Loca, Spider Monkey

123. Demetri Volturi - Grief

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"Oh my god, get that hell off the radio!" You laughed as you took your hand from the wheel of your car and hit a button, much to your best friends dismay. "That was a classic!" Your best friend whined as you rolled to a stop at a red light. "Wait woah... people are running-" Your best friend pointed out as a crowd of people ran across the street in sheer terror and both of you jumped when you heard loud gunshots. Four of them rang out as a man with a shot gun fired aimlessly seemingly deranged. You both screamed as the gunshots grew more erratic and toward the the row of cars behind.
There was another bang and your best friend screamed and cried, begging for help as sirens blared out as you lay limp on the steering wheel, the horn blaring under your weight.

Things were never really the same after the day you had been shot. There were four deaths and thirteen casualties.Many more having minor injuries from the chase. The deranged shooter was apprehended at the scene. It was on the news and Carlisle had been put on call immediately. Charlie Swan was on the scene immediately. They had closed off the road and he peered through your window to see your shaking, sobbing best friend. "Help me..." Carlisle was the one who had to tell Demetri who was at a complete loss and with one phone call, his life was never the same again and more than anything, he wanted to forget.

Around week later, you had survived the odds and were living with him. He still noticed all the looks he was given though by the other guards. They wanted to say something but seemed to swallow it down and carry on. None of them directly acknowledged you which Demetri assumed was their way of coping with what had happened. You didn't seem even remotely affected which was all that Demetri cared about. It went on like this for months and Demetri had enough of everyone acting as though they were walking on eggshells. This ultimately lead to Demetri getting in fights with the lower guards before the fights were stopped by Felix, Alec or Jane and Demetri had stormed off to his room.

"Demetri, you can't do that, it's not their fault!" You tried to reason with him, sitting on his bed.
"I dont know what their problem is. You're lucky to be alive, we're lucky you're alive!"
"Tell me, moment by moment after i was shot." You said immediately. Demetri seemed perplexed. "What?"
"Go on, tell me. What time did i go and come out of surgery, what did i have done? Tell me everything."
He went to tell the story but went quiet. He didn't know how the story begun. So he moved onto when you were found and taken into an ambulance. That's where his memory slipped again. He grew alarmed that he couldn't remember when you went into surgery nor when you were released. He was just so happy you had beaten the odds. Now that he thought of it, what day did you come to Italy? How long had it actually been since you were released before you moved here?

"I'm not insane." Demetri said forcefully. "You're real and you're here."
"No, you're not crazy."
"Stop it." Demetri shook his head, his voice wavered. He wasn't so certain anymore.
"Think about it, what do humans do when they've lost someone they love?"
"Cry...i can't do that."
"Exactly and what do humans, every day, do that you cant?"
Demetri thought about it and slowly, the answer came to him. "Sleep."
You nodded, your smile hadn't faded. "Sleep breaks the ever going cycle of life. It allows the brain to process the previous information given. Those breaks and some time, they do wonders. You know that." You stepped closer. "You cant do that, so your brain has to find a way to process what happened to me."
"It's impossible for me to remember what didn't happen..." Demetri said and his eyes grew darker, not liking the implication.
"Just like it's impossible to survive a bullet through the head." You smiled despite your dark words. You seemed completely at peace and as soon as you said it he could have sworn he heard a gunshot echoing in the distance...from the back of his head where he kept the memory of that day. Suddenly, blood was dripping down your ears.

"(Y/N)...have I been alone all this time?" The realisation hit Demetri like a train, sudden and overwhelming. Flashes of that day returned as well as the strange looks the Volturi would give him when he mentioned you. He could see them bite back their responses. "you're trying to make sense of a world that doesn't make sense, Demetri. We aren't supposed to understand that how or why these things happen, they just do."
"Are you talking about the shooting or that ive imagined all of this?" He stammered.
You didnt respond.

"How long...?" Demetri trailed off, his eyes black and wide. He looked ready to cry but the tears wouldn't fall. He wasn't sure what he had begun to ask.
"I'll be here until you don't need me anymore." You promised him. You decided that he kinder thing was to leave the room, to let him adjust.

"Demetri?"
Demetri spun to the voice in the doorway to be face to face with Felix who paused. Heidi behind him. "Hey...are you okay?" Felix asked.
"(Y/N) died?" Demetri could barely muster the words. Felix immediately wore a look of sympathy on his face as Heidi nodded meekly behind him. "i'm sorry man..." The confirmation shattered his heart and he physically recoiled. Heidi immediately moved forward and reached out to him, pulling Demetri into a hug. "I know, I know."
"I- I-" Demetri didn't know what to say despite his mouth opening and closing in attempt to form a sentence. He needed everything to shut off just for a moment but he couldn't stop and couldn't keep up. Heidi hushed him softly, rubbing his back. A sudden guttural cry escaped him. "My (Y/N)!" His voice filled with pain and he barely felt Felix take hold of his shoulders and comforting him. "Demetri..." Heidi said softly. "It was sad what happened to (Y/N) and they were beautiful. None of us think any differently. We understand."
"Remember what Carlisle told you." Felix piped up. "It was quick. They didn't feel a thing. It was so quick that they didn't even have the chance to register what happened." Demetri remembered something like that but somehow he thought you were still alive.
He couldn't open his eyes even when he heard your voice again, this time from the doorway. His imagination could fill it in for him. No doubt you were leaning on the door frame, resting your head on it with the same soft soothing smile. "Oh and Demetri...you aren't alone."

He wasn't really sure when he stopped seeing you but it was unnoticed at first. He had begun to feel better,despite very raw but he was healing for sure. He just kept in mind what you had said. You aren't alone.