she wanted to meet at. I leave my car in valet and then I basically march in with my big belly and all. I spot her at a table looking around and for some reason I see her as a little girl but me and her are the same age.

"Hey.." I say as I take a seat. "Hey Alexis." She says. "So look I just want to talk because we both obviously like Odell." I say calmly. "Well he hasn't really been talking to me lately." She says in her sweetest innocent voice possible. "I know.." I respond as I look down at my pregnant belly and place a hand on it. "Wow, you're pregnant.." She says I can hear the disbelief in her voice and almost a sting of jealously. "It's Odell's right?" She adds. "Yes it is his, it's always going to be his." I say. "Well congratulations." She replies. "I always knew he had a thing for you, he always had you on his social media and took you everywhere.." She says. "He's been lying to you, also me, but me and him are married, we have 4 kids and one on the way, me and him are a couple." I say as I hold my hand and show her my ring. "I've been sleeping with your husband?" She asks me. I nod in response. "Look I'm sorry, but Odell ain't tell me this." She says. "Well it's not your fault, but I'm telling you now, me and him are together and I'd really love it if you'd just leave him alone.." I reply. "Okay, I can do that...but Odell is on his way here now."

I sigh and I hope he left our babies with the nanny because honestly I'm annoyed that Zendaya is texting him. "Look I invited him to come when I got here because I wanted him to clear the air." She says. "Well he was at home with our kids." I say with a slight attitude.

I sit patiently sipping on water while I wait for Odell who is still skating on thin ice with me. Zendaya looks nervous almost like she's waiting for Odell to tell her something different but I hope he's not going to come her to be captain save a hoe because then we will really be done for good.

"Hey baby." Odell says as he kisses my cheek and slides in next to me in the booth. I see Zendaya almost cringe at the sight of us. "Hey.." I say. I kind of feel bad for her because I bet she really fell for Odell but it's not my fault she's stupid.

"Hey Z." He says to her. "So I'm guessing she really is your wife?" She says. "Yeah this is wife, I'm sorry I lied." He says. I had to almost catch myself from scoffing because that's all he had to say to a woman that he's been carrying and entire relationship with?

"I did like you, don't get me wrong, but Alexis is my wife. I love her more than I love anything in this world man..." Odell says and I have to hold myself from smiling. "But I thought you loved me..?" Zendaya says barely audibly. "Maybe I led you to believe that, but you know I've never said that word to you, the only person I've said it to is Alexis." He replies.

"Well I'm sorry for trying to get between your marriage, but I think I should just go, there isn't anything for me here." She says as she quickly gets up and walks away.

"Odell, Aw, I want to cry for her.." I say and I'm serious. I feel awful for her because it's not her fault but on the other hand I love Odell, and I don't want to be without him so here I am forgiving him yet again.

"Odell look can we take this time for us to actually talk?" I ask him. However it seems like all we've been doing is talking, talking basically in circles.

"Yes, I want to talk." He says. "Alright well for starters, I never filed for a divorce." I say quickly. I quickly watch Odell's eyes light up. "So does this mean what I think it means?" He asks grinning from ear to ear.

"Yeah, I ultimately chose that I'd rather not be without you, but you cannot cheat on me again, I'm not strong enough to go through those feelings again, I don't know if you know but I was depressed, not the kind that I think I'm just sad but I actually went and got diagnosed with depression." I say to him and I watch his face fall.

"What...? you never told me this?" He says extremely confused. "I didn't tell anyone, it was something I dealt with by myself, well I'm still dealing with. When I was at my lowest it was pretty bad. I kept having these bad thoughts. When things got really bad I just felt these feeling where I wanted to hurt myself, and I couldn't get it out of my head.." I say but I trail off because the lump in my throat stopped me.

Odell's eyes begin to get watery as he process what I just told him. He places his head into his hands, I could tell what I just told him really got to him.

"I'm an idiot.." is all he says. "I don't deserve you, I can't even fathom the idea of you thinking things like that or being so sad that you just want a way out...because when I think of you I think of my beautiful happy wife, the girl that I met in the coffee shop all those years ago, the woman that is see in my dreams, the woman that I would give anything for, even my life if it came to it, and yet I still didn't treat you like you were enough..." Odell says as he tried to suppress tears. "Look can we go home?" I ask him. I don't want to be here and I can't talk about this anymore.