Miss Independent

46

Me and Alexis got some puppy love going on. It's been almost 5 months of her not remembering me and I'm learning to accept it. We aren't even really dating it's just a casual thing that we spend a lot of time together but at least it's something. She's going to my games and we are getting along pretty well but it's pretty weird. I'm not to pressed on it though I'm just going with the flow and she is doing the same thing.

I'm on my way to her house like always, I think imma take her over to my apartment finally. It's the first time she's ever been there so I was cleaning up all last night.

When I arrive to her parents house they let me in, I say hi to them and then I run up the stairs to her room. "Hey Lex." I say as I give her a hug. "You alright?" She asks me. "I'm straight." I reply. She is referring to my game yesterday that after I was complaining about my ankle but it was just a bruise. "It was just a bruise." I add. "Ohh that's good then, I thought you got hurt." She says. "Anyways how's the spa planning going?" I ask her. "I started last week, I don't know all these ideas, are incomplete I feel like the half of them is gone with the rest of me. I see potential though." She says to me. "I hope so you know it's all you talked about." I say. "Anyways come on I want to see your place." She says to me. "Alright let's go." I say to her. I follow her down the steps and we go out and into my car.

I drive over to my apartment and she's just looking around. I nervously lead her up the stairs but honestly this apartment doesn't have to much in it. It's just a temporary thing, I thought at least.

"Wow it's nice, it looks like you just moved in though." She says to me. "I keep the minimum." I say to her. "Okay that's a lie.." she says to me rolling her eyes. "But you got a mess...I'm bout to clean this all up cause it's bothering me." She says in a playful tone. "Alright suit yourself." I reply. She goes all around cleaning up stuff and I don't pay attention to her I just watch tv until she's done.

"I don't know why you cleaning, now you going tell people I had you in here cleaning my place." I say as she comes and sits next to me with her head leaning on my shoulder. "I guess I wanted to so I don't think you going here that coming out of my mouth." She says.

"You sure?" I say as I look down to her. "I'm sure Dell." She replies. She kind of stares into my eye and then she moves her head closer to mine and plants a kiss on my lips. This is the first kiss we've shared since she lost her memory. I moved some so I could pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. Her hands were on the back of my neck so she could pull me closer. I kept my hands on her back even though my instinct was to slide them to her ass. When we pulled away breathlessly, she climbed off my lap and wiped her mouth.

"I'm sorry..." she says shyly. "For what?" I ask. "Just kissing you out of no where." She says. "Wouldn't be the first time you've done it." I reply playfully. She rolls her eyes and sits back on the couch. She's still a little shy but she's more comfortable around me now and I'm okay with it. It's a slow process but things are better than expected.

---

A few weeks later, me and Alexis see each other and talk here and there, but still nothing to serious. She's been looking at places to move to, and she just got cleared for driving! I don't want her to get her own place but it was bound to happen. I mean she can't live with her parents forever. However she hasn't had any luck finding anything she wants so I'm pretty happy about that as twisted as it is.

I been working on football trying to keep busy, and I'm back on my football track even though everything with Alexis got me beyond stressed. I'm able to keep it together. Aaleeyah had turned into my best friend because she's been helping me get through it. I guess I should be over it by now but I'm not...I'm still upset about everything but I can't change it, and I'm tired of trying and wishing for a miracle.

Alexis texted me that we needed to talk, so I agreed to meet her at the location for her spa, which is being remodeled now to fit what she needs. I'm just leaving practice and I can't tell I'm pretty distant from the guys lately, it's just I don't want them to know that I ain't good, it could ruin our game, so I put on a tough face and I suck it up.

I drove over there and I'm not to sure what she wants because she's always so unpredictable. It's not new though she's always been like this so I'm taking it day by day.

When I get there she looks conflicted to see me so I'm a little worried. It's probably nothing but I quickly get out of my car and walk up to her.

"Hey." She says nervously. "Hey what's up?" I ask her. "Well I've been thinking.." she starts then pauses to take a deep breath. "You've been doing a lot of that lately." I reply. "Stoppp!" She whines. "Anyways I think we should part ways at least for now, I know that we were together but maybe that time in my life I was ready for a man but I'm not now, I have to much I have to figure out." She says to me. This is the final straw that broke the camels back. I'm trying to fight back tears because I don't want to part ways with her, I'm extremely attached and I can't accept the fact that I lost her. "I understand." I reply even though in my mind all I can say is bullshit! She's done this before and it's always some bullshit she always wants it hard for me.

"Odell look I'm sorry I understand the chemistry between us but it scares me I want to be single and not worry about hurting you while I figure things out." She says to me. "Hurting me?" I ask. "I mean like ending up not wanting to be with you...then what? After I waste your time I end up wanting to not be with you? I'd rather figure it out on my own without collateral damage." She says to me. "Alright I wish you the best princess." I say. She walks towards me and embraces me in a hug. I kiss her forehead and I wrap my arms tight around her.

"I'm sorry." She says trying to hold back tears. "Don't worry about it, I just want you to be good.." I say as I stroke her hair. "I still want to be cool, and I'll pay you back for everything you've done for me, but just at least be my friend for now." She says to me.

"I don't want a penny nor a dime from you, I just want you to focus on yourself, alright? You still got me though, I promised you that through thick or thin Imma be with you regardless of the situation." I say to her. "Thank you.." she says. I wipe her eyes with my thumbs and then I release her. She went back to work and I go get into my car.

I hit the steering wheel a few times, mostly to let out my anger and frustrations with Alexis. However I managed to calm down enough to make the drive home. I had shit to do today but I guess not anymore. I drive home and all I want to do is sleep, maybe wake up from this bullshit nightmare I got going on but nothing seems to be working.

What I said to her I genuinely meant it. I just wish she were still mine but I'm trying to tell myself I'm happy as long as she's okay. I think I am though because I always here that shit that says if you love something set it free and if it comes back it's meant to be.

I talked to Jarvis today and even he thinks I should of been over his by now. He just trying to help me though but I see where everyone is coming from telling me it's not healthy to be worried about a girl who barely knows me.

I'm still a little guilty about not telling her that we are married because she has a right to know. I'm not pressed on telling her though so I'm putting it off, she doesn't suspect it, however I'm glad she hasn't brought up the idea of getting her tattoo removed but that would be way to much. I also need to tell her she lives in a house with me but all these secrets have a time and a place to come out and now it neither time nor place for it.