Miss Independent

83

This whole waiting thing is driving me insane, I couldn't sleep last night waiting on news. They refuse to tell me anything and I'm only holding. Y temper for my kids because if not I would of choked a stupid doctor!

I took my kids to the food court to eat because I'm trying to act as normal as possible, I couldn't eat a damn thing though. I tried to drink water but my throat rejected it.

I fed Ava some jello because today she wanted to be the baby from hell and refuse to eat anything except the jello. I think it's because she misses Alexis, she'll eat anything Alexis gives her and I don't know how she does it. Maybe I'm not around enough but it's tough...don't get me wrong I love my kids more than anything but just even imagining me being in charge of them without my wife is a nightmare.

I push those thoughts out of my mind because that can't happen. Alexis is a fighter so she's going to come out of this perfectly fine!

"Guys, y'all ready to go?" I ask them. "Yeah!" Ava yells. Kenzie is falling asleep into her food and I don't blame her she's always been a sleepy head. "Sonny get Kenzie awake, lets go see you're mother." I say. Sonny has kind of adjusted to calling us his parents mostly because he wanted to keep up with Kenzie. Now he has two sets of parents but we barely see our dad anymore he kind of disappears every once in a while.

"Kenzie get up come onnnnn!" He says as he taps her arm. Then Sonny comes and picks Ava up. I help him put her on his back like a piggy back ride, he's an amazing brother to both Kenzie and Ava so this is normal. "Be careful man." I say to him as I pick up Kenzie. She lays her head on my shoulder and sometimes I think she's the baby.

"I miss mommy." She says. "I do to, we going see her soon though." I say as we walk. As soon as I get back I see doctors blocking her door. "Excuse, what's going on?" I ask one of them.

"Let me get you're doctor." She replies. A few seconds later my doctor emerges from the crowd.

"Mr. Beckham." She says. "What's going on?" I ask. "Well good news, you're wife is fine, she's waking up, she's going to be in a a lot of pain and she's on some pain killers, however we need to keep her for observation because her white blood cell count is extremely low." She says. "Okay that's good..." I say as I feel a wave of relief flood my body.

"How about my baby? How's our baby?" I ask. The doctors face falls and I feel my head drop into my stomach. "Guys can you wait for me in those chairs?" I say to Kenzie and Sonny who are standing here. "Take Ava with you." I say. Sonny who still has Ava on his back walks like five feet away and sits in the chair while Mackenzie follows closely behind.

"Sir you're baby is alive..." she starts. "Is my baby okay? Wait you guys were able to actually save them both?" I ask. I'm surprised because I doubted I'd be able to have Alexis and our child but God came through for me today! However that doesn't explain the doctors face...

"Well we were able to save them both however they are both very weak, your wife has lost a lot of blood and the your baby girl have a great amount of complications.." she says and then I realized that me and Alexis had another girl. "She's going be fine though right? Babies are born premature all the time..." I say because I can't accept that my baby isn't okay. It's tough for a parent like shouldn't of this day been at least one plus like either Alexis or the baby totally okay? Life isn't fair that way..

"Well her lungs aren't developed yet so we have to keep her on a machine that works as lungs until she can breath on her own, we also found a hole in two of her major blood vessels, we're hoping it closes up on its own though, also the child has anemia, and we keep her in an incubator because she can't regulate body heat, however we see no signs of any infections or and bleeding of the brain so that's a good sign, it's really just a day by day kind of thing now.." she says.

"Okay, what else do I need to know about my daughter?" I ask because I can't think of anything else to say because it's a lot of information. "Well you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl; she weighs 3 pounds and is 16 inches long." She says. That makes things even scarier for me because that means my daughter weighs less than most things I've ever help before in my hand.

"Uhm can I go see them?" I ask. "Well we are running tests on your daughter so you can go and see your wife in the mean time.." she says. "Can I bring my children?" I ask. "Yes that might brighten her up as long as it's not overwhelming." She replies.

Instead I call Jarvis who flew into town to be with us, and I ask him to take the kids because I don't want them to see Alexis or me, or their baby sister like this. It could be scarring and I don't want them to have a bad image in their mind.

"Look uncle Jay is coming for you guys okay?" I say to them. "But I wanna stay here.." Sonny says. "Yeah but y'all need baths and stuff, I'll FaceTime y'all when I see mommy though okay?" I say. "Okay I guess so.." Kenzie replies. "How about my little baby what do you say?" I say as I kiss Ava's cheek. "I wanna stay here!" She says. "No princess you gotta go too." I reply. "But I have to tell you guys a secret..." I say. "What?" Sonny and Kenz ask me in hushed voice. "You guys have a new little sister.." I say. "Can we see her?" Kenzie asks. "Whather name?" Ava asks. "Why is she here so early?" Sonny asks. "Well Kenz, not yet, Ava we don't know yet, and because mommy had the baby come out today." I say to them. The ask me a few more questions and I sugar coat the questions for them as much as possible.

Jarvis arrives quickly and we talk for a second and then he takes the kids away. I know that everyone is blowing up my phone that they want to be here for me and for her but they respect that I need space and that I'll let them know. However since ain't no one here all of her friends are blowing up my phone like Aaleeyah wants hourly updates.

When I walk into her room I see that she's still sleeping but I guess my footsteps woke her up because her eyes flutter open.

"Hey baby.." I say to her. "Hi.." she says weakly. "You want water?" I ask her. She nods and I get her a cup with water and I place it on a table next to the bed because I notice her trying to sit up.

As soon as she starts to sit up she clenches her teeth and squeezes her eyes shut in pain. I can faintly hear her whimpering. "Come on babe you're okay.." I say as I help her sit up. "It hurts..." she screams out in pain. "Here drink you're water please.." I say as I hand her the cup.

"Odell..." she says as tears fall from her eyes. "Baby I know you're in pain, it's from the C-section...they had to make a big cut because our baby was so tiny.." I say. "Our baby? Where's our baby?" She asks me. "She's in the baby section...we had a girl and I was hoping that we could name her.." I say. "Uhm remember that name?" She asks me. "Carter.." I reply because I know Alexis promised her self she was going to name her daughter this and I'm all for it. "Middle name can be Rayne?" I ask. Alexis nods. "Okay so our baby is Carter Rayne Beckham." I say to Alexis. "Where's my baby? I want to see her!" She says. "She's in the baby area, I'll take you to see her if they'll let us though.." I say.

"I want to see my baby now.." she says. "Baby I haven't even seen her." I say to her. "She's okay right? Like I haven't seen her, my baby is alive right?" She asks me. "Yes she's fine, Alexis relax please.." I say. "Odell stop telling me to relax!" She yells at me. I get that she's frustrated and in pain so I don't even take it personal.

I spent a few hours with her just in pain and crying and nurses and the whole nine. It's hard for her because she's in so much pain but I'm here for her yelling and screaming.

They haven't let Alexis see our baby because she's to weak to make the walk, I've been trying to go see her but they are busy trying to regulate her bodily functions.