Loca, Spider Monkey

68. Jacob Black - Imprinting

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Jacob Black was insanely, obsessively, painfully in love with Bella Swan, and it sort of killed you on the inside.

He and his father were family friends, which meant that the two of you had spent a lot of time together as kids. You were close — really close — so when you suddenly realized in your sophomore year that your feelings for him ran deeper than friendship, you'd expected him to feel the same way.

Only he didn't.

You didn't see what was so special about Bella. Not only was she super hung over on her previous boyfriend who had up and left her, but she was also only really using Jacob as the rebound guy. That was all he was to her, but even if it was so pathetically obvious, he was somehow okay with being strung on like that.

"Bella's cool," Quil defended when you voiced your complaints to him.

"Ugh, not you, too!" you groaned.

Embry shook his head and laughed. "(Y/N)'s just jealous," he explained, "because she's super into Jacob."

"Am not!" you protested, even though you knew there was no way you could convince Embry. He knew you almost as well as Jacob did — if not better, sometimes.

And then Embry got a tattoo and cut his hair short, and ditched all his friends for Sam Uley's gang, which seemed to have a jarring effect on Jacob. He kept telling you about the dread in his gut that seemed to tug at him in warning whenever Sam looked at him. Jacob was convinced he was next.

He wasn't wrong.

One day, the two of you were in his garage together, talking and laughing about absolutely nothing, and then the next, he was unable to take visitors because he was sick, which was a bunch of bullshit, really, because shortly after, you saw him hanging out with Sam's gang. Jacob was gone, too, just like Embry.

"He can't talk right now," Billy would say whenever you called.

Yeah, because he's too busy kissing up to Sam Uley, you scoffed silently.

You couldn't help but wonder if this was the way he was treating Bella, too. Or was she more important than you? Did he still keep in touch with her, despite being part of Sam Uley's cult?

Things like that made you feel very insecure.

But luck seemed to finally make its way to your side — you stumbled across Sam's gang as you made your way back from a lonely walk on the beach. They were rowdy, as usual, and even Jacob looked somewhat happy. It stung to know that he was perfectly okay ignoring you.

"Hey!" you shouted.

It got all of the boys' attention. You noticed Sam wasn't there with them, but that didn't make them any less intimidating. Jared and Paul had been brainwashed first, and the influence Sam had on them probably ran deeper than that which he held on Embry and Jacob.

And then Jacob's eyes locked on yours and it was like someone had pulled the ground from under your feet. A spasm of panic ran down your spine; what if he didn't want anything to do with you anymore? He seemed so distraught and caught off-guard by you being there. He probably thought he'd made his desire to not be friends anymore clear enough. I was just too stupid to get it, you thought.

"Jacob?" Embry touched his shoulder softly, as if afraid to break him.

Jacob didn't look away from you. He was frozen in place, like the hands of time were moving for everyone else but him. There was something in his eyes that you couldn't believe was actually there, a softness that seemed to stab at your heart over and over again.