Miss Independent

49

"I know but I gotta have it all together before I go off and do anything else, I don't like to share things, I feel like holding it in is better. I don't know why, and I know it's not good but that's just how I've always been."she says to me. "I noticed, but you need to try to talk to me, I'm just trying to help you, all I do is for you, and you always shutting me out." I say. "I know, I noticed, I don't remember nothing but I can tell we had something real..." she says trailing off. I continue to drive through the New York traffic while my mind just travels off to our relationship.

I've realized it's almost going to be 3 years with her and I lost almost an entire year with her accident. I basically gave up hope for my old Alexis but at least I have her back, maybe not the memories but it's still the same thing.

"Anyways don't you finish football season soon?" She asks me. "Yeah actually I have playoff games, if we win we go to the Super Bowl if not we finish." I say. "That's not to bad." She says. "Nope it's not, speaking of I missed practice today..." I say because I realized I did, I forgot all about it and it's not looking good on my record with coach but he claims he understand.

"I'm sorry." She says to me. "Nah it's cool coach understand what's going on, plus I been playing good so he's taking it easy on me." I say. I pull into the parking lot of a restaurant and we get out.

As soon as I walk in with Alexis the greeters eyes land on me. She stares at me until I'm up to the thing.

"Oh my god, your that sexy football player!" She says. I smile a little and I nod. "Wow so uhm how can I help you?" She says. "I've never seen you here before it's great to have such a good looking guy come make my day better.." she says awkwardly. I clear my throat trying to pretend she isn't talking to me.

"Anyways, I can help you around the menu if you want my break is coming up and I wouldn't mind spending it with you." She says. "So am I invisible or something?" Alexis says with a sassy attitude. "Like I was saying Odell, my break is coming up, I've never been with a football player before." She says. "No thanks I just want a table for me and my girl." I say as I sling my arm around Alexis's neck.

"I know how football players are, if you're ever looking for something fun, just stop by here and I can show you a good time after my shift." She says winking. "Like he said, he has a girlfriend, who happens to be standing here and I ain't in the mood for your shit." Alexis says to the girl.

"Honey he's a football player not a preacher, that man ain't yours." The girl says. "Trust me you don't know my man sweetie." Alexis replies. "I'll have fun getting to know him." The girl says.

"Bitch watch yourself cause you don't know me either!" Alexis says slamming her hands down on the counter where the menus are. "Baby chill." I say as I wrap my arm around Alexis and I pull her back. The loud banging noise trigger the manager to come out and he basically sent the girl off and got me and Alexis a table. He apologized and said our meal was on the house.

"I ain't mean to get loud like that." Alexis says to me shyly. "Nah I'm sorry for that whole situation, I should of just taken you somewhere else." I reply but deep down I was a little happy cause I knew Alexis only get jealous like that when shes serious about something.

I try not to smile about it and keep a serious face cause I know how she be getting. For a moment I saw a flash of my Alexis but then I had to just pull myself into reality. This my Alexis now, maybe she won't remember our first year but atleast we making new memories.

"I gotta tell you something before you hear it from anyone else though." She says to me. "What happened?" I ask her. "So while I was kind of not talking to you I kind of spent some time with my dad's friend Kobe, yessss I know what you're going to say what the hell! He's to damn old, but he was really sweet but I couldn't be with him cause I wanted to be with you.."she says slowly. My heart drops. That's something I never wanted to hear I would of rather been fine not knowing this but I understand her.

"So what happened between you guys? Did you...shit I'll just say it, did you have sex with him?" I ask her as I put my face into my hands. "I don't want to talk about it..." she says. "Shit..."I say as my face falls. "I'm sorry it was only once, it was almost four months ago..."she says to me. "Okay.." I say because I'm at a loss for words right now.

"Odell I'm sorry, I know it's not some news you'd want to hear but I want to be honest with you..."she says. I get up and I go to the bathroom without saying a word to her. I couldn't just sit there taking that blow to the chest I needed a break. I took this time to cool down, cause I know I'm pretty reactive when I'm upset. I finally managed to be calm enough to walk back out and go to Alexis and her eyes were red and puffy.

She brightened up when she saw me but I could only keep my straight face. The waiter came by and we ordered them we went back to the conversation at hand.

"I'm sorry Odell, it was once and either way me and you weren't together..." she says and I understand her. I understand that her feelings aren't deep for me as mine are for her with the relationship that we built but it's still pretty upsetting though.

"Please say something..."she says as she reaches over and touches my arm. I accidentally flinch and I know how hurtful it must be for her but the thing is, how can she leave me with the excuse that she doesn't want a boyfriend then she goes and fucks a famous baller.

"So what y'all got going on now?" I ask her. "Nothing, I just want you..at least that's what I think I want.."she says to me. "I'm not mad...I guess I'm just shocked, and upset, but I guess I gotta respect it, you don't understand how our relationship was since you don't remember it so it's not like it's your fault.

"I know that, but I also know that I feel something for you and that's why I'm here.."she says. "Alright I don't want to talk about it Lex, let's just enjoy the day and pretend you never told me this.." I say. She nods and then we try to enjoy our day even though my mind is clouded by an image of Alexis with another man now.