Forth Beam Short Stories

Loyal (part 5)

Beam's P.O.V.

I woke startled and grabbed my phone to see that it was 7:30 am. I really thought I had overslept. I won't be able to fall back asleep I thought so I got out of bed. I freshened up before I started to pack everything. I was supposed to leave soon anyway. When everything was done it was almost 9 am. Am I really going to meet him? I should though I need some closure at least. I took everything to my car before walking to were the breakfast was served. Phana and Wayo have surely left for their honeymoon and I'm sure Ming and Kit are wasted still sleeping so I don't worry about them. As I near the entrance I notice Forth standing outside looking nervous. I contemplated turning back when he looked up and saw me giving me a sad smile.

"You came." He said walking towards me.

"I almost didn't." I mumbled but he heard me.

"I was thinking that maybe talking here isn't such a good idea." He said scratching the back of his head and I nodded.

"Let's just go to my room." I said walking away. As if I could eat something now anyway. It's better to talk alone. He followed me and laughed when I reached to open the door. I looked at him questioningly.

"That's my room." He pointed to the room beside mine and I wasn't even surprised my life seems to be one cruel joke. I entered the room and he followed.

"Should I order room service?" I asked but he shook his head.

"I'm not hungry." He said and I nodded.

"Let's talk in the balcony then." I said walking and sitting down in one of the chairs looking at the view. He was the one who asked to talk and I don't even know what to say.

"Beam I'm sorry I want to apologize because I know I was in the wrong. You did nothing wrong and I still hurt you. I let my insecurities get in the way and I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me." He said sincerely but it just hurt me. I knew I wasn't in the wrong but still I was the one who hurt in the end hearing that made me even madder.

"I still don't understand. Why did you do it? I was never unfaithful since we started our relationship I was serious. You knew I was insecure about my past. That's why I was extra careful about everything. You made me happy and I wanted you to feel that too when you were with me. So I turned down any girl that approached me quickly until they stopped and I was always very attentive towards you. Heck I even told you every time I met with a girl for a group project. But instead of trusting me you just got more jealous and started acting irrationally. Then you just up and left didn't even try to contact me after we done up in bad terms. Was that really what I deserved after everything?" I said calmly but my hands were shaking. I was feeling so many emotions anger, sadness, betrayal everything at once.

"I was stupid I don't have any excuse for my behavior. I was just so caught up in my studies and I didn't have time to be with you. Then I started to think that you will get bored and look for someone else. When you started hanging out with that girl it just grew bigger. I really thought you will leave me for someone else someone who could be there with you often and showered you with love and I couldn't be that person not at that time. So I thought that before you hurt me I should leave you but you didn't want to you wanted to fight for our love. In that moment the only thing that I knew would push you away was bringing up your past. I was going to leave and I didn't expect you to come with me and in that moment I couldn't bear the thought of a long distance relationship. So I did what I thought I had to in that moment. I contemplated looking for you an apologizing but if I did I was afraid I wouldn't want to leave. So I packed my bags and didn't look back. Once I was there I regretted my decision and then I called Wayo and he told me how much I hurt you. I didn't want to come back, I didn't deserve you. I was hoping you'd be alright with someone new. But you are alone and still hurt and I selfishly want you back in my life." He said and I gasped.

"Get out." I said standing up mad. He looked startled not moving so I grabbed his hand to pull him up and push him away.

"Beam..." he started to say but I cut him off.

"No just no! Seriously how can you even say that? What do you expect me to do huh? To be happy and kiss you and forget about everything? Well that's not gonna happen." I said opening the door but he stayed where I left him.

"Don't you feel anything for me anymore? I love you and I know you love me too. Yesterday I could feel it when you looked at me. I don't expect you to forgive me right now but give me a chance." He pleaded and I sighed.

"I do love you Forth's and I'm sure I always will but that doesn't mean I want to go back to you. So no I am not giving you a chance I just wanted some closure. I wanted to know why you hurt me and you know what that doesn't even make sense. It's just stupid! You were insecure? Then you should've talked to me instead of fighting. We could've work through this there was a better way. But you were always selfish and you only thought about not getting hurt. Well now it's too late." I said finally pushing him away from the room.

"I'm moving back here Beam! I lied I have already made my decision. I just need to settle some things but I'll be back." He said and I was shocked.

"I don't care do whatever you want just don't bother me anymore." I said slamming the door on his face. Was I doing the right thing? I don't know. But one things for sure I can't let him hurt me again.